T Nation

Need your help!

My family wants me to come home for christmas break, they want to see me and all that other stuff. They have want to buy me a plane ticket to come up to see them, and said that they will give me the money to store my car as well. However, I DO NOT want to go home. Just yet. It’s a blast out here and to me will ruin the whole effect of “getting away” fom the parents. The want me to come home for a special occasion but I really don’t want to. How do I tell them without being or sounding selfish??? Help Thank you

Well, since it IS selfish, then I’d say you’re SOL.

Tell them the Warden won’t let you.

I have to agree with Brider,…very selfish. You should be ashamed of yourself.

go the fuck home. you can have fun after break.

I was like that when I was younger. But now, I realise how important family is, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. You are lucky that your parents are still together, and I bet there are a lot of other people your age who wish they had parents that loved them like yours do to you. You’ll find out when you become a parent.

What everyone else said.

Tell you a story: My sister was pissed at my father for something or other, and decided to skip Christmas one year. She sent presents and all, but wouldn’t come back to be with the family. Turned out our dad died the next April. So she missed what could have been our last Christmas together as an entire family. To sya that she regrets her decision is so much of an understatement that I won’t even try to come up with a metaphor.

Your luck probably won’t be as bad… but you never know. Get your priorities straight, man.

Damn you people are sick!

Jai you sound like brat. Go the fuck home. Your parents are even paying for it.

Offspring like that are the reason Cuckoo birds lay their eggs in another bird’s nest and split.

What did you expect?

Go and be with your family. Don’t do something stupid that you will regret later in life.

You ask us Jai we didn’t ask you. Remember? And I think most people gave you a straight up answer. Look on the bright side maybe the old girl friends still around or the girl next door will bring just the girl you have been looking for home for the holidays. Sometimes things have the wildest ways of working out. If you really don’t want to go then look between your legs and if they are big enough then say " I don’t feel like it. See you next year, maybe" Then again I bet I know whos paying the bills for you right now…:o}))

“Getting away” from the parents should not turn into disowning them, especially if it’s just to have a little more fun. I would assume you’re in college; is that correct? If so, what is there really to do over break? Everybody goes home anyway. What college are you attending? By going home, you will learn to appreciate your time away much more. Be happy that you have parents that want to see you.

Why don’t you want to go see mommy and daddy for the holidays?

You have the rest of your life to ‘get away’ from your parents. They love you and want to see you and you want to have fun - fun that you will probably not think much about later on in life.
Fun, while it is great, is no reason to piss off or be selfish towards the people who you can probably count on more than anyone else to be a source of love and support for you throughout your life.
Unless you are going on break with your girlfriend/boyfriend to see their family, you really have no way of not going home without being and sounding selfish. Extremely selfish.

First, Jai, as others have said, you are being selfish. Take that however you want to, but to place your fun above your family’s happiness at seeing you during the holidays is self-centered. There are lots of people whose families don’t give a crap about them, and there are people who don’t have families at all. It’s hardly like you won’t have any more opportunities in your life to have fun, but you never know when you might never see a family member again. I made a selfish decision once upon a time to keep avoiding my brother, even when he kept inviting me out for a good time, or asking if he could come with me to a movie or martial arts class. I kept avoiding him, and one day, he committed suicide. I know that the circumstances were not entirely my fault, but I will NEVER get over what happened – the guilt and regret will be with me for life. Of course, this is a worst-case scenario, and yeah, you probably will have other chances to see your family, but just think about the possibilities, and whether or not one more party is worth hurting the people who really do care about you.

Yes, you are being selfish and should go see your parents.

But, on the other hand, your parents are also being selfish for wanting and expecting you to be with them for the holidays. They are even bribing you with money.

The best course of action would be to phone and discuss it with them, keeping an open mind. Let them know why you want to stay put and find out why they want you to be there for the holidays. I’m sure that you all can come to a reasonable answer to the question.

Whatever you do, make sure you let your parents know that you care about them.


That’s probably the most heartbreaking story I’ve ever heard. I hope you’ve learned to forgive yourself and achieved some peace of mind. NycMan

Your parents want to see you even tho you appear to be a selfish little prick, go home. What are we talking here? 1 week max? Grow up and do it, yes there’s all the stuff about you might regret it blah, blah, blah, but it isn’t always about you. They want to see, you do it for them.

Damn, you selfish shit go home and see your parents and tell them how much you love them(if you do). If it weren’t for your parents I doubt very seriously you could afford college and be there right now! Good grief, it’s Christmas man. Is one week away going to ruin your “getting away” experience. Think about someone besides yourself.