I've been lurking on different threads for a while now but it's now come a time where I'm at loss and really need your help. I'm gonna give you a little sob story to go with this to give you better understanding what I need help with.
Currently I'm 34 years old. About 7 years back I went through a bad break up. The timing of it was probably a huge contributor as to how it effected me as at the same time my job went to crap (i'm in realestate lending and was the first one to take a hit when the market collapsed ), I lost my home and had a family burden as my moms cancer came back.
All this devastated me and really got me depressed. I went on a bender partying and drinking and neglecting my job even further. My health got bad and I gained weight as I stopped exercising and started smoking weed to cope. My sex drive got bad and I went from being Rocco to having to force myself to think about sex and overall feeling crappy and feeling like grieving. Got to the point where I'd have to smoke to get it up.
Lucky for me about 6 months later I met a great supportive girl with whom I've been ever since (althou it took me a long time to get over my ex- not really just her but the feeling of hatered as to how I got played). I' ve kept smoking weed and sort of just coasted through life without haveing any drive, having low self esteem,
and feeling sorry for myself.
I tried geting back into the gym, but every time I'd go and do a solid workout I'd feel physically sick and would get flu like symptoms. I'd also have to force myself to just stay at the gym and not leave in 5 minutes. I'd gain no muscle what so ever. I also started to get comatose sleepy after carbs and being sensitive to gluten.
I started researching symptoms and came across a thread on this forum where low T was the culprit so I finally went to a primary care doc and got tested. (This was about a year ago). At the same time I got my girl preagnant.
Sure enough my testosterone came in at 302 in a 280-1100 range. My cholesterol results were also sky high! See attached. The doc referred me to a urologist and this guy right away put me on testopel. 12 pellets every 4 months. At that point I was 225lbs with about 34% BF.
I hit the gym pretty hard. Going 5 days a week. Not doing any cardio but just lifting. In 8 weeks my test level went up to 680. I had no more flu symptoms and would recover in a day to two tops per muscle group with minimal soreness. My mood improved slightly, sex drive actually got worse, my balls shrunk a bit and I'd barely have any cumshot, but I pressed on and kept going to the gym as my main goal was to address the cholesterol and maybe hope my head gets fixed. So a year later, I'm still 220lbs but with 24% BF. My cholesterol results came in about 100 points lower all across the bad parts, good cholesterol went up slightly but not by much.
Well I was due for a refil of testopell a month ago, but it turns out my insurance changed their policy and would only pay for 6 pellets. This would put me where I was without TRT. After talking to my doc and in about a year wanting another kid we decided to see if I can get my balls working again so he put me on Clomid 50mg EOD. The first 3 weeks I started feeling great. Sex finally started feeling like it should. Rock hard erections, good orgasms and finallly some decent cumshots.
Now the 4th week this all flatlined. I'm feeling like crap, no drive, mood swings, my digestive problems are back, I got weaker and seems like i'm gaining body-fat which all seems to be going into my gut and chest. I also feel nauseous at times. I'm a bit freaked out that I'm gonna end up with a gyno.
What am I supposed to do with this? I'm due to check my test levels jn a week so maybe this will shine some light as to what's going on but I'm totally freaked out.
Has anyone gotten off TRT and successfully returned to normal?
I'm thinking that I probably still had some of the pellets left over when I started Clomid and now they run out but it's just a shot in the dark.