T Nation

Mystified Part 2

Okay, first I’d like to thank everyone who actually read through my jibberish the first time around. So here is part 2. Last Friday - almost 3weeks to the day of the original phone call- I get a call from Jessica. I should’ve let the voicemail recieve the message and called her back after I had time to gather my thoughts and put them down succinctly. However, I was caught off gaurd and picked up the phone. Basically it went like this. She said she was sorry for not calling back but that she was soooooo busy. She said she’s been flying around all over the place for her job and she hasn’t had the time to pay bills(losing her e-mail) or even return her parents phone calls (Of course she didn’t call her parents at 5:20 a.m. telling them how scarred she was being in NYC all by herself, either.) So, she was too busy that she couldn’t have called and left a one minute message letting me know she was okay, c’mon! She kept saying pleeeaaassssse, please don’t be mad. Y’know the thing that bothered me about her apology was the tone in her voice. She sounded like a teenage girl who was begging her father for the keys to the car. Almost as if it was expected of me to cave in and forget about the whole thing like it never happened. I gave her the impression that I wasn’t sure I’d accept what she had to offer and she sounded as if she was a little mad about it. She said, “Well you have my number if you want to talk to me”. The whole conversation lasted less than 5 minutes and I didn’t say that much. Half of me wants to call her back and tell her what I thought of her lame excuse and the even more lame apology. The other half just says fuck her and never call her again. I don’t want to come off as being too harsh but then again I don’t want to be a doormat either. Any comments?

I was wondering what was happening. Ive heard the ‘teenage voice’ from girl friends before, and can only associate it with bad things.I dont really think your being too harsh, one minute out of 3 weeks seems a tad doable to me. You may want to ask her that if your the one she phoned up at 5 in the morning, why she let you worry for 3 weeks after that. When did she get your messages? I hope it all works out for you.

You need this girl in your life like a moose needs a hatrack.

If she’s worth your time at all she should be calling you all the time in attempt to make up for all the bullshit, not waiting for you to call her. She sounds a bit immature to me. Drop 'er.

My opinion, she is running a game on you. Trying to find out how much you care, what lengths you would go to ensure her safety. Seems like allot of head playing there to me. Only you know if it’s worth all that or not.

Play the game, then nail her. Then never speak to her again…That ought to learn her…otherwise she is a complete waste of time. She was busy fucking around with some other guy and when that did not work out she fell back on you…

Well I’m glad to read the final installment on this little mystery. I didn’t post before because, like you, I was mystified. Now it seems pretty clear–she’s mind-fucking you buddy. Take it from a chick, she’s playing games to see how much you caaaaaaaare. End the game and drop her.

Ditto to the rest - let her fuck off, or fuck her off. Either way she’s not worth the dime or time to deal with (seeing as neither are you in her book).

Well finally a conclusion to all this. I respect what Karma say and what the rest of the folks have posted. But if I remember correctly you said the relationship went back to a friendship right? So why be so pissed over it. She is safe fine and you two are just “friends”. Anyway take it with stride don’t stress over it and also don’t call her for now. Let her call you first and when she asks why she hasn’t heard from you in a long time, just tell her you been busy and haven’t had time to contact her.

Everytime I read your posts (when the topic is about relationships), you sound so angry at women in general. What you write makes me laugh, but what happened in your life to make you feel this way?

Don't get me wrong, I do agree with the majority of your posts, and have my fair share of women pet peeves, but some of what you say is brutal.

Forget about her. She’s obviously not willing to put as much thought/time into the relationship as you are, and that kind of imbalance is a recipe for disaster.

Move on.

How do you spell W-H-A-C-K-O?

Not worth your time. Pat’s strategy is a LOT of fun, I’ve done it before myself in situations like this, but it sounds like you still have some feelings for her, or just aren’t a jerk like myself; you’ld probably end up feeling really bad about it, so forget her number fast.

I cant speak for pat, but the reason why I take that particular attitude is based on past experience of being a doormat, or getting led on for many, many months combined (which I actually discovered 2 weeks ago today). I think a lot of women dont believe that guys actually have feelings, that not all of us are simply in it for the sex. I don’t have fallback friends, and I’d rather not be yours. I don’t say things I don’t mean, or say one thing and expect another. I’m not even trying to play the “game”, it’s not worth the hastle any more. Nothing personal against the women on this forum, I love my mom, I love my sister, but the female species as a whole can go to hell. There’s way too much on my plate right now for me to dwell on the tone of a girl’s voice, and I wish I’d realized that sooner. Awfully jaded for a 20 year old right?

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their opinions on the matter. I’ve decided never to call her again.

Keep us all posted if anything turns up.