Look, I don’t know if you did it or not, but, for real, you should drive somewhere and fight me. Top ten reasons:
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Everyone else gets called out. I’m tired of waiting for someone to call me out and feeling ignored.
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If you did do it, that’s not nice.
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I will Increase my Explosive Force - Instantly! on you, and you will be so crushed.
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I have watched many UFC fights and absorbed everything, including the commercials.
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My 9th grade English teacher once held me after class and told me I had amazing eyes. I didn’t know if this was a come-on (she was WAY older than me and didn’t look like HolyMac’s teacher) or a random prelude to a discussion of something totally unrelated, but I got scared and bolted before I could find out. Things were pretty uncomfortable in that class for awhile, and never quite the same after. Obviously, I should kick your ass.
This was going to be a top-ten list, but I’m tired. Suck it! (Or fight me over it – reason #6!)