T Nation

NAAFA help

What do I do?
I’ve been dieting for over 10 years and haven’t changed my look. My routine looks like this:

Mon: snickers
Tue: M&M’s
Wed: OFF
Thur: MRP
Fri: 2 MRP’s
Sat: Cheat day
Sun: cheat day

What is it that I’m doing wrong?

No matter what, every time I see NAAFA I just can’t help but laugh with disappointment. Oh well, sucks for them.

You’re missing Breyer’s French vanilla, Kit-Kats, and Wendy’s frostys

I think there’s always a day in there specifically for chain-eating double-stuff Oreos.

You need to up your intensity. Try super-setting Ben & Jerry’s ice cream with 4-hour intervals of couch-sitting. If that doesn’t work, sleep more, since you’re probably not recovering enough either.

here is a good tip… as others have mentioned oreos… mush up the oreos into a dirt looking like substance, since veggeis and fruits come from dirt, and fruit and veggies are healthy therefore dirt is healthy, and since mushed up oreos look like dirt they are also healthy. Here’s a neat tip… put some dirt into ice cream… mmm… delish!

Damn, you guys are missing some serious fiber in them diets. How about throwing Cinnabons in the mix? And you know, what about when you’re ready for some “culture” - so for a Asian flare, might I suggest Tempura Ice Cream with a nice heaping dose of Chocolate Sauce. And you can’t forget veggies: Onion Rings with ketchup (that is considered a “vegetable” y’know). And for fruit, them Hostess Fruit Pies are quite handy.

Let me add: while I'm poking fun here, I'm quite saddened by NAAFA. Quite. Them people are missing out on LIFE. :-(

I think it is about time that we just leave the NAAFA folks alone. They don’t want to be helped, so why does anyone here care. I am sure they have had enough teasing.

Day 1: Eat deep-fried Crisco on a stick HIT style to failure. Day 2: fill face with potato chips or some other salty snack & whole blocks of cream cheese, straight up. Day 3: hang out in bingo hall with other fat fucks & drink CocaCola nonstop & inhaling yummy cig smoke. This routine added sooo many inches to my bod, my waist went up 16", this routine will make you huge! Post-workout have a pan of brownies, a garbage bag of popcorn & wash it down with more Coke. The 3 days per week that you train are the only important ones, so only these days must be followed closely. The rest are cheat days where you can eat whatever you want.

I often joke at my house that chocolate and vanilla (in whatever form) can be considered a serving of vegetable. Consider this: What are the natural forms of these flavors? BEANS! Vanilla bean. Cocoa bean. Therefore, chocolate ice cream is both dairy AND vegetable.