T Nation

My Self Esteem Has Never Been Lower


#1

I cold approached this girl at the uni library. I got her number and texted her later that day. The entire Conversation went like this

Me: This is a VIP# store with care
-Jack
Her: LOL! Hey I'm sorry for being so rude when giving you my number my manager isn't the nicest person on earth so I didn't know how she would feel about it.

Me:No worries I understand she seems to be in a bad mood most of the time from what I noticed

Her: yeah idk what her deal is! I was like oh no :frowning: i'm usually not that mean.

Me: Do you drink coffee?

Her: haha yeah I do! why?

Me: Rumor has it this place called starbucks serves coffee, we should go verify this rumor.

Her: Yeah why no! when do you want to go

Me: What about saturday at 6?

Her: I have work! 2 jobs so i'm always busy.

Me: Wow hard worker! what about friday at 11am?

Her: I work on Friday too!! lol i'm working 9-2 Friday and 5-10 Saturday.

Me: What about sunday?

Her: Nope that's family day LOL, You shuld know that

Me: Oh! well now I know

Her: I mean don't you have family day on sunday's hahaha

Me. I guess? I always assumed family day was every day?

Her: aww that's swwet! do you have a big family?

Me: Hmm not rly! we're a family of 6 wbu?

Her: I see :slightly_smiling: just 4 my parents my brother and I :slightly_smiling:

Me: It was nice chatting lmk when you're so we can get some coffee!

Her: Thanks you too.

So now i'm a bit skeptical because she's giving me sign that's she's interested but I just have a weird feeling about things So I text her 4 days later on sunday.

me: Hey! so how was family day?

For 12 hours I get no response. There's a read receipt so I know she read it. I them begin getting paranoid until I give in and send a another text

me: is everything ok?

she texts back in two mins

Her: Yeah i'm good! I was with my bf all and didn't have a chance to reply. I'm sorry :frowning:

That's just sucked the air right out of me. I'd rather she denied me in the beginning but leading me on like that? really?

I send a message back

me: No worries

Her: :slightly_smiling:

and that's the end of it. What would you guys do in this situation?


#2

[quote]LiftHeavy360 wrote:
I cold approached this girl at the uni library. I got her number and texted her later that day. The entire Conversation went like this

Me: This is a VIP# store with care
-Jack
Her: LOL! Hey I’m sorry for being so rude when giving you my number my manager isn’t the nicest person on earth so I didn’t know how she would feel about it.

Me:No worries I understand she seems to be in a bad mood most of the time from what I noticed

Her: yeah idk what her deal is! I was like oh no :frowning: i’m usually not that mean.

Me: Do you drink coffee?

Her: haha yeah I do! why?

Me: Rumor has it this place called starbucks serves coffee, we should go verify this rumor.

Her: Yeah why no! when do you want to go

Me: What about saturday at 6?

Her: I have work! 2 jobs so i’m always busy.

Me: Wow hard worker! what about friday at 11am?

Her: I work on Friday too!! lol i’m working 9-2 Friday and 5-10 Saturday.

Me: What about sunday?

Her: Nope that’s family day LOL, You shuld know that

Me: Oh! well now I know

Her: I mean don’t you have family day on sunday’s hahaha

Me. I guess? I always assumed family day was every day?

Her: aww that’s swwet! do you have a big family?

Me: Hmm not rly! we’re a family of 6 wbu?

Her: I see :slight_smile: just 4 my parents my brother and I :slight_smile:

Me: It was nice chatting lmk when you’re so we can get some coffee!

Her: Thanks you too.

So now i’m a bit skeptical because she’s giving me sign that’s she’s interested but I just have a weird feeling about things So I text her 4 days later on sunday.

me: Hey! so how was family day?

For 12 hours I get no response. There’s a read receipt so I know she read it. I them begin getting paranoid until I give in and send a another text

me: is everything ok?

she texts back in two mins

Her: Yeah i’m good! I was with my bf all and didn’t have a chance to reply. I’m sorry :frowning:

That’s just sucked the air right out of me. I’d rather she denied me in the beginning but leading me on like that? really?

I send a message back

me: No worries

Her: :slight_smile:

and that’s the end of it. What would you guys do in this situation?

[/quote]

What would I do? Continue living my life as if absolutely nothing happened, because so far as I can tell, nothing happened. You have zero investment here. Cold approach the next girl, if that’s your thing. Shoot, cold approach a half a dozen in a given night, if you want.

Honestly dude, if this is the biggest blow you self esteem has ever suffered, you’ve led a pretty charmed life so far. No offence meant.


#3

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]LiftHeavy360 wrote:
I cold approached this girl at the uni library. I got her number and texted her later that day. The entire Conversation went like this

Me: This is a VIP# store with care
-Jack
Her: LOL! Hey I’m sorry for being so rude when giving you my number my manager isn’t the nicest person on earth so I didn’t know how she would feel about it.

Me:No worries I understand she seems to be in a bad mood most of the time from what I noticed

Her: yeah idk what her deal is! I was like oh no :frowning: i’m usually not that mean.

Me: Do you drink coffee?

Her: haha yeah I do! why?

Me: Rumor has it this place called starbucks serves coffee, we should go verify this rumor.

Her: Yeah why no! when do you want to go

Me: What about saturday at 6?

Her: I have work! 2 jobs so i’m always busy.

Me: Wow hard worker! what about friday at 11am?

Her: I work on Friday too!! lol i’m working 9-2 Friday and 5-10 Saturday.

Me: What about sunday?

Her: Nope that’s family day LOL, You shuld know that

Me: Oh! well now I know

Her: I mean don’t you have family day on sunday’s hahaha

Me. I guess? I always assumed family day was every day?

Her: aww that’s swwet! do you have a big family?

Me: Hmm not rly! we’re a family of 6 wbu?

Her: I see :slight_smile: just 4 my parents my brother and I :slight_smile:

Me: It was nice chatting lmk when you’re so we can get some coffee!

Her: Thanks you too.

So now i’m a bit skeptical because she’s giving me sign that’s she’s interested but I just have a weird feeling about things So I text her 4 days later on sunday.

me: Hey! so how was family day?

For 12 hours I get no response. There’s a read receipt so I know she read it. I them begin getting paranoid until I give in and send a another text

me: is everything ok?

she texts back in two mins

Her: Yeah i’m good! I was with my bf all and didn’t have a chance to reply. I’m sorry :frowning:

That’s just sucked the air right out of me. I’d rather she denied me in the beginning but leading me on like that? really?

I send a message back

me: No worries

Her: :slight_smile:

and that’s the end of it. What would you guys do in this situation?

[/quote]

What would I do? Continue living my life as if absolutely nothing happened, because so far as I can tell, nothing happened. You have zero investment here. Cold approach the next girl, if that’s your thing. Shoot, cold approach a half a dozen in a given night, if you want.

Honestly dude, if this is the biggest blow you self esteem has ever suffered, you’ve led a pretty charmed life so far. No offence meant.
[/quote]

thanks for the advice. I just don’t understand why a girl would do that. Did I do something wrong? I want to know so I won’t make the same mistake again. I don’t think she has a bf, I think she’s just not interested. What do you think? I don’t want to make the same mistake again.


#4

[quote]LiftHeavy360 wrote:
thanks for the advice. I just don’t understand why a girl would do that. Did I do something wrong? I want to know so I won’t make the same mistake again. I don’t think she has a bf, I think she’s just not interested. What do you think? I don’t want to make the same mistake again.
[/quote]

First of all, batman’s 100% correct.

ON what to do next time… Think less about it. She just didn’t give you a straight answer but took a detour to say no. The only thing you can do better next time is read the signs earlier and worry less.


#5

Supposing she meant “best friend”?

Edit: Because seriously, what kind of stupid bitch (aside from a stripper trying to reel in customers) gives her phone number to a guy she met at work just to fuck with him?


#6

[quote]Cherrybomb wrote:
Supposing she meant “best friend”?[/quote]

holy phuck never thought of this. No wonder she sent a smiley afterward?

^that’s what i’m saying. When I ended the conversation the first time she gave me a bishy response “thank you too”. It seemed like I wasn’t reciprocating and she got pissed off. So now she’s playing the No contact game and making me guess. Idk maybe that’s why she sent the smiley face? She wants me to ask if she has a boyfriend? So she can say no and make myself seem jealous for her? idk i’m just gonna move on. What if she texts me back should I continue or just move on?


#7

Have you thoroughly stalked her on FB to determine if she has a boyfriend?


#8

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:
Have you thoroughly stalked her on FB to determine if she has a boyfriend?[/quote]

I would but I deleted all my social media accounts a few years ago.


#9

You sound like a young undergraduate. You live in a dormitory? You should be trying to hook up with your neighbors, or making friends with them and hooking up with their friends. Classmates are also a good bet. The best is when you find both. You’ll have plenty of time for relationships in the future. Spread you wild oats while you can.


#10

Did you show her your penis? If not, there’s your answer. Bit of side scrot will separate you from the pack.


#11

If this is the most pressing problem in your life, then you are truly a lucky individual. I suspect, you have very little experience with the real world, enjoy this silly crap while you still can.


#12

[quote]LiftHeavy360 wrote:

[quote]Cherrybomb wrote:
Supposing she meant “best friend”?[/quote]

holy phuck never thought of this. No wonder she sent a smiley afterward?
[/quote]

No. Not no wonder. A smiley face is ambiguous. She very well could have meant boyfried, best friend, of fucking beef fritata if that’s her thing. You don’t know. Not to make you over think this btw, but you’re already doing that so.

Look, honestly, do a little leg work. I think someone mentioned check out her facebook page. If there’s hint of a boyfriend, let it go. If not, try again but this time CLARIFY what the BF means. You should’ve asked “boyfriend” but that time has passed my friend.

The real question you need to be asking yourself, regardless, is: Does this girl seem like she has the time for someone as emotionally unstable and needy as me? You seem like you overthink things and play made up scenarios out in your head to the point of unhealthy paranoia. I think it’s pretty damn clear she doesn’t have the time to devote to the level of dating you seem to be needing or looking for.

Move on from her man. Or text her again. Either way, at this point, it’s not that big a deal if she’s available or unavailable.


#13

Dude, move on. The chick you were talking to is dumb. It is obvious you were trying to ask you out and she wasn’t grown up enough to tell you right away.


#14

her*


#15

[quote]Aero51 wrote:
Dude, move on. The chick you were talking to is dumb. It is obvious you were trying to ask you out and she wasn’t grown up enough to tell you right away. [/quote]

I disagree. Most women play the margins. She was establishing him as a Plan B or at least a Beta Orbiter.

I would reply with a text exactly like this:

“Oh shit, I didn’t know you had a bf. My intentions were not remotely honorable because I found you beautiful and sexy and I totally wanted to wine you and dine you. That said, I a gentleman and never poach a man’s gf. I might, however, check back in about 3 months. ;-)”


#16

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:
Dude, move on. The chick you were talking to is dumb. It is obvious you were trying to ask you out and she wasn’t grown up enough to tell you right away. [/quote]

I disagree. Most women play the margins. She was establishing him as a Plan B or at least a Beta Orbiter.

I would reply with a text exactly like this:

“Oh shit, I didn’t know you had a bf. My intentions were not remotely honorable because I found you beautiful and sexy and I totally wanted to wine you and dine you. That said, I a gentleman and never poach a man’s gf. I might, however, check back in about 3 months. ;-)”[/quote]

…or “Hey, just wanted to PIITB. Lemmeknow if you down for me to pound the brown.”


#17

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:
Dude, move on. The chick you were talking to is dumb. It is obvious you were trying to ask you out and she wasn’t grown up enough to tell you right away. [/quote]

I disagree. Most women play the margins. She was establishing him as a Plan B or at least a Beta Orbiter.

I would reply with a text exactly like this:

“Oh shit, I didn’t know you had a bf. My intentions were not remotely honorable because I found you beautiful and sexy and I totally wanted to wine you and dine you. That said, I a gentleman and never poach a man’s gf. I might, however, check back in about 3 months. ;-)”[/quote]

This, you’re in college. Keep looking for different girls, but text this one now and again.

And I believe the youthful vernacular is “BFF” therefore she is certainly taking the bone from her BF.


#18

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:
Dude, move on. The chick you were talking to is dumb. It is obvious you were trying to ask you out and she wasn’t grown up enough to tell you right away. [/quote]

I disagree. Most women play the margins. She was establishing him as a Plan B or at least a Beta Orbiter.

I would reply with a text exactly like this:

“Oh shit, I didn’t know you had a bf. My intentions were not remotely honorable because I found you beautiful and sexy and I totally wanted to wine you and dine you. That said, I a gentleman and never poach a man’s gf. I might, however, check back in about 3 months. ;-)”[/quote]

I think this is kind of a weak reply, but I never get laid so what do I know. It comes off as you are apologizing for something she did.


#19

[quote]Aero51 wrote:
It comes off as you are apologizing for something she did.

[/quote]

He is talking to a woman…

I mean this is marriage 101 right here. Choose your battles, and lose with great speed when you choose not to fight “this one” out.


#20

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:
It comes off as you are apologizing for something she did.

[/quote]

He is talking to a woman…

I mean this is marriage 101 right here. Choose your battles, and lose with great speed when you choose not to fight “this one” out. [/quote]

It is pretty sad and upsetting that you are 100% correct. Big surprised why we have a sexodus today. It is an interesting topic worth googling.