T Nation

Natty on Pennies


#1542

Thats one good week


#1544

I need some advice here lads. I know that you guys aren’t exactly psychologists (really I only recall @planetcybertron) stating an interest in psychology, but you may still be able to give me some advice just from having more experience with life.

So, I’ve always had a very vivid imagination. I can imagine something and pretty much see it in real life. I can visualize things very easily. Here’s the downside; I never really learned how to control it. You know how kids see a horror movie and then they can’t sleep all night because they imagine the things coming for them? That’s me. And that’s exactly why I’m writing this post. Earlier today I saw this picture Antoine Valliant (or however you spell his name) drew in rehab. It was a plaque doctor. He wrote that when I’m drugs street lamps would turn into plaque doctors and look at him. I’m the comments other people reported similar experiences.

Fast forward to 00:30AM; I woke up and went to the bathroom. Now our bathroom has a window behind the actual toilet. (Which is pretty fucked up in itself if you ask me) Now while I’m in there the image pops in my head and my first though is “what if a plaque doctor’s head popped up behind that window?” fucking instant regret. Now when I think that I realize that I don’t actually see it happening but in my mind it is really happening. It’s hard to explain. I immediately ducked down (fortunately I was done with pissing) and my body just switched straight into fight or flight mode. It’s like all of my senses were increased exponentially and I was ready to beat up anything. (Still feeling that). Now getting out of the bathroom was a fucking challenge as I’m my mind the guy was still in the window and I imagined another one being in the hallway if I opened the door. It’s fucked up. I got out of there and got back into the bed and I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes here just listening. I know from experience that I’m not gonna fall asleep for some time now and writing this down is really helping me calm my nerves.

I’m gonna tag you aussies here because you’re probably still awake, if you got any idea of what to do with this, please chime in.
@MarkKO
@simo74
@bigjez
@duketheslaya


#1545

See a doctor. That sounds like a bona fide hallucination so absolutely worth checking out. In the interim, note down exactly what you’ve eaten and drunk in the past 48 hours including any supplements and also anything you’ve been exposed to.


#1546

Got anything more on bona fide hallucinations? Google didn’t really give me much

Nothing out of the ordinary, I think, so that’s an easy one.


#1547

It sounds to me like you have just let your imagination get carried away. I too sometimes image things that make me flinch. It usually involves me having an accident of some sort, like I can see the accident before it happens and when I am watching it I physically flinch from the expected pain. Some calm breathing, in through the nose, hold 1 second and out through the mouth, along with changing your minds focus may help. Close your eyes, Focus on a really good memory or play out your next workout in your head rep for rep whilst deep breathing.
Another option is to give your mind something else to do, build a card tower, draw a picture or do a rubik cube, I would steer away from electrical distractions like phone games but that’s because I’m old school.


#1548

I’ve had similar things happen. I too have an imagination that’s unhinged most of the time. I’d take what mark said with some weight. That could very well be the case, but what you’ve described typically is some sort of phobia/anxiety, but on a rather high level.

I used to take meds for depression, but sometimes it would do a full 180, and I’d get these nasty bouts of anxiety, and at night time I’d have those same visualizations. The apartment I used to stay in didn’t have many windows, but there was this corner in the dining area, and if the lights were low enough to cast shadows, I’d swear up and down something was crouched right there, and I’d either stack up piles of boxes and books, or I’d end up just not going out of my room until the sun came up. This was a few years ago, and now I just say screw it. If it’s there, it’ll just have to get me lol. I still have issues with anxiety, but it usually just comes and goes in the form of my heart racing quickly. I just let it pass.

When I first started dealing with my eating disorder, it would fuel everything else wrong with me mentally at the time. In highschool, it was a bit worse, and it didn’t matter if it was night time or day time, if I thought about it long enough, there was someone or something, somewhere, trying to get me, and I’d often either miss class or not come home from school because I would walk everywhere I went, and I was always frightened.

If you’re okay with meds, maybe get a prescription for anxiety. Ask about SNRIs if you decide you need the help. They aren’t all that different from SSRIs, but the SNs regulate serotonin and norepinephrine, which can help a bit more with that anxious, racing heart feelings.

I’m not an extreme expert, but anxiety has a weird way of sending your serotonin levels into a frenzy. More or less, serotonin also fuels dreaming. I just put one and two together, to come up with reasonable deductions. Even awake your brain can simulate things that aren’t really there, albeit at a lower level, but still enough to freak you out. How vivid stuff seems depends on the individual, stress, lack of sleep, trauma, injuries, mental and emotional attachments, etc, and how well they’re able to cope.

If you think it’s something to be concerned about, perhaps talk to someone. If you realize your brain is just being, your brain, perhaps practice some positive visualization techniques, yoga, therapy (group or one-on-one), create physical and mental safeties (having something to touch that’s important to you, a picture, a blanket, a trinket, or a quiet place, etc).

Hope that helps.


#1549

Bizarre, I’ve had exactly the same things happen and I’ve noted it down too 2 supplements that I take and if 8 ever take them in excess, then it normally worsens them

These 2 pre’s called “stand the fuck up” and ‘purge’
If I double scoop or more either of them, then the sleep that night is usually pretty vivid

I’d take @MarkKO advice and keep note of anything you’re eating and supplementing and go from there man


#1550

That is messed up man, definitely listen to mark’s advice.


#1552

@danteism i can see that you’re typing so I’ll be real quick. My post got deleted 2 times now but could you email me,


#1553

Lived to see another day, man, I’m toast. Still feeling the chills

Could be. The thing is that I know the things I see are not real, but in a way, in my mind they are. At least they are real enough to make me stay up for hours on end just waiting for them to come. I imagine a whole lot of things but they don’t usually seem this real. (As a disclaimer; stuff like this doesn’t happen often, we are talking about once a year or less)

Now that you say it I feel pretty dumb. I was awake until 4:30 in the morning and not once did I think of this.

Thanks for tuning in man

In general I’m a very non-anxious person, as I’ve probably stated before, but of course I could have some kind of phobia or whatnot flying under the radar

Sounds delightful

I don’t need optical illusions to be freaked out but wouldn’t want that either

I try to avoid taking even painkillers, so I’m not exactly inclined to get on meds.

Now this may be a key.

From Science Daily:

The scientists’ current study supports a long-standing hypothesis that hallucinations may arise from the metabolites formed from elevated serotonin levels.

While I did tell Mark that I haven’t had anything out of the ordinary, I forgot that I had extra carbs the day before yesterday and I’ve had to eat all of my carbs in a single meal, late at night during yesterday and the day before. As carbs elevate your serotonin levels it could be that that is the main cause for what happened last night.

Could it be so simple?

Thank you for taking the time to reply

I don’t use any pre-workouts. I did have a cup (which is like half a liter) of coffee before training yesterday as I trained rather late in the evening.

Now that I think of it, there were a whole lot of things that have been different in terms of what I’ve consumed in the past 48 hours.

That’s odd man, you got something the government doesn’t want us to know?


#1554

Haha! I woke up this morning wondering where my post went thinking i might have not posted it. I posted it again and that disappeared too


#1555

I dare say it’s the powers that be (mods)
I’m pretty sure it’s in the guidelines and regulations you can’t post your email addresses
Could be wrong, but knowing that many forums operate under those rules, I wouldn’t rule it out

Not to break the system, but I’ve seen people go like
“Oh yeah email me on j o e dot b l o (at) hot mail dot com” or “message me on ohfour05three9two triple 0” to bypass these


#1556

Bingo, caffeine in those pre’s is like +500mg (which is like 15x a standard cup) which I can double scoop on occasions
Just keep note and see if anything you’re doing is affecting anything


#1557

Yeah fair enough. That’s kind of a silly rule though, if i want to post my email thats my business.

As soon as i post t nation, it automatically gets edited by a mod to T Nation. Its probably like that with emails too. I spaced out the . Com so hopefully that worked


#1558

It’s odd because coffee has never before (I think) caused anything like this for me.

Granted I rarely drink it so late, so it could be a reason


#1559

At least you’ve never seen a post of yours on here disappear before your very eyes :confused:


#1560

Its extremely irritating. What was your post about?


#1561

If I state that now, the forum admins will probably knock at my door in a matter of minutes and I won’t be heard of anymore so I better not risk


#1562

That’s all well and good anywhere else, until it’s posted on our forum which gets the site involved. We’ve had to save people from themselves too often (posting name, home phone numbers, addresses, etc. forgetting that the Internet isn’t always full for kind, caring souls). So it’s simply site policy.

Yes, it would be a good idea to drop it.


#1563

Then how are you meant to reach out to people on this site if you cant give them your email?