T Nation

My Quest For Strength


Some More Thoughts:

  • I’m not sure how much progress I’ve actually made on 5/3/1. I realize that this is almost positively my fault (nutrition has been horrible for months, probably because I’m not absorbing a lot of the food that I eat, sleep has been horrible for years, and pain has prevented me from performing at my best on a number of occasions).

  • I feel like I am very reliant on my belt.

  • I feel like my top deadlift single is lower than I thought it was.

  • I have lost 5 pounds in the last month, my stomach pain is still very aggravating and limiting, and I am beginning to hate my life with a passion. I am constantly hungry, exhausted, and I feel weak. I have also been “mono-eating” for the last week (meaning that I eat one thing at each meal and wait 2 hours before I eat anything else). My diet has been nuts, quinoa, beans, vegetables, and potatoes. I can only eat 4 foods in a day, and fruit and meat are not allowed.

  • I wake up angry every single day, probably because I have a knack for stressing about the stuff I have absolutely no power over. In my case, this seems to be my health.

  • I am very much tempted to completely give up every single day.


Update: Decided to do push-ups because physical activity makes me feel better. Did 60 straight, with more in the tank.


Good session today. Did some timed holds. Set a Dead-Stop PR, I guess. Took Brian Alsruhe’s tip about keeping your neck tucked.


135 x 2 x 5
185 x 3
225 x 2
250 x 3
285 x 3
320 x 8
250 x 20

Timed Holds

315 x 30 s.
335 x 45 s.
385 x 35 s.

Ab Work

  • 50 Ab Wheels

  • 2:45 Plank

  • all up in less than 15 minutes.


Did some back work today, I will have to bench tomorrow! Couldn’t get to the big boy weight room today.

50 Chin-ups
75 lb. x 55 Kroc Rows (RP)
100 band pull aparts

25 lb. (Weighted) 1/2 mile run.

Bag work


My stomach is in worse shape than originally thought. I have cysts on my kidney, and my spleen and liver are currently in the early stages of tissue deterioration. My stomach is also on fire.


Wow, that’s pretty rugged sounding man. What did the docs say is the next course of action?


Probably colonics if none of that clears up in a few weeks. Until then, I’m just eating how I normally do. I’m better than I was 2 months ago.


Didn’t hit a Bench PR today, probably because I fucked my setup. Also have been having a stressful week, chock-full of work and minimal sleep. However, I am feeling noticeably better than I was yesterday at this time. Not 100%, but getting there. Pushing Squats to Friday AM, Pressing in the PM. Will probably do some chins tomorrow. Should be one hell of a finish to this week.


45 x 2 x 5
95 x 5
115 x 3
125 x 3
145 x 3
160 x 9 (missed 10th midway)
125 x 50 (Rest-Pause in the most generous sense of the word)

50 Dips
1 x 30, 1 x 20 — 70 lb. Curls
100 band Pull-Aparts

Jesus Christ am I feeling fatigued. Gunning for a 275 x 11 Squat Friday.


Some Thoughts

  • I’ve been slacking on doing assistance between my main sets (with the exception of Chin-ups because I find them to be very easy, and pretty light on my body overall). Thinking about this specifically: is it a good way to save time + boost volume by doing exercises such as dips and pushups between sets of Bench and Press, or doing Chin-ups between sets of Deadlifts and Ab Work between sets of Squats? The only thing I understand is that my main set would be negatively impacted if I went this route, but it may be a good template for the future (because presumably I’d still be getting stronger, my main sets just might not show it for the first cycle or so while I adapted to the work).

  • You always have another rep in you if you say, “The hell I can’t!” before you’re about to give up. Not sure how true that is, but I’ll do it simply for the placebo effect. That and “fight till you die” are two of my favorite mini-sayings.

  • Things may finally be looking up for me. Taking my new girl out in a few weeks! Stomach is feeling somewhat better today; hopefully that trend continues. I also aced a test today.

  • I’m learning how to live by the values that I believe in. I’m also learning how to not quit, both on PR sets and in life. @T3hPwnisher, your blog helped set some things in perspective for me, so thank you for that.


I may have to squat tomorrow, unfortunately. My abs and lower back are sore, but doing 2 massive workouts back to back just isn’t going to happen. At least, it’s not going to happen with any degree of acceptable efficacy. I also have to deadlift Monday and remarkably sore legs will be horrible to pull with.


Maybe try something different with squats. Go for volume or go for some kind of accessory that will help the squat like box squats, reverse hypers, front squats or something like that.


My Squatting Assistance at this point is just one giant squat set @ FSL weight. I usually get around 20 reps. It’s a fucking ballbuster.


I agree. I hurt my shoulder so I’m doing a 4 week leg routine. Legs 3x a week and at the end there’s a finishing set. One day it’s a 2 minute leg press, another day it’s 20 rep squats lol. They both suck.


Jesus mate that’s rough. Is this all from celiac?

Also glad to hear you’re in a better place now than before


Yes, this is all from Celiac. If left untreated, it would have progressed to colon cancer and killed me.


I never realised celiac could be so serious. I’m glad you caught it early and are improving, it’s great having you around


Thanks man, it’s great to be here. Yeah, honestly, the disease still has the potential to stop responding to the diet and kill me. So, I’m enjoying every day I have here. Kind of gives you a new perspective on life.


Good stuff man


Okay. So, I have bad news and good news. The bad news is, I quit on a Squat Set that could have been a PR for me had I given 100%. However, the good news is that my baseline, not feeling well, generally fatigued strength is where I need it to be. Also, I hit a set for 215 x 16 with more in the tank. Also, my last PR (280 x 10) was set in the Late AM, and I had more sleeping time accumulated throughout that week. I was also less fatigued, because I pushed that workout to a Friday. I think I’ve gotten 16 hours of sleep this week. Have to do chin-ups and Ab Stuff later. In and out of the gym in 25 minutes. Getting stronger every day! Event stuff tomorrow as well.


45 x 2 x 5
135 x 5
185 x 2 — felt fast!
215 x 3 — still fast!
245 x 3 — (Belt, sleeves on, chalk applied)
275 x 8 — feet were also unevenly spaced! I’m used to being able to slide my feet across the platform in order to align them, but I can’t do that with my Vans).
215 x 16

50 chin-ups
25 Weighted Decline Sit-ups w/ 45 lb.


Nice squatting man, good work.