Read John Berardi's Massive Eating Reloaded series NOW. Serious info/plans and it's free. Click on "Diet Programs" on the left of the screen.
Pick a program in the "training" section and work it consistently, following all the parameters with none of your own improvising.
Can anyone recommend something suitable for this guy since he's obviously a genuine beginner?
Get some coaching/personal training so you don't get injured. Have them teach you to squat, deadlift, and bench.