T Nation

Need Help/Advice


Hello all. I need help/advice on a big dilemma I'm in because I really am unsure what to do and do not want to make any rash decisions that will backfire on me in any way.

On Thursday night I had a fight with my gf over the phone and I got really pissed off and hung up on her mid sentence. The following day I called her in the evening a couple of times but no answer. Yesterday I log into my FB account to leave her a message when I see a tagged post from her mother with the following

HELP IN AN ACCIDENT I NEED HELP My daughter and her boyfriend are in serious condition. Please keep them in your prayers

At first I re read the post several times to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me and my original feeling of anguish turned to pure hate. Why the fuck was this dude tagged as her boyfriend and who or what caused this accident. When you're angry and a Hatebreed song happens to be playing in the background it really is enough to make you get in your car, drive to the hospital and lay up the parties involved but luckily I was able to calm down and gather my thoughts and take a non-violent approach to the situation

Since I do not know the details of what transpired and I do not under any circumstances want to see her, the dude she was with or her family until she has recovered, I want to know what I can do to resolve this without adding insult to injury. Advice, comments, criticism,etc are most appreciated and welcome. Thanks.


does she have a sister?


Yes but she's a self proclaimed(and proud) "BBW". I'll let you draw your conclusions.

What really has hurt me the most is that her cunt mother was in it the whole time and yet ironically they believe in respecting other people..smh.


Sorry, not what I was getting at.

Could the mother's post possibly be about the sister?


No. She specifically stated it was her younger daughter, my gf, who was involved in the accident.


He was implying that her sister is not hot while his GF is.


Put away your anger, call her mother, find out where your gf is and go to her. Be there for her now. You can sort out the details later, this is not the time to jump to conclusions.


It'll take a while for my anger to subside but understand that what she and her mother did is not right. Its a serious act of disrespect and I'm not going to forgive them anytime soon.


Wow, really? Your "respect" is worth more than you being there for your girlfriend while she's in "serious condition"? Wow.


Breaking News: Her mother is now sending me threatening messages on Facebook.


Oh? Why? What did you do?


As politically correct as your post is, his anger is justified.. Seeing her might cause more inconvenience in this situation(for her) if he can't keep it together in front of her.


I didn't do anything other than text her to get in contact with me asap. I assume her mother got hold of my message and decided to start making threats over the net for no reason. In any case I'm going to report this to the police. I'm going to teach all of them a hard lesson.


Oh, I agree that his anger is justified. I think I'm more surprised that he's not able to keep it together, and do what I, and I think many people would consider "the right thing", which is to be there for her right now. Control the emotion and do what needs to be done.


All right, I'm out. I can't make any sense of what's going on. Good luck.


I don't even see a reason for you to talk to them at all(especially not insults).

I'm just me, but if I was in your situation, I would be so angry that the only viable outcome would be not ever associating with those people again.

Which means, the sooner you STOP talking to them, whether insults or re-conciliation, the better.

Now... that's not easy..and you'd rather let them know how you feel, or at least put half the pain on them that this situation is inflicting on you.

Good fucking luck big man.


Thanks Claudan and everyone else. I'm going to forget about this whole fuckin mess, plan my training for this upcoming week and call up a few of my PL friends for some drinking.


Is it possible that the mom is just a dumbass?


I unintentionally left out a few details

  1. This dude's name would appear alot(and I mean ALOT) on her facebook statuses, the ones that say "I'm at such and such place with (Insert name here)".

  2. He happens to be her ex-bf and although she has claimed many times they are just "good friends", this same guy has called me a "roid monkey" and "dumbass meathead" without having met me in person. In case you're wondering yes he's a member of PF and a pencil neck.

  3. The majority of her friends are guys because she claims "women are just full of drama"

  4. About 2 weeks ago she went to Orlando with a group of EIGHT GUYS. Now I'm far, far from being insecure or possessive but this just raises a big red flag particularly when they're all sleeping in the same room.


I'm all for trusting a girl... but this just sounds a little off to me. Sounds like you should have left sooner, and/or dug in a little deeper as to what was really going on, honestly.

Trust, but verify, is a pretty good policy with just about anything.

If you can handle it, I'd STILL be there for her while she's in serious condition. And then hit the road after that point.