T Nation

Need Roommate Advice


#1

Alrite, my roommate is a nice guy. We have an apartment on campus, I met him at random last year, and we are rooming together because we both got the shaft in terms of housing assignments. Basically, only doubles in all apartments on campus were left, and we ended up with each other.

Everything up until now has been fine. I go to the grocery store every two weeks at the latest, and drop around $60-$80 on food, grill the meat, come back, and I'm done. Problem is, I have had to spend fucking around $140 because he decides to eat my food and give some of it to his girlfriend. Last night we grilled two bags of chicken breasts, he called her and told her we did, asked me if he could take a couple to her, and fucking TOOK A WHOLE BAG'S WORTH.

I'm pissed. I'm going to have to go to the grocery store again, in about two hours, and drop another fifty bucks on food (to my name, I'm going to have $300 until my next paycheck, mind you). How do I tell him not to eat anything of mine anymore, without ruining the rest of the year? Btw, I'm a sophomore currently.


#2

If he wants to share your food, aks him if he wants to share his girlfriend.


#3

Just man up and let him know. If he doesn't understand then fuck it. Just be nice about it and at least he can't say you were being a dick, although you very well could be.

Be intuitive man.


#4

haha good point


#5

alrite..point taken. I just don't want it to escalate to the point that I have to make mental checks of how much food I have every time I come back from going out.


#6

"If he wants to share your food, aks him if he wants to share his girlfriend."

LOL!

Just lay it out as a straight business arrangement. Don't get mad, just tell him that if he wants to eat your food, he's gotta kick in some money for the privilege. Sounds like you can't afford to feed three people right now. Goin' along to get along won't work, because you'll explode at some point. Better to have it out in the open now while the emotions are manageable and let things work themselves out from there.


#7

Why don't you just section off the cuboards and fridge? Tell him to buy his own food and you'll buy your own food. I don't see what is hard about that, I've lived in shared settings for the past 5 years, this is how we always did it, it works, even at a ymca with 30+ of us sharing the same kitchen and keeping all our food in there, never a problem with theft.


#8

in 99% of cases this is the life of having a roommate.....
I find very few people can live together and carry the load evenly from my experiences. You just have to be up front about it and tell him not to eat your damn food! Even than that isn't always enough.

The thing that struck me in your orignal post was you said

WE where grilling some chicken

Never have a roommate help you cook if you don't plan on sharing the food, they will fell some entitlement to just as much of the food as you get.

Also you said he asked if he could take some to his g/f than you where mad he took a whole bag. Did you tell him he could take some? If so, why?


#9

Exactly how you should put it. He will get the point unless he is a complete tool.


#10

he asked if he could take SOME, which I thought would be maybe one or two breasts, NOT SEVEN. I told him he could because I wanted to be nice, thought he was entitled to one or two.


#11

Since he hasn't been splitting the grocery bill with you all along, your roommate is either clueless, self-absorbed or selfish. Either way, your only task here is to COMMUNICATE very clearly with him and not waste another second worrying about "ruining the rest of the year" with him.

So, what you must do ASAP is act like a man and be VERY DIRECT about the fact that he owes you money for previous food and is required to pitch in for all future food purchases in which he plans to partake.

Don't procrastinate on this either and allow your resentment (totally justified btw) to fester.


#12

although it's tempting to, I'm gonna have to go with SkidMark on this.


#13

His way will work to but this way is more fun.


#14

Oh I know exactly where you are coming from been there.........
I am not saying he should have taken seven but it does not shock me one bit. This is how roommates can be......

I am guessing you are into lifting weights and stuff since you are on this site so food is very important to you. That is why you make sure to buy it. Your roommate (probably) doesn't have the same goals as you so food is not important to him, why he doesn't pitch in on groceries and just mooches off you. he probably spends his money on other things such as beer though.......

You have the right plan listening to Skidmark, just lay it all out and don't hold back what is pissing you off. I have done that before and it just makes everything worse.

Little more advice, DO NOT ask him to give you some money for when YOU buy groceries he will still eat more than his share guaranteed. Make him buy HIS OWN SHIT! Do not split grocery bills! Unless you are buying in bulk, than just split everything you buy in half and store it on separate shelves.


#15

Well now hold on a sec. We need pictures of the girlfriend of course.


#16

I think chillain hit it on this head here with the guy being clueless, self-absorbed, or selfish. How do you not realize you are eating what someone else is paying for?

and telling him sooner rather than later when you've let it really build up is the best plan.

And like Kalle said, don't ask for money or you will be his shopping-bitch for the entire time you room together. He will just wait for you to do the shopping and then pitch in his money and still eat more than what he paid for.


#17

What skidmark said.

Communication, communication, communication.

I probably had one of the biggest douche bag roommates ever my Junior year (wouldn't do dishes and used an incredible amout of dishes anytime he did anything, ate my food, drank all my milk and when I said something just blew me off).

I made the mistake of letting it build to the point I snapped. I walked into the kitchen sweeping my arm across the dishes heaped up in the sink and piled up on the counter top scattering them all over the place then proceeding into the living room where he was laying on the couch with a shocked look on his face, yanking him up and basically threatening to beat him senseless if he didn't clean shit up.

It did change the behavior but needless to say there were hard feelings.

You just need to tell him what's up. It's not right for him to be eating that much of your stuff and a person like that you basically want to say, mine is mine yours is yours and leave it at that. Some people are just takers and you have to deal with it head on.


#18

Kill him in his sleep. Really, you call this a problem?


#19

Or he might say yes... that's gotta be worth at least a quarter chicken dinner.


#20

It may not seem like much but it can be a aggravating at the least and if his finances are very tight then certainly a problem.