T Nation

My Ode to the Greatest Vegetable!


#1

What? Why do people want to bash my vegetable friend broccoli? Seriously, I try not to take it personally, but how can you not love this stuff?

Number 1 - it's cheap! You can 5 pounds of frozen broccoli for about $4. Not too shabby. Now, I know some of you probably live in some mansion on the ocean, with solid gold squirrels and a security force made up of invincible robots with laser beams for eyes, but for us regular folk' that's a great deal! And since it's frozen, it can last forever! Now what? You need fresh broccoli in your life? That's cool brother, because fresh broccoli is pretty cheap too, AND it lasts a long time in the fridge, unlike your punk-ass vegetables like eggplant or lettuce (whoa boy, don't get me started on iceberg son)

Number 2 - broccoli is easy to prepare. I've got those iron chef skills, so this point is moot to me, but for you other novice chefs out there, you really can't screw up broccoli! All you have to do is follow the directions on the microwave bag! If that's too hard for you, then let me give you some directions:

  1. Put broccoli in bowl
  2. microwave until hot
  3. drain excess water and eat!

For fresh broccoli you can do the same microwave method (just add a splash of water and cover) or you can stir-fry the delicious little veggie! Hell, I'll do one better! Get some fresh vegetables and eat it raw! That's right! Take outta fridge and gnaw on that stalk bitches!

Number 3 - broccoli is versatile!! It can be eaten with anything. You can take any piece of meat and eat broccoli as a side dish. You can have steak and broccoli, chicken and broccoli, lamb and broccoli. You can also make casserole dishes with broccoli, some low-fat cream of mushroom soup, some cheap cut of meat and other veggies! Bake it up with some low-fat cheese and you've got a great meal! Broccoli and cheese frittatas are crazy delicious! What? You're a vegetarian? (and probably a lame-ass hippie?!) Yo, that's cool, you can have broccoli with a side dish of broccoli! There, problem solved, and you get twice the deliciousness!

Number 4 - It's good for you!!! I don't need to really get into WHY broccoli is good for you. You know it's good for you, I know it's good for you, and the American people know it's good for you! If you need further convincing (which I'm sure you don't) there are articles written on this fine vegetable by people much more qualified than me right on this beautiful T-Nation site!! Come on tough guy, you take shots of flax oil and chase it down with tuna shakes and you won't eat a little broccoli? NONSENSE I SAY!! NONSENSE!

Number 5 - Do it because eating broccoli is like non-violent resistance to George Bush Senior! That broccoli-hating pinko!!!

Some kid walked up to me like, "Ewww.. you're eating broccoli.. again!" You know what bible beaters are? Well, I'm this close to being a broccoli beater!

Same scenario:
loser - "Ewww.. you're eating broccoli.. again!"
me - "Are you bashing broccoli?"
loser - "Yea!"
me - "Nah man, broccoli is bashing YOU!"

Then I'd take out a fresh stalk of broccoli and proceed to supply the loser with a 9278% of the FDA's daily allowance of cruciferous whoop-ass!

Ok, Rant over.. I feel better.. whew.. :slightly_smiling:


#2

Yes. Broccoli does in fact rule my vegetable kingdom. That and sweet potato waffles!


#3

Broccoli is my all time favorite vegetable...

Sweet potato waffles? Give us an inside view on those


#4

I never understood why kids always hate broccoli on TV. Even when I was young, broccoli was the best vegetable by far. I don't really ever run into people that have a problem with broccoli, but I know all these pussies that don't eat tomatoes. I'm not sure what that's about, either...


#5

yes, I second this, I'm intrigued...


#6

Have you tried....the broccaflower?

Hybrid between broccoli and cauliflower invented in 1972, I think.

I have it pretty much every day.

It looks just like green cauliflower.


#7

Yes, broccoflower is cool looking stuff. It looks like a neon light. There is also an asparagus/broccoli cross that I have seen but never tried.

Re. Sweet potato waffles the original recipe came from this guy...

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_24960,00.html

I tweaked it a bit to my taste and top it with 3 parts heavy cream to 1 part real maple syrup... WHIPPED! You can throw the whipped cream on top of your coffee too. It's truly the bomb. The leftovers go great in the toaster oven and the vitamin and overall nutrient density is really high.

I am an indulgent bastard. Sometimes I think it's the only reason to train... i.e. to eat more.


#8

i love it. great post! funny stuff


#9


The broccoli kale cross above.

Wow, from a quick websearch about broccoli flower:

the funny thing about broccaflower is that one half of its components are already a hybrid. Broccoli that is. So Broccaflower is in fact 3/4 cauliflower and 1/4 peas.


#10

I'm a recent convert over to the broccoli side ( raw only). That being said my biggest complaint.

The shit fucking STINKS when cooked.


#11

TC - I have never tried the broccaflower, but I am intrigued!! I'll have to give it a go, prepared by dripping in olive oil and red chile flakes of course!

AgentOrange - you know, I have noticed the tomato thing too, and I don't get it. The thing that I find really interesting is people who hate tomatoes, but love ketchup.

beebuddy - I saw the recipe for sweet potato waffles and they look delicious,but, as a PFB (present fat boy) I don't know if I could slide that into my diet right now.


#12

Peas and liver suck.

I love broccoli and cauliflower and even brussel sprouts...something about those peas though. My parents used to put a timer on me after I refused to eat them and the table was all cleared except mine. 5 minutes.....tick tock.

I'd also spit my liver into my napkin...got busted every time.

I have childhood food issues.


#13

I tried broccoli several months back . . . my stomach decided to give it back.

:frowning:


#14

Broccoli: Natures Broom


#15

My Top 5 (alternative) vegetables.

  1. Tenderstem - hybrid of Brocolli and Chinese Kale, long thin stems, rich in phytonutrients, particularly Indoles & Isothiocyanates and more particularly Indole 3 Carbinol which is anti oestrogenic.

  2. Parsnips - like other umbelliferous vegetables rich in phytonutrients.

  3. Leeks - Rich in Allyl sulfide

  4. Radish - Chock full of Protease inhibitors and flavonoids.

  5. Brussels sprouts - 'Son of Cabbage'
    Bursting with organosulfides, dithiolthiones, isothiocyanates and protease inhibitors. Also contain glucarates coumarins and other phenolic acids and terpenes. They are only number 5 because I don't actually like them so I smother them in ketchup (which also gives me a bit of lycopene).

Honourary mention...

Turnips.


#16

Broccoli is the shit. I also like Broccolini, which is like a baby version of broccoli.

Shit, even my 18 month old daughter likes broccolini.

The only way to eat brussel sprouts is to wrap them in bacon.


#17

Mmmm...broccoli...

I like to drizzle olive oil on mine throw in some shrooms and red bell peppers then season with cayenne pepper, salt, and black pepper and bake...I then drizzle with some balsamic vinegar and go to town!


#18

Brussel Sprouts make me heave, but I eat them like giant vitamin pills. Didn't eat them for years... relative of mine told me each one had a weevil inside that was in a suspended state (like Han Solo when he got put in that thing by Jabba) and when you ate them, these weevils got 'activated' and started to eat their way out of you. I was only about 7 mind.


#19

I tried broccoli once. I metled a pount of velveta, and I dipped the boccoli in it, you could not see any green except where I was grasping the stalk. It stilled tasted terrible.
Does cooked broccoli taste better, and does it loose any of its anti-oxidant value?

BarneyFife-corn beef and tater raised kansas boy.


#20

That is fantastic. I'm going to tell all the local kids that one.