T Nation

My Last, And Very Last Hangover

You slowly lift your heavy eyelids, peeking out from the darkness of sleep. Something smells funny. You finally are able to pry open your eyes and the rudeness of the rising sunlight causes a curse of pain to shoot through your eyes, into your head and travel down to your toes. You cry out, “OOOoohh! I’m so NAUSEATED! I think I have to PUKE!” Throbbing and throbbing and throbbing, you reposition your head, hoping for relief, but that very slight movement makes your head spin into a dizzying vertigo so intense that your stomach churns upside down, inside out then BLECHHHHHHH you hurl, a putrid mixture of partially digested fruit juices, ethanol and bits of cherry spiked with stomach acid comes spewing from your mouth…you wonder, how could my GI tract have betrayed me so? Then you remember…you vaguely recall the night before…

It all started out as “Girls Night Out”. You all needed some stress relief from the daily grind, so what better than a night out on the town? You arrive at a popular nightspot. First, at the suggestion of your best girlfriend, you sipped daintily on a drink named, “Lemon Drop”, her favorite. You don’t normally drink, so you needed suggestions. Hmmm, this drink tastes pretty good! Doesn’t TASTE like alcohol!

Then, Lemon Drop number two, then number three. You recall losing your inhibitions, the intoxicating ambiance of a cigarette-smoke filled nightclub, your friends boogying down. Someone you haven’t seen for ten years hands you a drink. “What’s this?” you ask. “Wine. Sip on it, SLOWLY, ok?” “Ok, thanks,” you say, “here’s to old friends.”

Then, a bit tipsy, your ego gets the best of you and you join the group of guy buddies for Tequila shots, thinking, “Oh yeah, I’m one of the Big Boys Now!”. You chuck back the first shot…quivering, it feels like liquid heat sliding down your throat and esophagus, and then a hot explosion occurs in your stomach. “Make the next round a double, and this one’s on me”…‘hehe,’ you think, ‘I sure can DRINK!’ The double shot, not so bad…kinda warm actually. And my gums feel numb. Heeheehee. And the next round. And the next…only this time, it’s a Jack Daniels shot. And a B52 shot. And then a Dirty Martini is handed to you, “SIP on this, don’t GULP it down, ok?” “Ok…hey, can I have a few more olives in it, I forgot to eat dinner?”

This is when things get sketchy. I’m sitting on a barstool at I believe a wooden bar, with I think my elbows on the bar. Someone says something to me. “I’m buzzing,” I say. He says something else to me. Then something else. Then something else. I was zoning out when he was talking so don’t know what he said, but he’s standing there waiting for an answer, so not knowing what he said to me I look for the most neutral answer and reply…“Whatever”…and then he walks away. I hope it wasn’t a loaded question and I pissed him off…whatever.

My girlfriend comes up to me. “Did you have too much to drink, silly girl?” OMG, that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! I crack up so hard for such a long time that my stomach hurts and I feel warmth on my cheeks…I put my hands to my face and realize that tears are streaming down my face…I crack up even harder. Then I draw a blank. Next thing, I’m in the middle of the dance floor dancing with some dude, my girlfriend nudging me, “don’t just stand there, DANCE!” Then a blank.

Then we’re outside, I think we were talking to someone. Then we’re sitting on a bench…it may have been a few minutes, then other friends arrive. “She drank too much.” “No I didn’t, I just had one Lemon Drop, that’s not too much!”

Then a blank. Then I’m laying in the reclined passenger seat of a car, curled up comfy cozy. I guess I had been asleep. WAIT A MINUTE?!. Whom is this driving? OMG, it’s an old friend! How did I get here with him? “Go to sleep, silly girl!” I look behind me as I feel my girlfriend stroking my hair from the back seat. WHEW! Fear and worry quickly fade to relief. Glad she’s there! Okok, I didn’t do anything I’d regret. Well at least anything with another PERSON that I’d regret!!..

Speaking of regret, ever get the kind of hangover that you so regret that you pray to GOD that if he can just get you through this ONE hangover, you will never touch another alcoholic beverage ever again? Ever get the kind of hangover headache that makes you puke? Ever have the kind of hangover that even AFTER you have puked-out every single little bit of alcohol, you drink a half glass of water and then resume puking your guts out again? You even puke out dry crackers? You were sick for days? Even the MEMORY of this hangover actually makes you nauseated? I have had this hangover. The hangover to end all hangovers. It was a couple of years ago, and the reason “I don’t drink alcohol”.

And BTW, I have run into “whatever” guy several times and it must’ve been a loaded question because each time I see him I smile at him in acknowledgement and each time he gives me the dirty look.

I had exactly that kind of hangover the morning after my birthday this year. We’re friends with the bartenders, so drinks were free…all night…I don’t think I’ve been that wasted since my 21st birthday. But a damn good night. Damn good memories-the parts I remember that is.

Funny you would post this, I had a similar experience on Saturday and I am just now starting to feel normal again.

I was at a house party and drinking rye. Of course I don’t remember drinking enough to completely black out but others were mixing drinks for me towards the end and making them very strong. Also, I had no carbs in my system, which I think makes alcohol affect you worse.

I don’t remember near as much as you do after blacking out, just two memories which I wish I could forget.

I am never drinking hard alcohol again.

I have never made this particular resolution before, but I have in past given up smoking and drugs after four years of heavy usage, so I know I can stick to this too.

The only thing I will allow myself in future is a glass or two of wine.

It is really ridiculous that I would spend so much time taking such good care of my body and then go out and put all that crap in it and damage my liver like that.

You guys are making me thirsty. Tequila, rye whiskey. I love these drinks.

Maybe I’ll knock off early…

ahhh come on…quitters never win.

Although I don’t drink much hard liquor anymore…makes a man mean…

I’d drank on and off from about age 16. However, one savage night at age 19 swore me off from heavy drinking. I think in the end I had the equivalent of 24 drinks in two hours. I didn’t throw up until next morning - pure undiluted vodka. No fruit juices to mask the purity of it. All coming back up my throat. Cookies were being made at the house at the same time.

  1. I’m now classically conditioned to the point where if I smell baked goods while they’re cooking or have just been cooked, I become sick to my stomach.

  2. I haven’t had more than 5 drinks in one night since then, and recently gave up alocohol for good about 4 months ago.

I find just taking Spike gets me into the happy go lucky party mood, and the atmosphere of a club/house whatever takes care of the rest.

I was younger and drank more. I got shit faced and puked all over a titty bar bathroom sink area.

During warm-up I had drunk a few beer and then chugged 2 large glasses of bacardi because I was invincible.

When my cousin and the bouncer were trying to get me out I was grabbing onto everything in sight on the way out the door. They had to pry my fingers off of stationary objects cause apparently I wanted to see naked women dance that much.

People tell me a few strippers had come out the back door to watch them drag me to the car. Everyone was laughing, especially the hot naked women. The police didn’t really find it that funny but I guess some people just don’t know what’s funny when they see its pathetic ass puking on the curb.

Of course at the time I didn’t find it funny, but after the hang over wore off (thank god for the super recovery powers of a 19 year old) the next day I couldn’t help but laugh.

Yea, I’ve had a few like that.

The first was the after grad party. We took a school bus there and back. Had my head out the window the whole way back. I strongly doubt anyone sat next to me.

The second was a house party where I had a (good) chance with a girl or two. My friend who invited me gave me 3 or 4 too many shots of whiskey (which I bought for him, as a gift). Since then the smell of burbon (which I was also drinking) makes me gag. My head was in the toilet most of the night.

I only drink beer now, unless its $1 hi ball night.

I’m 19 so I can get away with it (for now).

Oh yea, I’m a pretty lightweight drinker. 5 beer is pretty much my limit. At least its cheap nights, and (less) calories…

Last bad one I can remember was New Orleans three years ago, We got to town about 11:30 pm, checked in and were on Bourbon Street by midnight. On Thursday nights down there, all the bars had specials, three for one typically. So some 5 houre later after about 18 bottles of Budwieser, Corona and maybe one Miller Lite, along with a Jean Laffites hurricane that would make the Devil go to AA, I was in a bar on Iberville, not sure how I got there, conversing with a salt shaker and sipping Guiness.

After crawling back to the room, and passing out, I awoke at 12:00 to find some invisible pro-ball player repeatedly hitting me with a bat while the thing form Alien decided to try and come out my stomach or do Riverdance, one of the two.

Good times.

Would… I woke up naked wrapped in a car bra and laying in the ditch on the side of the road out front of my good friends wedding count? Then there was the strip joint where my buddie and me thought we could out drink each other. I was fucked up for 3 days after that. Thank god my woman at the time was understanding. I called in sick and laid in bed. ETC

I got a pretty good, or bad one. Second year of college I decided to pledge a frat, our big brother night was a night out on the town for all the pledges and it was like a little more than halfway through so it was a nice break. There was one stipulation however, you had to polish off a one liter bottle of your family trees drink. Some of us had to drink jack, some had soco, some even had straight vodka.

Lucky lucky lucky me go goo dole, Gin. Juniper fucking berries can kiss my ass. I didn’t even like the taste of the alcohol add that to the fact that we only had 30 minutes to drink the entire thing and I decided “fuck it” I guess i’ll just have to chug it. So I did, I held it down too, made it about 45 minutes before I blacked out.

Woke up the next day with scrapes on my hands and knees, go down to get breakfast at the dining hall, 3 girls on the way say hi to me and ask if I remember the night before. I smile and say not a fucking minute, they all giggle and refuse to give me any fucking details, they were all cute too so hopefully I hooked up with them or something.

Then I start talking to the rest of my pledge brothers. “YOU DRANK THE WHOLE FUCKING BOTTLE?” as it turns out, no one is really supposed to drink the whole bottle in 30 minutes, your supposed to just do as many shots as you can in 30 minutes and for most of them it was like 8-10 which is still a lot, but for most it was the last thing they drank all night.

I didn’t really feel that bad the next day, but the guys who were watching me told me that I got pretty sick later in the night. They just kept pumping me full of water any chance they could they even said they would dump a beer bottle out and give it to me with water in it because for a while I refused to drink water.

To this day, I only drink beer. I can usually handle one shot of something easy per night out, but any more and I get really sick. Also, if I smell gin or even juniper, I get sick.


I haven’t had a good hangover since I was laid off from the airlines. I don’t really miss the hangovers but do miss my old crews and the good times.

yeah I know of what you speak. I used to have those hangovers on a weekly basis, usually twice a week at least. Not at the alcoholic level…I was what you would call a binge drinker. Thank “whoever’s up there” that I met my wife and now have kids otherwise I would still be doing it…even after a few run ins with the law. Ah…Good times…good times…

Heya All!!!
Thanks for the great drunk stories!!

My first worst hangover was my 18th birthday party when my friends and I rented a hotel room…our budget only allowed us to buy “Meister Brau” beer and nothing else.

So we had had no lunch or dinner before we started drinking the beer because we had no money for food, but hell, what did we care, we could get drunker with an empty stomach.

Well many other friends heard about the party and showed up with a present- Bacardi 151, and myself, already drunk, decided to show off and chug the whole thing down. I then proceeded to pass out from standing position, landing on my head…I didn’t feel or remember the “landing on your head” part, but oh the next 24 hours goes down in porcelain history. And BTW, my friends took photos of me in my passed out state and it’s not pretty.

My second worst hangover was senior prom night…the different cliques had rented rooms in the same hotel, so we went from hotel party to hotel party…each room had different kinds of alcohol, which of course I had to sample all of the different kinds, including “Jungle Juice”…people brought different alcohols and juices and mixed them all up in a punch bowl.

Later on, intoxicated and walking to another party, I found a ton of open, empty beer cans in the hall and decided to clean up a bit “so we don’t get busted partying”. So I placed my fingers into the mouth of each of ten cans, carrying them to the next hotel party, while at the same time stumbling over my wobbly feet.

Well one room decided to crush each person trying to get into their room by opening the door halfway and once in halfway, a bunch of guys slammed the door on you and held you there.

So my friend knocked and the door opened halfway…I stuck my head in first to see who was in there, and guess what, they slammed the door on my head…the last thing I remember was hearing and feeling a painful “crack” and hearing, “Oh my God, it’s a CHICK, get off, get off!” and then passing out. In the ER, I was diagnosed with a concussion and lacerations to my ten fingers (from the beer can sharp edges being pressed into my skin).

Ah, the combination Intoxication and Head injury sure goes hand in hand!!

Your friends are bitches. If somebody called me a silly girl I would punch them in the face.

[quote]jacross wrote:
Your friends are bitches. If somebody called me a silly girl I would punch them in the face.[/quote]

You DO realize that Chinadoll is a girl, or should i say Vixen, and if she was as drunk as she’s describing, would be acting what the general concensus would deescribe as “a bit silly.”

If this all a news flash to you, please try and keep up, we move fast around here.

Every time I have gotten sick from drinking, and I mean everytime, I had not eaten enough before going on the “binge”.

If you are going to party, eat beforehand, for God’s sake. By the way, never try to puke out a window of a moving car…

sigh wish i was there… :wink:

Chinadoll these are some interesting stories. We probably would’ve been good drinkin buddies.

Unfortunately for you and everybody else in the world, your stories can’t compare to mine. LOL.

You see, I was once on a mission to be the best drunk ever. One of the more interesting times is when I broke into my best friend’s parents’ house, intending to call him when he fuckin lived there. I actually busted through the door to be meeted by his dad’s pistol.

As for hangovers, well they’re sometimes not the worst part in drinking too much. I often have prayed to die over the toilet seat.

After the Gratefull Dead show at Buckeye Lake in 1994 I’m prety sure I was retarted for about 6 months, but since I was retarted, I can’t be sure.

Can’t pinpoint a specific substance, but after 3 days of pot, acid, and coke with copious amounts of beer(you know, to take the edge off) I’m prety sure it was a lack of food.:slight_smile: The shish-ke-babs those hippies make will kill ya!

That certainly wasn’t the last one or the worst, but definitely one of the longest and strangest.
It has been a few years since the last one and I don’t miss them in the least. Life has gotten much better without such a destructive and influential habit.