T Nation

Need Help for My Girlfriend

Hi guys,

I need help for my girlfriend’s training. She is 19 year old, with totally no sports background and very skinny. I really wished to help her gain mass. But, there are some serious problems that i encountered.

  1. She refuses to lift more weights
    Any idea how to get her to that?

  2. I dont really have an idea how to train a total beginner, like a good plan that dont kill her that easily.

Because I come from swimming background, lifting weight are not much of a problem to me. Sometimes, i get really impatient with her! haha but i understand because of 19 without sports, it’s really hard to get her started.

Any help is really appreciated :slight_smile:

A few things:

  1. Does she want to gain mass? Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t, maybe she doesn’t know that gaining mass/lifting weights will get her the body type of some famous celebrities she might already envy for their bodies. Ask her what she thinks is attractive in a fit woman. Perhaps look at some pictures of famous women with her(everyone always uses Jessica Alba for an example here) and talk about their body types and that they lift weights.

  2. You’re going to have to explain to her that just because she lifts weights does NOT mean she will automatically balloon up and look like a bodybuilder. Unless she is accidentally sitting on syringes filled with human growth hormone it won’t happen. Trust me, the fit women on this site spend years and years to look like they do. Just because she starts bench pressing does not mean she’ll start looking like a man! Most women have this misconception and use it as an excuse. In order to look like a body builder you have to train ridiculously hard, eat the right foods in huge amounts. Put an end to this misconception, this is probably your main problem.

  3. Have her look at Muscle with Attitude and talk about the types on programs the women here are doing and look at their pictures. Of course explain that she isn’t going to start looking like a ripped figure competitor either unless she is really into paint on tans and carb depletion. Again, those women train for years to look like that.

The physique clinic might be a good place to start. Littlejo is a tiny little thing, maybe their body types are similar? Her workouts are posted as well (although they are to intense for a beginner) but you can get a feel for the types of exercises.

  1. As for a program, it probably isn’t to crucial to have a strict program. I’d focus more on introducing her to different types of exercises and getting her comfortable in the weight room and using weights. Even if she is just bench pressing the bar she is learning proper form as well as getting used to being in the weight room.

Teach her proper squat form starting out with just bodyweight and then using an unweighted bar. Teach her proper deadlifting form starting out with just the bar. Deadlifting is the single best exercise for a woman’s rear-end in the world, hands down. (Jessica Alba does it) And who doesn’t want a cuter butt?

  1. She can do every exercise you to. As a swimmer you probably have a pretty balanced program. Don’t let her cop out on exercises with excuses like “I don’t want my traps to get big” because they won’t.

  2. Don’t force it, training a significant other can be hard. Think about hiring a good personal trainer that will give her a good intro to (real) weight lifting (none of the exercise ball and pink dumbbell crap). It might make more of an impact hearing these things from a fit female who teaches people these things for a living.

I know it’s long but I hope it helps! Good luck!

Just 'nuther thought: is she wanting to get stronger, or just you wanting her to? Because if she doesn’t REALLY want it, it’s not going to happen. She could go through all the motions, but if the desire isn’t there, well…


haha thanks alot:) she did squats these days to develop her ass and legs. she loves it:)