smoke billowing up out of the cellar into my kitchen now. My first thought was to grab my roommate and get out before the whole place goes up. Then I realize there’s people on the 2nd and 3rd floor and they may not get out in time. I edge down the stairs and when I get to the basement the smoke is worse. I walk towards the furnace and realize the sound is coming from behind it,from the washing machine.
Now I’m thinking “wtf?? Did someone put cement or a brick in this thing??” So I walk over and gingerly open the lid,…there is so much laundry in it that it’s actually piling up out of the machine. Picture 4 super sized loads, and that’s what was in this normal sized machine. The smoke was from the motor on the machine burning out. We JUST got these fucking things installed a few weeks ago. To their credit I figured it would be 5 days before the morons that live above us ruined it for everyone. Then I notice that the gas line that connects to the dryer runs directly above the washer. If that motor had started a small fire,…kaboom. So I pull the plug on the washer and go back up to my room. I’ve only been in bed about 3 minutes when I hear someone go down the stairs into the cellar. I throw my shoes on and go down there intent on reaming out the jackass that could’ve potentially gotten us all killed.
So I get down there and there’s some glassy eyed girl I’ve never seen standing there in a filthy dress and shirt saying "oh shiiiiiiit’ in a complete monotone. She apparently just moved in,and if I had to guess I’d say she was mentally challenged, or stone. We have this exchange:
Me: "Pro tip: Next time you have to elbow drop your laundry to cram it into the washing machine,split it into 2 loads. Or in this case 4. That smoke is from the fucking motor on the machine burning out. Best case scenario it would’ve just killed the machine. Worst case it would catch itself on fire, or one of the piles of dust and lint, and ignite the gas line that’s going right above the machine and kill all of us.
Girl: “oooooh shiiiiiiiiiit,…I thought I smelled smoke on the 3rd floor,woooooow the machine wasn’t even that fuuuuull,look it didn’t even finish the spin cycle,.what should I do?”
Me: “I’ve never seen that much laundry in a machine before. Split it into several loads and put it through the drier. You probably broke the washing machine. Why are you even doing laundry at 5 in the morning???”
Girl: “It’s 5 in the morning??? My alarm usually goes off at 8”
Me: “So you’re alarm woke you up and you thought it was 8? Didn’t you notice it was dark out?”
Girl: “Alarm? What alarm?”
This girl was high as a fucking kite. So anyway I leave the cellar as she’s cramming her shit into the dryer. I get up the next morning and I can hear the dryer going still. I think to myself “No fucking way that has been going for the last 4 hours.” I have some of my own laundry to do and I want to see if the washing machine is still a fire hazard, or works ok. So I go down there and the girl is by the dryer, looking completely bat-shit stoned still. She’s trying to pull her laundry out of the dryer, but there’s so much she can’t get it out. She didn’t separate it into several loads apparently. Plus it looks like she’s tying several towels into a knot and wrapping a shoe string around them. Imagine if an octopus got a Charlie horse in all 8 legs,.it kind of looked like that. I’m slack jawed at this point, I have no idea what she’s doing. She starts bitching at me and says “don’t look at me while I’m doing this!!!” and keeps struggling with her knots of laundry.
I mean seriously, my roommates and I knew the people upstairs weren’t too bright,they throw full bags of garbage off their porch into the backyard,.break glass bottles all over the sidewalk,randomly bash their fusebox in the cellar for some reason,and occasionally completely trash their apartment. But this takes the cake. I like having a washing machine in the apartment,.but if it’s going to be turned into an incendiary device I’d prefer the landlord just move it out. Do you think I should tell him about this?
- Apartment filling up with smoke at 4:30 AM.
- Idiot neighbor put ungodly amount of laundry in washer.
- Motor started to burn out & smoke.
- Gas lines directly above washer.
- Neighbor is high as a kite and has no clue what time of day it is.
- Gives me attitude next morning
update: I called the landlord, and told him the brief version: stoned girl doing laundry at 4:30 in the morning, basement filling with smoke, almost lighting cellar on fire. He didn’t sound happy about it, said something to the extent of “Oh…that’s REALY nice…” I asked if we could get some smoke detectors and an extinguisher, he’s bringing them over.