T Nation

My View About My Life

Hello. I am 19 years old and I wanted to tell you my situation.
I have been feeling restless, very agitated, constantly in tension. I have stupid thoughts and im like beating someone all the time. I don’t know what causes this feeling, but it’s permanent.
Emotionally, im with my girlfriend for a month, we get along pretty well. What bothers me though is that I don’t fully trust her and that sometimes I feel her distance. I care about her a lot.
Professionally, I work 8 hours a day. Honestly, I don’t like what I do, but it’s a job during the summer, until college starts.
In terms of sports, I go to the gym 3-4 times a week, I train intensely and I am satisfied with the results.
I keep thinking about making money and taking everything to the extreme.
Any thought splits it into 4 and I interpret. I don’t want to lose my girlfriend because of my nonsense. I think she s too important and I depend too much on her. In February she will go to Italy with the college for 4 months and this worries me.
I don’t necessarily have the best relationship with my family.
I don’t have medication, I take natural plants.
I drink alcohol occasionally, maybe once a week some beer.
Less drugs, I rarely smoke.
It’s like it’s all about my relationship. That’s all I see.
I don’t want to become obsessed or stressful, but I can’t channel myself into anything else.
As hobbies, apart from the gym and listening to music, I don’t find myself in anything.
I dont know why i feel like if im in relationship, my life is over.

One more thing, what advice do you have for improving sex? I have libido, but we are pretty horny and I have moments when I finish quickly. :)) It hasn’t happened to me before. I’m afraid she’s unhappy with me and she’s leaving. In the past, I have not had problems like, on the contrary, I was praised :)).

What can I do to improve my situation?
A good day to all.

Don’t use this word at 19 mate. If you don’t have friends that you can discuss your inner emotional workings with seek therapy (and if you do have friends that you can discuss your inner emotional workings with supplement that with: therapy)

This is more or less the nature of teen relationships. Try and ride it out, and learn to manage your emotions. Don’t become a jealous boyfriend,

Whatever parter you have, whether it’s this person or someone else, try and live life symbiotically and grow together as people.

Distance is a good thing, treasure it.

It’s only been a month. I don’t feel like trusting someone completely after such a short time is advisable. That said, what do you mean? Trust her to live her life and be a good enough person that if your relationship dynamic needs changing she’ll tell you.

Have sex again later, and enjoy it every time. Don’t worry too much about when you finish. Learn to give her pleasure in more ways than one so that even if you finish quickly she gets to finish content as well.

Continue searching, maybe. Most adults, as life becomes more than what it is during the teenage years don’t really have the time to maintain that many hobbies at once. Have you tried playing an instrument? Creating something? Reading something? Writing something? Explore other physical hobbies (I like climbing myself, and rollerblades, and recently bought a skateboard).

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First, be careful having sex. You and your girlfriend both have shit to do and you don’t want to fuck that up.

That being said, regarding lasting, just do a lot of sex play that’s fun for both of you. Don’t just dive right into boning.

For hobbies, what would you be doing if you weren’t with your girl? You didn’t mention any cool hobbies that your not doing so I have the impression you’d just be working this summer before college (which is okay). Isn’t college starting any day now?

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Thank u for answer.
I dont know exactly what i want, im really bored about my life and its all a routine.
My job eats all day time.

I feel really old, u know. :smile:
What i mean is that nothing can change me or make me smile.
I know, it s all in my head, but still i dont know how to escape from here.

It’s ok dude. I was 19 till I was like, 35.

Now at 48 I’m about 75.

Don’t rush the world. Time has a way of catching up on you.

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This is brilliant.

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I agree. But I’m still 17 at 55 so what does that mean?

Wow, heavy stuff. Keep in mind that regular maintenance on your car is essential to its longevity and keeps it dependable.
Make sure that you set up a schedule that you can adhere to.
Remember how important it can be.
My $.02

It sounds like you’ve not found what really motivates you yet. Might be why you feel old (unmotivated) and like you can’t change.

There’s many ways to tackle this, a simple method is to sit down and draw, or write, what a good life would look like in five years. Include things about how you’ll be as a person in this, not just rich, big house etc. There will be some elements in that which can become your big goals. Break them down into smaller week, month, year goals and create a plan. But don’t beat yourself up if you muck up. Learn from it and reset instead.

There’s other ways like therapy, finding a coach/mentor. A bit of this is finding what works for you in helping you find what works for you.

Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. I’m 19 too and can relate to how you’re feeling about life. My mom calls me granny sometimes lol :sweat_smile:

As others have mentioned, start or find something new once you’re back in school and don’t have to spend all day working. I felt this way for most of the summer, then I started harder classes and a new research project and as if by magic, all the boredom/depression disappeared

As for feeling old, I say embrace it! For me, it’s been nothing but an advantage as it prevents me from getting into a lot of potentially disastrous situations or make regrettable decisions when compromised

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I heard an idea recently that resonated with me that essentially passion follows hard work, not the other way round. It seems to fit well with my own experience too, that real passion for something often comes after a prolonged spell of hard work in that area.

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I’ve found this to be true too. In the fabrication stuff I’ve done it started out like everything else, hard. Grinding, setting up equipment, everything was just difficult. Then you get better at it, and it’s still hard, but not as ugly. Then it’s cake. Then I’m looking at drawings and going “oh, this is gonna be awesome!” while the new guy is over in the corner about to cry, trying to collect himself and getting ready to either quit or try again.

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Do it more often and get it out of your system. Unless you have some other sort of issue, it’s mostly if you don’t have sex for a while or not regularly that it will happen.

I can see that, I found my career through several small changes and hard work. Success builds confidence and motivation.

But I think if the role is completely unsuitable and the only progression is not any better for you then finding something else can help. A change is as good as a holiday.

Not disagreeing with you at all. I say it more as a suggestion than a dogmatic statement.

Get older. What you are experiencing is perfectly normal for a 19 year old.

Every man here experienced it.

Just don’t do anything stupid, work hard, and bide your time. And it will go away. (Actually, the energy that is now rage and ambition will be channeled into something useful, so it won’t really go away. But it will be different. And also useful.)

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I believe this stems from a lack of confidence in your ability to handle yourself, and the absence of truly uncomfortable (IE far past your limits) physical tests in your daily life. If the idea of it doesn’t scare you just a little, then it’s not far enough past your limits to scratch this itch IME.

My solution: Start training in a martial art. I am biased towards jiu jitsu, but wrestling, judo, muay thai, or boxing would also fit the bill. You won’t feel like beating the shit out of everyone you encounter when you know, and I mean really KNOW, that it would basically be like fighting a child. You will also be tested regularly in all of these disciplines. I prefer BJJ simply because a failed test (and there will be hundreds of them) is less likely to leave you with a scrambled noggin.