T Nation

Need some advice

Hello t-magers. I was hoping I could get some advice on what to do with this situation. There is this girl who i see at work once in while. I always liked her, but never asked her out. One day I ran into a coworker, who told me she was single and looking and that I should pursue her because he said she said I was cute. So the next day I ran into her in the hallway and aske her to go out to lunch. She seemed real friendly and told me yes but she had to go to a meeting right now, but I should e-mail her. So the next day I sent her a e-mail and she quickly responded saying she would love to due lunch but had to leave the next day for a week, but wanted to get together on Monday or Tuesday when she got back. I sent her a e-mail and said that sounds good ,see you then. Well the next day I come into work and a guy I work with calls me into the hallway and starts asking weird questions like what are your intentions , She’s my girl , I know her well. I was kind of thrown buy his questions, but told him I thought she was a sweat girl. He commented on how pretty she was and how nice her body is. So me being a guy said yeah and she has some nice big boobs too. I could tell buy the way this guy was acting that he was extremely jelous. So the next week when she returned I asked her what day she would like to go out. She said she was busy the day I asked. So I asked her out for another day, same response. I know she is a manager and is very busy in work, so I called her and asked her if after work would be good. She gave me a bunch of excuses not to go out, so I told her to call me when she gets a free day. The next day I ran into her and she avoided me like the plague. I come to find out that they used to work together for years and are close friends (buy the way he is 50 years old and she is 28). I am almost certain that this guy bad mouthed me to her. I really like this girl , does anyone have any advice on how I can fix what this asshole messed up for me. I don’t know if I should talk to her, because she barley knows me. And might not beleive that this guy is cockblocking me. I was thinking of kicking his ass, but he is a little old for me. Plus I might lose my job. thanks

I wont tell you what to do, since I dont think I can help you with that. i will however say I was in the exact same situation you are in, and can honestly say if she keeps cancelling and postponing going out with you, she isnt interested and doesnt know how to let you down.

  Since you could be right, and that guy couldve badmouthed you the only wise thing at this point would be for you to walk up to her, tell her her friend called you and explain that you understand she might not want to go out with you, but wanted to make sure it wasnt because of any false rumours from her friend. If she brings the tits comment,  tell her her friend started to make comments on her body and you agreed with him. Simple. Direct.Theres no other way around this unless you want to harass her again and again and again - some people just dont know how to say no.

he may or may not have hated on you. however, if all you said was she had some nice tits, that is hardly enough to scare an interested girl away. contrary to what you might think, girls want you to look at their bodies and be turned on by them, hence the invention of bood jobs. girls are funny like that, she may have got back with her ex, she might really be busy who knows. whatever you do dont be a wuss about it, and chase her around like a lost puppy dog. if you see her talk to her and let it happen how it happens. youve already made your intentions clear, the ball is in her court now.

Thanks for the advice. I told her to call me if she wanted to get together, I don’t plan on calling her again.

Move on to another of the 2.5 billion women on Earth.

If she is stupid enough to not find out for herself what you are about then the hell with her…There are plenty more out there…

send he an email and ask whats going on between the two of you… If she still has intreast in you she’ll keep in contact… If not she wouldn’t even bother writting you back… If thats the case its time to move on…

sorry I meant send her an email not “he” typo

Don’t fish in the company pond.

Dating at work is probably a bad idea. Dating in general is probably a bad idea, too, but I won’t get into that :wink:

Inter office dating = bad…if not career suicide. if you become too persistent, she can claim sexual harrassment, etc. against you. I’d say leave her alone. She’s not the only gal out there. There are GAZILLION women out there who’d love to shag with you, provided that you’re a good guy. :slight_smile:

yea he badmouthed you, and she obviously trusts his judgement a lot more than her own impression of you, so this is a dead end. get an escort to come in during your lunch break, bang her on your desk, make her jealous and earn the respect and admiration of all your male coworkers

that should’ve read “shag you”. BTW – you don’t want to date a woman with no opinion of her own. People like that are boring.

you know you guys are right, but I have to look at this guys face everyday and be reminded he screwed me. Plus I would love for that girl to know what a jerkoof he really is. I know he is in love with her the dick.

you guys and girls hit the nail on head (the hell with her), if she is not going to check me out for herself. I always like the advise I get here.

Good for you, ironman. Your conclusion is correct. Why should a smart T-man like you waste your time trying to hook up with a girl who can’t form an opinion on her own without the old geezer telling her what to think?

thank you Stella

Any time! wink

You really like this girl? You don’t even know her. You are attracted to her. She either isn’t attracted to you or she is not taking on new suitors. Move on. It’s no big deal.

Barely know her, not barley. Unless, that is, you were planning to lay her down in a grain field and go to town…

Anyway, I digress. Looks like everyone has already got it squared away, but for future reference:

  1. Put the ball in their court and make them do something with it. If they don’t have the initiative to make the next step, you probably don’t want to be with 'em anyway.