T Nation


Okay here goes. I was in a relationship for 3 months. The romantic part ended about 2 months ago as she moved to NYC and me to Florida (job related). At any rate we decided that we would stay friends and keep the lines of communication open. Even though she travels alot we have been e-mailing or calling each other about once a week. Now something has happened but I don’t know why. About 3 weeks ago everything was going just fine. She (Jessica) had e-mailed me and called me within the span of 3 days. Then about 5:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning I heard a cell phone ring (my two roommates also have cell phones). I didn’t go out to the room to pick it up because I never thought it would be for me. When I got up at 10:00 a.m. I saw that I had a missed call on my cell phone. Lo and behold it was from Jessica at 5:20 a.m. I expected to hear a drunk message and get a good laugh. It was nothing of the sort. Instead she explained that she was in a scarry park by herself somewhere in NYC and she said “…I just wanted to talk to you in case something happened you would know what happened, bye.” I immediately called and left a message saying that I was sorry I wasn’t there to pick up the phone but I wanted her to call me so that I would know that she was okay. I also told her that I really missed her. By 8:00 p.m. that night I had not heard from her so I called her again and left another message. The next day I didn’t hear from her or call. Now it’s Monday and I’m on the road headed home for the holiday. I decided to give her another call. I told her that this was the 3rd message that I’ve left and that I was really worried about her so, “please call me”. Tuesday, nothing. So now I decided to call her parents. within 2 days I called 3 times and all I got was the answering machine. I did not leave a message. So now I’m really worried thinking her parents are in NYC since I can’t seem to get in contact with them or hear from Jessica. Finally the next day I got a hold of her mother. I never mentioned anything about the message Jessica left me because I did not want to alarm her. Her mother was very cheery and looking forward to seeing her daughter for the holiday. Now this is 5 days after I got Jessica’s message. So I assumed that if something had happened her parents would have known by now. So now I’m wondering why she never bothered to return any of my phone calls. Part of me just says - fuck that rude inconsiderate bitch and the other part is completely baffled and truly mystified. I don’t see any reason to call her again. I mean what the hell would a 4th message do that a third hasn’t? I have thought about e-mailing and just asking her why she won’t talk to me. Like I said everything was going just fine until I recieved her message. Now something has obviously changed and I don’t have a fucking clue as to why. Does anyone have any insights as to what could be going on? Thank you for your time.

Maybe she got mugged and murdered. Boy, that would make you an asshole.

How the heck do you know she’s OK? Maybe her parents haven’t tried to speak to her in the past 5 days and therefore aren’t aware of her absence? Not to be a pessimist or anything, but your question about her whereabouts is still unanswered.

Mate I would check that she was ok first,and if she is and can give you no good explanation as to why she did not return your calls,then I would say whatever you had was now over.

Learn to use paragraphs.

First of all, call the parents back and specifically ask if they’ve heard from their daughter since the night she called you. You don’t have to give all the details, but just say you want to make sure that she’s ok.

Second of all, she may just be trying to be dramatic. You all ‘had something,’ and maybe she’s trying to pull strings and elicit a reaction from you. Maybe she wants to ‘prove’ that you still care. If it’s a game, play it until you find out she’s fine. Once you do, if she doesn’t have a legitimate excuse (and there really isn’t one at this point), cut her out of your life. Simple.

Anything that anyone says to you is just pure speculation. That’s a tough situation and I would be extemely disturbed by it too if I was in your place and she was someone I liked. If you’re that concerned maybe you can call the police in the area and ask if they know anything?

Dude your suspect #1.

so what happened? is she ok?

It’s our turn to be mystified…

I would go ahead and scare her parents first. Then if they confirm she is alive. Move on. If there is a real problem, they need to know. After all they are more important than you are when it come to their daughter.