My Year In Jail

[quote]JaX Un wrote:

[quote]Quick Ben wrote:
Meh, I watched a couple of seasons of The Wire. Surely that must have been an accurate portrayal of crime and punishment in Philadelphia. lol[/quote]

baltimore[/quote]

Seriously? Ok Baltimore then. Same same but different.

[quote]therajraj wrote:
What were you in for brah?[/quote]

1.) 2009 cop called me up and told me to stop being newbatman.
2.) I said no.
3.) She framed me.

The thread link in the topic post explains.

YO ERASMUS. GLAD TO BE BACK. HOPE EVERYONE MADE PROGRESS THIS YEAR.

1.) What were you in for?

formal charges were harassment by communications and stalking

2.) How has that year shaped YOU?

we were supposed to go to the weight room 90 minutes once a week however this would frequently get canceled because inmate count would not clear in time (or at all…Google: “10/12/10” “escape” “Curran-Fromhold Correctional Facility”) or something else would go wrong like inmates would be ordered locked in on a loud speaker because they had a stabbing or fight elsewhere or the dreaded “shake down” where they tore our cells up and strip searched us looking for drugs and weapons or the lieutenant in charge of your block or building would be lazy and not want to run weight room for your housing area’s day…so you had to pick your exercises…


so ERASMUS: what would you choose?

90 minutes of weights

3 times a month

40 sessions total


My workout ended up being split jerk then dead lift almost every time.

All the body weight stuff did much less (yes I would do 150 pull ups a day sometimes hanging off the top tier on the block when our cells were opened for recreation or 600 dips but this did less than the 40 sessions of heavy weight exposure).

3.) Can you describe the general atmosphere in prison?

It was like nazis and jews treatment from the guards. And the other inmates were extremely racist towards whites (I am mostly slavic). There were tons a drugs and weapons. Guards smuggle in what ever you want for ridiculous prices. Steroids are every where upstate my friends said.

4.) How do inmates interact, is there a lot of violence?

Weapons are made from 6 inch bolts pulled out of light and sharpened. Stabbings and fights go almost unpunished so they are part of your week.

I had to physically defend myself about 10 times and people tried to stab me 3 times and I got away twice only. But I was threatened and everyone was almost weekly.

But your day was much like basketball camp otherwise. One to 4 times a day if everything went well you would sleep, eat, come out and play basketball (we had a little court yard in every housing area).

So it was like basketball camp when you were little…except the other campers stab you.

I went to camp as a kid (not basketball camp but we did other sports) and the other kids were stabbin’ each other. I heard a few years after I stopped going (was a yearly thing) they stopped giving out swiss army knives.

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
In “Check Yo Self” Ice Cube details things you should avoid; one of them being going to jail. He point-blank iterates “big dicks in your ass is bad for your health.” Did you learn this the ‘hard’ way or did paranoia for this kind of thing make you that much more aware and vigilant so you were able to avoid being donked? [/quote]

Homo stuff is much more prevalent upstate (I was in county…county is people awaiting trial like me or people serving sentences below 2 years).

BUT we would have people that became homos upstate and/or rapists.

I had 82 different cell mates in 2, 3, or 4 man cells over the time and I can say that I got detailed descriptions of upstate life from people that were doing 40 to 80 years or life I also got my fair share of unwanted interest and schemers:

  • if you start arguments and treat people poorly you risk rape 900% more
  • if you stay out in the open you decrease chances (don’t be stupid and let someone sneak up to your cell when its open and close it behind him with 3 of his fart stopper friends that you know is a booty bandit who has been checking you out
  • request a cell change if you are weary of your cell mate
  • in the old prisons they have dangerous group shower situations and you have to be weary of being out numbered and secluded of course

but personally I was blessed with being big and strong with tons of mix martial arts training and it scared most schemers away (most)…but if you were small and upstate you would constantly have to look over your shoulder and stay around your friends at all times…you make friends by the way and friends will protect you time and time again…best friend Jesus protected many…

[quote]byukid wrote:
Dude, can you write a book? I’d read that.[/quote]

recovering now…

I have some amazing stories though…

like when the guards were stealing my prescription protein shakes and when I reported them they sent someone who is currently serving life after me to stab me and they stood around watching and laughing for abut 5 minutes (at least 8 guards) while I weaved in and out of other inmates and tables and chairs and up and down steps trying to get away and then finally had to engage him when he caught up to me…

guards just watch stabbings and fights and just wait for them to stop and even buzz cells open to let people into your cell to stab you if they don’t like you…

[quote]bud moody wrote:
i’d love to hear how it changed your views on the necessities of training and diet![/quote]

weights are king…heavy weights…no substitute…

[quote]Edevus wrote:
How are the first days? [/quote]

shock…trying to get used to being in a room the size of a closet:

10pm to 8am

10:30am to 1pm

5:30pm to 8pm

and usually the rec times we were supposed to be out of our cells would get wrecked

[quote]SeanParent wrote:
Hows your ass feel? Did it help wit your flexability with your squats?[/quote]

fart stoppers aren’t as much of a problem in county…

but Jesus would protect me from rape anywhere…

thanks for your concern…

Jesus protection? What was it, religious gang bangers???

[quote]kaisermetal wrote:
did you think getting shanked made a difference on your weight cut?[/quote]

I almost was stabbed 3 times…Jesus protected me…stabbings and fights almost go unpunished or with a slap on the wrist…its part of your day…not a week goes by without violence being threatened to every person there at least once…

I did have to fight someone who had a knife once and I had to to fight about 10 times…

I hate violence more than anyone but if your cell mate is the average inmate he thinks that its honorable to fight and he can just attack you to show off for friends and you will not have permanent damage to your relationship…

Why did you refer to jail in the thread title when you said you spent a year in prison? They are not the same.

So how was it being stabbed?

You said people tried to stab you 3 times but got away twice, what did you do to merit a stabbing attempt? Clearly you broke some rule.

Tell me batman, did you ever reach across another man’s tray when eating in the day room or chow hall?

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:
How many guys in the yard were better than MJ? 15? 30? [/quote]

I was the only person dunking in games on almost every housing area…they were uneducated about diet and training…and just not very good athletes in general…

(reminds me: they were mostly scared of me because I would split jerk 225 for reps…they never even saw split jerk and were terrified that I could do 225 easily)

ignorant athletes = bad athletes = inmates

[quote]MaximusB wrote:
Looks like your parole was revocated brah.[/quote]

my parole was “revocated”?

never had parole…still in trial now actually…

[quote]MaximusB wrote:
Why did you refer to jail in the thread title when you said you spent a year in prison? They are not the same.

So how was it being stabbed?

You said people tried to stab you 3 times but got away twice, what did you do to merit a stabbing attempt? Clearly you broke some rule.

Tell me batman, did you ever reach across another man’s tray when eating in the day room or chow hall?[/quote]

wrong, wrong, and wrong…

go some where else…

I’m still not sure about the whole jesus protection thing…

[quote]newbatman wrote:

  • if you start arguments and treat people poorly you risk rape 900% more

[/quote]

… SOOOO you got your shit pushed in 9 times for talking shit?

And lol @ “Maximum security prison”, trying to sound hardcore.

[quote]solidkhalid wrote:
I’m still not sure about the whole jesus protection thing…[/quote]

No, you don’t understand. It was a Mexican dude named Jesus (HAY-SOOS).

Shenanigans.