T Nation

Need Your Help!

Hi guys, Im more of a lurker than a poster but would be keen for some input from everyone. There is as much humour on this site as there is nutrition and training info so im expecting some great feedback

basiclly im a personal trainer in belfast, ireland and have some work t shirts with my web address on them. I wanted to get some t shirts printed up just for training in and i wanted them to have my web address aswell as a funny quote along the bottom

example

           my web address
          personal training

“stop f*cking about and start working out”

or

“because walking on a treadmill watching tv, just isnt gonna get you them abs”

im stuck for what i want to write and dont want to be too offensive - just a bit of humour on my training gear which also helps advertise my business

cheers guys

neil

[quote]arsefluff wrote:
Hi guys, Im more of a lurker than a poster but would be keen for some input from everyone. There is as much humour on this site as there is nutrition and training info so im expecting some great feedback

basiclly im a personal trainer in belfast, ireland and have some work t shirts with my web address on them. I wanted to get some t shirts printed up just for training in and i wanted them to have my web address aswell as a funny quote along the bottom

example

           my web address
          personal training

“stop f*cking about and start working out”

or

“because walking on a treadmill watching tv, just isnt gonna get you them abs”

im stuck for what i want to write and dont want to be too offensive - just a bit of humour on my training gear which also helps advertise my business

cheers guys

neil

[/quote]

“Leg extensions are for twats. Get in the rack and do some squats!”
“Squat rack curls are for girls!” No offense to girls who train, of course, I just lack the ability to rhyme.
I give up. Sorry I can’t help you. My thought train was derailed a long time ago. Good luck.

thanks jj - at least u tried

“go beyond 3 sets of 10”

“discounts for those who curl more than they squat - you need help”

“If you ain’t squattin’ you ain’t tryin’”

“A little blood and puke never hurt anybody.”

“Pump more iron than a steelmill”

“Please step away from the treadmill and into the power rack…”

“Neil: making more diesel bodies than Ford”

“Hire me. What else are you gonna spend your money on, crack?”

Eh, that’s all I can think of right now.

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
“If you ain’t squattin’ you ain’t tryin’”

“A little blood and puke never hurt anybody.”

“Pump more iron than a steelmill”

“Please step away from the treadmill and into the power rack…”

“Neil: making more diesel bodies than Ford”

“Hire me. What else are you gonna spend your money on, crack?”

Eh, that’s all I can think of right now.

[/quote]

lol , loving that last one - thanks mate - even just to get some ideas and then they can be worked on

“mechanics fix cars , i fix bodies”

[quote]arsefluff wrote:
Hi guys, Im more of a lurker than a poster but would be keen for some input from everyone. There is as much humour on this site as there is nutrition and training info so im expecting some great feedback

basiclly im a personal trainer in belfast, ireland and have some work t shirts with my web address on them. I wanted to get some t shirts printed up just for training in and i wanted them to have my web address aswell as a funny quote along the bottom

example

           my web address
          personal training

“stop f*cking about and start working out”

or

“because walking on a treadmill watching tv, just isnt gonna get you them abs”

im stuck for what i want to write and dont want to be too offensive - just a bit of humour on my training gear which also helps advertise my business

cheers guys

neil

[/quote]

Humor will get you one kind of client… something serious and motivational will get you another kind. Personally, I’d go for the latter.

“Lift hard. Failure is not an option.”

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[quote]Captain Ron wrote:

Humor will get you one kind of client… something serious and motivational will get you another kind. Personally, I’d go for the latter.

“Lift hard. Failure is not an option.” [/quote]

i want to have a few different t shirts with some funny quotes - others maybe more inspirational but not too cheesy - i see what you are saying though

“just because everyone else stays the same , doesnt mean you have to”

(like that one :slight_smile:

[quote]arsefluff wrote:
Hi guys, Im more of a lurker than a poster but would be keen for some input from everyone. There is as much humour on this site as there is nutrition and training info so im expecting some great feedback

basiclly im a personal trainer in belfast, ireland and have some work t shirts with my web address on them. I wanted to get some t shirts printed up just for training in and i wanted them to have my web address aswell as a funny quote along the bottom

example

           my web address
          personal training

“stop f*cking about and start working out”

or

“because walking on a treadmill watching tv, just isnt gonna get you them abs”

im stuck for what i want to write and dont want to be too offensive - just a bit of humour on my training gear which also helps advertise my business

cheers guys

neil

[/quote]

I have one by that supplement company Animal that says: “Shut the fuck up and train”.

anymore ??

“You’ll be a walking gun show in no time”

“Pain is weakness leaving the body and I am good at making weakness go away.”

“Come on! You know you want to be sore everyday. It’s fun!”

And if it’s mostly men you want to train:

“Hire me. Other men will want to be you and women will want to be on you.”

I don’t know if these apply, or can be modified, but I was at a EMT (emergency medical technician) conference last month (in LAs Vegas) and I saw these and thought they were good:

Go ahead
Drive too fast
Pass on curves
.
:
Its job security for me

We aren’t God
We don’t save lives
We just prolong your miserable existance

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
“You’ll be a walking gun show in no time”

“Pain is weakness leaving the body and I am good at making weakness go away.”

“Come on! You know you want to be sore everyday. It’s fun!”

And if it’s mostly men you want to train:

“Hire me. Other men will want to be you and women will want to be on you.”

[/quote]

haha - gun show

def need a few more ‘gun’ related quotes

[quote]dswithers wrote:
I don’t know if these apply, or can be modified, but I was at a EMT (emergency medical technician) conference last month (in LAs Vegas) and I saw these and thought they were good:

Go ahead
Drive too fast
Pass on curves
.
:
Its job security for me

We aren’t God
We don’t save lives
We just prolong your miserable existance[/quote]

cool - nice to see someone already stole my idea before i even had the chance to invent it :slight_smile:

“Improving everything but the face”

Train heavy or go home

Shut up and Squat

[quote]arsefluff wrote:
Hi guys, Im more of a lurker than a poster but would be keen for some input from everyone. There is as much humour on this site as there is nutrition and training info so im expecting some great feedback

basiclly im a personal trainer in belfast, ireland and have some work t shirts with my web address on them. I wanted to get some t shirts printed up just for training in and i wanted them to have my web address aswell as a funny quote along the bottom

example

           my web address
          personal training

“stop f*cking about and start working out”

or

“because walking on a treadmill watching tv, just isnt gonna get you them abs”

im stuck for what i want to write and dont want to be too offensive - just a bit of humour on my training gear which also helps advertise my business

cheers guys

neil

[/quote]

I only give you this because you’re on another continent. It’s the slogan I use on my biz cards and will be using on my website once it’s completed.
So all you other Canadian T-Nation peeps better stay the f away from it! Well, okay, keep it if your outside the 604/778 area code.

It’s not offensive, it’s not crude but it’s to the point and has the added scare tactic.

“Procrastination is suicide on a payment plan!”

Cheers bro!

[quote]AllTraps wrote:

I only give you this because you’re on another continent. It’s the slogan I use on my biz cards and will be using on my website once it’s completed.
So all you other Canadian T-Nation peeps better stay the f away from it! Well, okay, keep it if your outside the 604/778 area code.

It’s not offensive, it’s not crude but it’s to the point and has the added scare tactic.

“Procrastination is suicide on a payment plan!”

Cheers bro![/quote]

lol - nice mate - how about ones starting with because . . .

“because trial and error wont sort out that fat ass”

“because everything you do is wrong”

"you pay a monthly membership to look the same ? why ? "

“today you are in the best shape of your life, yet the worst shape you ever want to be”

[quote]arsefluff wrote:

lol - nice mate - how about ones starting with because . . .

“because trial and error wont sort out that fat ass”

“because everything you do is wrong”

"you pay a monthly membership to look the same ? why ? "

“today you are in the best shape of your life, yet the worst shape you ever want to be”

[/quote]

Those are pretty good too. I like the monthly membership one.
Along the same lines:
“You’ve paid for a memebership…now let me show you why!”

I do think you should stay away from the offensive ones. Calling someone a fat ass, even if they are and even if they’re calling themselves that is not going to get you good results.
It’s a like a white dude calling a black dude N, even though he and all his friends call him that! You still don’t use that word.

Pick 10 of your favorites, put them in a hat, pick 5 out. Print those on t-shirts. You’re getting ahead of yourself by making a bigger and bigger list.
Offer some of these new t-shirts for free to your clients that reach their monthly goals. Free advertising for you.
“Who knows what kind of animal awaits inside of you”

cheers bro!

[quote]AllTraps wrote:


I do think you should stay away from the offensive ones. Calling someone a fat ass, even if they are and even if they’re calling themselves that is not going to get you good results.
It’s a like a white dude calling a black dude N, even though he and all his friends call him that! You still don’t use that word. . .
[/quote]

i wouldnt go down that route with the offensive ones although it hurts so bad cos id really want to be training with a t shirt like that on my back :slight_smile:

“somewhere there’s a 10 year old chinese girl warming up with your max.”

“Steroid like results!”