My mother hanged herself monday night, it has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. I have so many questions. She didn’t leave a note, and I talked to her the day before and see sounded normal. Over this past week I’ve learned that she had 2 suicide attempts before I was born and 1 when I was 4 years old but never knew. It’s so sad and I feel shes completely different then the woman that raised, but at the same time I can see it.
One of the hardest parts we are not telling anyone in my dad or mother’s family it was a suicide. My dads family is hardcore catholic and never liked my mother. My mother’s side is very family oriented and my dad, sister, and I feel it would leave a black mark on my mother.
This whole situation is jacked up. But I still love my mother, I’m angry at her for giving up on us, but I won’t judge her. I think I will just remember the good times and try and learn and further motivate myself from this situation. She is in a better place now, RIP mom.
I have always been opposed to tatoos, but I’m contemplating getting one at the bottom of my foot. Not for people to see, but for me to know.