Hey Nate, I really enjoyed reading your story. Your writing style is easy to read,
and I like the way you pepper humor through it. You should be a writer imho.
I think your story is somewhat typical of the avg guy that gets on HRT.
I know my story goes somewhat along the same lines, although, I am an ectomorph (6’3" now 230 but was a skinny 165-185 for years and years) that just always thought I was a “hard gainer.” Tried every diet and training method that I read, or was coached into all with so so and slow to no results. Always
carried a little extra bodyfat, always felt a tad socially withdrawn and awkward (except for those
few years when I was in the rave scene hahah).
Fast forward to 42, married 2 awesome kids and just grumpy all the time, tired, no zest for life.
Feeling like, is this it ? So, I went to my uro for testing and came back low T 301 and a month later 313.
The practitioner that did the consultation was awesome, took his time, explained ins and outs, As
we discussed my history it became apparent that I always had low t.
Anyway, being on, and tuned is the best I have felt pretty much ever, but I wanted to touch on something you
said about vanity. I wanted to feel better than I did, and I do, but in the back of my mind were
the same thoughts you had. I wanted to be more muscular, more virile, I wanted to be the person that
was noticed when he took his shirt off. I wanted these things for me though, not to impress anyone, but to
just make myself feel better about myself for once, to feel “whole” if you will. I don’t really see it
any different than someone that has a nose job, breast augmentation or other procedure that finally gives someone the chance to feel complete or normal. I think that most guys on HRT have these same thoughts.
I’ve watched many a poster here on T-Nation go from the HRT dose of 100mg of test per week to a blast and cruise cycle of 300-500mg per week for 6-8 weeks, and then back down to the 100mg dose.
Here is a thread I read a few days back that I think you will enjoy along these lines.
Enjoy the ride.