You slowly lift your heavy eyelids, peeking out from the darkness of sleep. Something smells funny. You finally are able to pry open your eyes and the rudeness of the rising sunlight causes a curse of pain to shoot through your eyes, into your head and travel down to your toes. You cry out, "OOOoohh! I'm so NAUSEATED! I think I have to PUKE!" Throbbing and throbbing and throbbing, you reposition your head, hoping for relief, but that very slight movement makes your head spin into a dizzying vertigo so intense that your stomach churns upside down, inside out then BLECHHHHHHH you hurl, a putrid mixture of partially digested fruit juices, ethanol and bits of cherry spiked with stomach acid comes spewing from your mouth...you wonder, how could my GI tract have betrayed me so? Then you remember...you vaguely recall the night before......
It all started out as "Girls Night Out". You all needed some stress relief from the daily grind, so what better than a night out on the town? You arrive at a popular nightspot. First, at the suggestion of your best girlfriend, you sipped daintily on a drink named, "Lemon Drop", her favorite. You don't normally drink, so you needed suggestions. Hmmm, this drink tastes pretty good! Doesn't TASTE like alcohol!
Then, Lemon Drop number two, then number three. You recall losing your inhibitions, the intoxicating ambiance of a cigarette-smoke filled nightclub, your friends boogying down. Someone you haven't seen for ten years hands you a drink. "What's this?" you ask. "Wine. Sip on it, SLOWLY, ok?" "Ok, thanks," you say, "here's to old friends."
Then, a bit tipsy, your ego gets the best of you and you join the group of guy buddies for Tequila shots, thinking, "Oh yeah, I'm one of the Big Boys Now!". You chuck back the first shot...quivering, it feels like liquid heat sliding down your throat and esophagus, and then a hot explosion occurs in your stomach. "Make the next round a double, and this one's on me"....'hehe,' you think, 'I sure can DRINK!' The double shot, not so bad...kinda warm actually. And my gums feel numb. Heeheehee. And the next round. And the next...only this time, it's a Jack Daniels shot. And a B52 shot. And then a Dirty Martini is handed to you, "SIP on this, don't GULP it down, ok?" "Ok...hey, can I have a few more olives in it, I forgot to eat dinner?"
This is when things get sketchy. I'm sitting on a barstool at I believe a wooden bar, with I think my elbows on the bar. Someone says something to me. "I'm buzzing," I say. He says something else to me. Then something else. Then something else. I was zoning out when he was talking so don't know what he said, but he's standing there waiting for an answer, so not knowing what he said to me I look for the most neutral answer and reply....."Whatever"...and then he walks away. I hope it wasn't a loaded question and I pissed him off....whatever.
My girlfriend comes up to me. "Did you have too much to drink, silly girl?" OMG, that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! I crack up so hard for such a long time that my stomach hurts and I feel warmth on my cheeks....I put my hands to my face and realize that tears are streaming down my face....I crack up even harder. Then I draw a blank. Next thing, I'm in the middle of the dance floor dancing with some dude, my girlfriend nudging me, "don't just stand there, DANCE!" Then a blank.
Then we're outside, I think we were talking to someone. Then we're sitting on a bench...it may have been a few minutes, then other friends arrive. "She drank too much." "No I didn't, I just had one Lemon Drop, that's not too much!"
Then a blank. Then I'm laying in the reclined passenger seat of a car, curled up comfy cozy. I guess I had been asleep. WAIT A MINUTE?!. Whom is this driving? OMG, it's an old friend! How did I get here with him? "Go to sleep, silly girl!" I look behind me as I feel my girlfriend stroking my hair from the back seat. WHEW! Fear and worry quickly fade to relief. Glad she's there! Okok, I didn't do anything I'd regret. Well at least anything with another PERSON that I'd regret!!.....
Speaking of regret, ever get the kind of hangover that you so regret that you pray to GOD that if he can just get you through this ONE hangover, you will never touch another alcoholic beverage ever again? Ever get the kind of hangover headache that makes you puke? Ever have the kind of hangover that even AFTER you have puked-out every single little bit of alcohol, you drink a half glass of water and then resume puking your guts out again? You even puke out dry crackers? You were sick for days? Even the MEMORY of this hangover actually makes you nauseated? I have had this hangover. The hangover to end all hangovers. It was a couple of years ago, and the reason "I don't drink alcohol".
And BTW, I have run into "whatever" guy several times and it must've been a loaded question because each time I see him I smile at him in acknowledgement and each time he gives me the dirty look.