My UFO Encounter

When I was 19 years old I had moved to Virginia and while walking through a wooded area behind our house I saw a pale blue light shining just above the tree line. There was no noise at all. As soon as I recognized that it wasn’t something should been there I begun quickly walking back towards the house. The last thing I remember is being in a kind of light blue fog or haze. But it is just faint memory.

After that I found myself lying next to a tree that I had put a deer stand in the month before. I had pain in my left forearm and the inside of it was red and swolen. I imediately went home.

A few months later I started getting these really bad headaches and weird dreams about aliens and UFOs and stuff. One night there was some tom cats fighting outside and I felt a sudden urge kill. I ran outside in a sweat and grabbed one of the cats that had it’s back to me and was fighting another one by the trash cans. The cat twisted around and started clawing at my arm. There was blood all over my arm and I could see lots of gashes. My neighbor who is a nurse came and started washing my arm. When she washed all tblood of there was no gashes anymroe and it had all healed by itself!!!

Nothing happened for a while but then last night what looked like small silver colored slivers of metal started working their way out of the skin on that same forearm. The same way wood splinters would do. I was really scared before but even more scared now this happened. I wasn’t sure I really believed in UFOs but now I no its true! What should I do?

Most cats are aliens and this one helped save you from abduction. It didn’t want you to be taken away.

[quote]turtledove wrote:
What should I do?[/quote]

You should put up an avatar of yourself. I need new gif material and you’re pretty much ticking all my criterial boxes. :slight_smile:

Pretty sure you’re Wolverine…

Did they probe Uranus?

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Did they probe Uranus?[/quote]

Who knows but they probably stuck things up his ass.

Everybody knows aliens always administer the anal probe. Always.

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Everybody knows aliens always administer the anal probe. Always.[/quote]

That’s what I don’t get.

The way I see it, the technology required for faster-than-light travel is so incredibly advanced compared to anything we have, and yet our medical technology is so far ahead of theirs???

Leaving aside the question of why they are so interested in the human bowel, you would think they would at least have decent enough medical imaging technology to do a virtual colonscopy!

I’d like act as an ambassador and propose a technology exchange. One of their warp drives for one of our 20-year-old CT scanners.

No they didn’t put anything in my ass! Which is good! But I read all about how other people have been found with implants in there arms or legs. This thing is really worrying me cause I can see all the metal under my skin under my arm! AND THAT ARM IS GETTING BIGGER THAN THE OTHER ONE EVNE THOUGH I LIFT THE SAME!!!

I now tjis sounds crazy but I feel like sometimes I could fly! The other day I was standing on the edge of a 12 story building and I knew that if I jumped of I could fly! I didn’t do it though because there were people could of seen.

[quote]BobParr wrote:

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Everybody knows aliens always administer the anal probe. Always.[/quote]

That’s what I don’t get.

The way I see it, the technology required for faster-than-light travel is so incredibly advanced compared to anything we have, and yet our medical technology is so far ahead of theirs???

Leaving aside the question of why they are so interested in the human bowel, you would think they would at least have decent enough medical imaging technology to do a virtual colonscopy!

I’d like act as an ambassador and propose a technology exchange. One of their warp drives for one of our 20-year-old CT scanners.[/quote]

This is assuming, of course, that they’re not just perverts and are sticking things in poopers cause they find it funny…

[quote]turtledove wrote:

No they didn’t put anything in my ass! Which is good! But I read all about how other people have been found with implants in there arms or legs. This thing is really worrying me cause I can see all the metal under my skin under my arm! AND THAT ARM IS GETTING BIGGER THAN THE OTHER ONE EVNE THOUGH I LIFT THE SAME!!!

I now tjis sounds crazy but I feel like sometimes I could fly! The other day I was standing on the edge of a 12 story building and I knew that if I jumped of I could fly! I didn’t do it though because there were people could of seen.[/quote]

I would love to see a picture of this arm. =)

and lol @ sounding crazy cause you think you can fly. As if everything else you’ve written sounds sane.

[quote]Stern wrote:

This is assuming, of course, that they’re not just perverts and are sticking things in poopers cause they find it funny…

[/quote]

Even aliens have a sense of humor.

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:

[quote]Stern wrote:

This is assuming, of course, that they’re not just perverts and are sticking things in poopers cause they find it funny…

[/quote]

Even aliens have a sense of humor.[/quote]

Spending years ripping through the galaxies - they’d have to! ^^

[quote]turtledove wrote:

I now tjis sounds crazy but I feel like sometimes I could fly! The other day I was standing on the edge of a 12 story building and I knew that if I jumped of I could fly! I didn’t do it though because there were people could of seen.[/quote]

If you think you can fly there’s no need to start from the top of a building is there? Just start from the ground like Superman.

Y’know…just in case.

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]turtledove wrote:

I now tjis sounds crazy but I feel like sometimes I could fly! The other day I was standing on the edge of a 12 story building and I knew that if I jumped of I could fly! I didn’t do it though because there were people could of seen.[/quote]

If you think you can fly there’s no need to start from the top of a building is there? Just start from the ground like Superman.

Y’know…just in case.[/quote]

lol no because I would only try it if it was my life was in danger or something anyway. Anyway Ive always had psycic powers and now I no it has something to do with the implant like they new I was special so they put the implant in me or something. Sometimes at night when its really quiet I can here alien voices coming from inside me cause I thibk there transmitting them to the implant and that why my right arm gets bigger and stronger faster more than the left one. I know that sounds crazy but I was reading that implants and UFOs and everything and it says all about how they put implants in so many people and now there got these powers and there changing into half aliens hald humans with mutant powers and its just like what happened to me only I already had powers before to!

[quote]turtledove wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]turtledove wrote:

I now tjis sounds crazy but I feel like sometimes I could fly! The other day I was standing on the edge of a 12 story building and I knew that if I jumped of I could fly! I didn’t do it though because there were people could of seen.[/quote]

If you think you can fly there’s no need to start from the top of a building is there? Just start from the ground like Superman.

Y’know…just in case.[/quote]

lol no because I would only try it if it was my life was in danger or something anyway. Anyway Ive always had psycic powers and now I no it has something to do with the implant like they new I was special so they put the implant in me or something. Sometimes at night when its really quiet I can here alien voices coming from inside me cause I thibk there transmitting them to the implant and that why my right arm gets bigger and stronger faster more than the left one. I know that sounds crazy but I was reading that implants and UFOs and everything and it says all about how they put implants in so many people and now there got these powers and there changing into half aliens hald humans with mutant powers and its just like what happened to me only I already had powers before to![/quote]

Wowo man, use punctuation! I hate it when people don’t use punctuation!

[quote]Stern wrote:

[quote]BobParr wrote:

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Everybody knows aliens always administer the anal probe. Always.[/quote]

That’s what I don’t get.

The way I see it, the technology required for faster-than-light travel is so incredibly advanced compared to anything we have, and yet our medical technology is so far ahead of theirs???

Leaving aside the question of why they are so interested in the human bowel, you would think they would at least have decent enough medical imaging technology to do a virtual colonscopy!

I’d like act as an ambassador and propose a technology exchange. One of their warp drives for one of our 20-year-old CT scanners.[/quote]

This is assuming, of course, that they’re not just perverts and are sticking things in poopers cause they find it funny…

[/quote]

The really funny ones do the anal probe, THEN use the same probe for oral probe…

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]Stern wrote:

[quote]BobParr wrote:

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Everybody knows aliens always administer the anal probe. Always.[/quote]

That’s what I don’t get.

The way I see it, the technology required for faster-than-light travel is so incredibly advanced compared to anything we have, and yet our medical technology is so far ahead of theirs???

Leaving aside the question of why they are so interested in the human bowel, you would think they would at least have decent enough medical imaging technology to do a virtual colonscopy!

I’d like act as an ambassador and propose a technology exchange. One of their warp drives for one of our 20-year-old CT scanners.[/quote]

This is assuming, of course, that they’re not just perverts and are sticking things in poopers cause they find it funny…

[/quote]

The really funny ones do the anal probe, THEN use the same probe for oral probe…[/quote]

[quote]turtledove wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]turtledove wrote:

I now tjis sounds crazy but I feel like sometimes I could fly! The other day I was standing on the edge of a 12 story building and I knew that if I jumped of I could fly! I didn’t do it though because there were people could of seen.[/quote]

If you think you can fly there’s no need to start from the top of a building is there? Just start from the ground like Superman.

Y’know…just in case.[/quote]

lol no because I would only try it if it was my life was in danger or something anyway. Anyway Ive always had psycic powers and now I no it has something to do with the implant like they new I was special so they put the implant in me or something. Sometimes at night when its really quiet I can here alien voices coming from inside me cause I thibk there transmitting them to the implant and that why my right arm gets bigger and stronger faster more than the left one. I know that sounds crazy but I was reading that implants and UFOs and everything and it says all about how they put implants in so many people and now there got these powers and there changing into half aliens hald humans with mutant powers and its just like what happened to me only I already had powers before to![/quote]

Why would you only try to fly if your life was in danger? You need to be practicing so you are adequately prepared. Now get outside and fly! Five sets of five reps each.

Also, can you prove that you’ve always had psychic powers? What am I thinking right now? Be specific, none of that generic horoscope junk.

EDIT: Holy shit! After I sent this post, the OP sent me a telepathic message, and he was quite accurate in telling me what I was thinking about at that moment! (for the record, I was thinking about what it would be like to be raped by the easter bunny while traveling in a flying pirate ship and eating unicorn flavored ice cream).

The OP is legit, folks.