T Nation

My Wife Tried to Murder Me

So we Tivo’d the Ultimate Fighter finale Saturday night, as I was working and didn’t want to miss it.

We were watching it yesterday and, after the second fight - which was one of the best fights I’ve ever seen - We were play rasslin(Texanese for wrestling) on the floor.

I was laying on my back on top of my wife, who was on her back as well. She locked her legs around me pushed down, while at the same time pulling up on my torso with a choke hold.

I couldn’t freakin breath, and…well…she’s real strong and I couldn’t get out. She almost choked me down.

Now I can’t swallow, and the cops have hauled her bully-ass to the county lock-up.

This is why I don’t rassle.

sounds like you’d better hurry up with your little project, Bro…
or just keep hidin’ in the outhouse.
:wink:

did that bodagget ruin your life?

Sounds freaky…the whole choking thing reminds me a little bit of Mack in Super Troopers with the lady on the bulletin board.

Tucker

[quote]rainjack wrote:
So we Tivo’d the Ultimate Fighter finale Saturday night, as I was working and didn’t want to miss it.

We were watching it yesterday and, after the second fight - which was one of the best fights I’ve ever seen - We were play rasslin(Texanese for wrestling) on the floor.

I was laying on my back on top of my wife, who was on her back as well. She locked her legs around me pushed down, while at the same time pulling up on my torso with a choke hold.

I couldn’t freakin breath, and…well…she’s real strong and I couldn’t get out. She almost choked me down.

Now I can’t swallow, and the cops have hauled her bully-ass to the county lock-up.

This is why I don’t rassle.[/quote]

That some funny stuff RJ. Well…not funny for you I guess. :slight_smile:

My wife and I will do the same…however, she gets all pissy with me…“you don’t know your strength…you’re hurting me” blah-blah-blah. I tell her there can only be one Alpha in the pack. Then I’ll get a slug in the arm. She’s great…

That was a great fight by the way. I was surprised how quickly Shamrock went out. I guess it’s time for the young guns.

Will you be watching Liddell vs. Couture this Saturday?

[quote]rainjack wrote:
So we Tivo’d the Ultimate Fighter finale Saturday night, as I was working and didn’t want to miss it.

We were watching it yesterday and, after the second fight - which was one of the best fights I’ve ever seen - We were play rasslin(Texanese for wrestling) on the floor.

I was laying on my back on top of my wife, who was on her back as well. She locked her legs around me pushed down, while at the same time pulling up on my torso with a choke hold.

I couldn’t freakin breath, and…well…she’s real strong and I couldn’t get out. She almost choked me down.

Now I can’t swallow, and the cops have hauled her bully-ass to the county lock-up.

This is why I don’t rassle.[/quote]

BAHAHAHAHAHA, Sike. That made me laugh.

[quote]IronRaider wrote:
That was a great fight by the way. I was surprised how quickly Shamrock went out. I guess it’s time for the young guns.

Will you be watching Liddell vs. Couture this Saturday? [/quote]

The Shamrock fight just made me sad for Ken. And he looked ready to throw down, too - just couldn’t keep his feet under him.

I think the Liddell/Couture fight will e the perfect way to celebrate making it through tax-season. But I don’t think I’ll be watching it with my wife.

Hey RJ, PM me your address…I wanna send your wife some flowers or something!

:wink:

If my memory of Texas common law is correct, when they take your wife after a “fight” its because the husband is legally dead…technically speaking.

[quote]mertdawg wrote:
If my memory of Texas common law is correct, when they take your wife after a “fight” its because the husband is legally dead…technically speaking.[/quote]

the head
is dead
but the heart
keeps beating

[quote]rainjack wrote:
So we Tivo’d the Ultimate Fighter finale Saturday night, as I was working and didn’t want to miss it.

We were watching it yesterday and, after the second fight - which was one of the best fights I’ve ever seen - We were play rasslin(Texanese for wrestling) on the floor.

I was laying on my back on top of my wife, who was on her back as well. She locked her legs around me pushed down, while at the same time pulling up on my torso with a choke hold.

I couldn’t freakin breath, and…well…she’s real strong and I couldn’t get out. She almost choked me down.

Now I can’t swallow, and the cops have hauled her bully-ass to the county lock-up.

This is why I don’t rassle.[/quote]

You Panhandle boys are such pussies.

Hell thats foreplay with a women down here.

Just admit it. You really live in Oklahoma

[quote]danreeves1973 wrote:

You Panhandle boys are such pussies.

Hell thats foreplay with a women down here.

Just admit it. You really live in Oklahoma
[/quote]

yeah if her name’s bessie. bulldoggin heiffers don’t count as foreplay dan. :wink:

Classic wrestling move. You got owned!

Don’t feel bad though, you get into a bad position like that and someone of any strength will chcke you out.

You should of gave her the SHOCKER! :slight_smile:

Funny, she never chokes me when we wrestle, but I usually do pass out afterwards.

Anyway next time punch her in the face. Win the fight straight out that way. Then celebrate by drinking a beer outside your trailer.

I wonder how Ken would have done had he not fallen. Once he went down, he lost it. I saw no attempt at any defense, almost like he was in shock or something about falling.

I would seriously consider training for something like the UFC, if I didn’t hate getting punched so much.