I've been reading here for awhile and this forum seems to generally good advice so I'm asking for some feedback.
I'm 32 years old. I've done two test E cycles. One when I was about 20 the other last year. The first cycle was 500 mg per week for 8 weeks. No bloodwork or HCG and a high dose PCT. At the time, I didn't think there was any issue with recovery.
The second cycle was 500 for 12 weeks. I ran blood work before and had a test level around 800. I used adex but never got the dose dialed in and spent most of the cycle with high e2. Used HCG at 500iu a week throughout, used test p the last two weeks, took a week off, and then did a 4 week PCT with 50mg of clomid and 40 of nolva tapering down. Since then, blood work shows test around 600.
The problem is, I have no sex drive to speak of and all the usual low T symptoms, low energy, irritability, decreased strength. Thinking back on it, sex drive probably took a dive after the first cycle but it was still there and the change was slow l so I didn't notice. The bloodwork a year ago also revealed I had high E2 before the cycle 42 with a range of 7-42. I've got that under control using adex and the e2 thread in the TRT forum. All my other numbers are good.
So, I'm kinda lost.
Of course, I want to cycle again but it's become obvious I lose a lot each time I do. I don't have a lot going on outside of bodybuilding and I don't want to quit, but one or two more cycles and I'll probably have no choice but TRT or blast and cruise.
I haven't ruled out either of those, but I don't love the idea of being dependent on a needle for the next 40 years. Especially since I know even if my test drops another 200 points getting it from a doctor will be hard.
On the other hand, I feel like shit NOW and wonder whats the point of feeling that way for years before doing something about it.
I don't know, should I just live with it?
My LH is at 5 on a 1.7 - 8.6 scale so it does not seem like a restart would help?