T Nation

My Horrible 18th Birthday...

[quote]PGA wrote:
jsbrook wrote:
A tip: it’s not that easy to get hard with a hundred other dudes around…

Its not that hard for rrjc…[/quote]

You’re right… its not hard with other guys around.

A bit of advice about strippers in general can be gained from the Duke rape case…the girl had DNA from 2 different men in her, and the 2 men were not involved in the rape case.

I was at a bachelor party where a stripper stuck a lollipop in her vagina, then into this guys mouth, as well as other things like taking a life saver off his nose and dropping it in his mouth. I reminded him of what the girl may have been doing prior to the show, and he promptly vomited.

[quote]Imen de Naars wrote:
B.b. in stress! wrote:
Creidem wrote:
That was your first real live pussy? Umm…were you home-schooled and locked in your yard by any chance?

no i just never really had the chance to hook up with any girls/ fuck them

Then you should [/quote]

Good advice.

You didn’t Like the whipping? What about the wax impression of her cooter? If they didn’t play with the hot wax, then you got something to look forward to on your next visit.

All in all it could’ve been worse.

I learned what the “donkey show” is all about on my 18th birthday. Then I won the banana which the other Mexican whore was using as a dildo. I wasn’t really hungry at that time so I let my drunk ass buddy eat it. That was pretty funny. Ahh, the fond memories of Mexico.

[quote]Petedacook wrote:
A bit of advice about strippers in general can be gained from the Duke rape case…the girl had DNA from 2 different men in her, and the 2 men were not involved in the rape case.

I was at a bachelor party where a stripper stuck a lollipop in her vagina, then into this guys mouth, as well as other things like taking a life saver off his nose and dropping it in his mouth. I reminded him of what the girl may have been doing prior to the show, and he promptly vomited.

[/quote]

oh that’s so gross

[quote]chinadoll wrote:
Petedacook wrote:
A bit of advice about strippers in general can be gained from the Duke rape case…the girl had DNA from 2 different men in her, and the 2 men were not involved in the rape case.

I was at a bachelor party where a stripper stuck a lollipop in her vagina, then into this guys mouth, as well as other things like taking a life saver off his nose and dropping it in his mouth. I reminded him of what the girl may have been doing prior to the show, and he promptly vomited.

oh that’s so gross

[/quote]

I’ve seen worse. It involves a stripper, a coke bottle, a 20 dollar bill, a string of pearls, and about 6 fraternity brothers.

poor baby

[quote]Professor X wrote:
chinadoll wrote:
Petedacook wrote:
A bit of advice about strippers in general can be gained from the Duke rape case…the girl had DNA from 2 different men in her, and the 2 men were not involved in the rape case.

I was at a bachelor party where a stripper stuck a lollipop in her vagina, then into this guys mouth, as well as other things like taking a life saver off his nose and dropping it in his mouth. I reminded him of what the girl may have been doing prior to the show, and he promptly vomited.

oh that’s so gross

I’ve seen worse. It involves a stripper, a coke bottle, a 20 dollar bill, a string of pearls, and about 6 fraternity brothers.[/quote]

Do tell, please.

[quote]chinadoll wrote:
Professor X wrote:
chinadoll wrote:
Petedacook wrote:
A bit of advice about strippers in general can be gained from the Duke rape case…the girl had DNA from 2 different men in her, and the 2 men were not involved in the rape case.

I was at a bachelor party where a stripper stuck a lollipop in her vagina, then into this guys mouth, as well as other things like taking a life saver off his nose and dropping it in his mouth. I reminded him of what the girl may have been doing prior to the show, and he promptly vomited.

oh that’s so gross

I’ve seen worse. It involves a stripper, a coke bottle, a 20 dollar bill, a string of pearls, and about 6 fraternity brothers.

Do tell, please.
[/quote]

I’m with Chinadoll,

This sounds like a story so worth hearing. Or be made into a Farley Brothers movie, the european version.

[quote]chinadoll wrote:
Professor X wrote:
chinadoll wrote:
Petedacook wrote:
A bit of advice about strippers in general can be gained from the Duke rape case…the girl had DNA from 2 different men in her, and the 2 men were not involved in the rape case.

I was at a bachelor party where a stripper stuck a lollipop in her vagina, then into this guys mouth, as well as other things like taking a life saver off his nose and dropping it in his mouth. I reminded him of what the girl may have been doing prior to the show, and he promptly vomited.

oh that’s so gross

I’ve seen worse. It involves a stripper, a coke bottle, a 20 dollar bill, a string of pearls, and about 6 fraternity brothers.

Do tell, please.
[/quote]

Cool:

I believe Jay-Z was playing on the stereo when it was discovered that she had the pearls already stuffed up her vagina. As she contorted her body and jiggled her bootie to “Big Pimpin’” and hit the widest spread eagle known to God and man, she slowly gave birth the longest necklace I’ve seen since Jibbs “Chain Hang low” video. She proceeded to throw the pearls around the neck of “frat brother #1” as she gave him a 20 dollar lap dance…that he tried to take for a 60 dollar ride…and nearly reached his destination.

Being the nasty brother that he is, he also took her on the challenge of reverse drinking the coke she had taken from “brother #2” and slammed into her southern region. She “drank” the whole thing…and he drank the whole thing back. He then shoved another Andrew jackson up her snatch when she decided it would be a great time to impersonate an ATM machine…so she retracted the bill and rejected it a few times. She then licked it…with purpose. I don’t have to tell you how much random crap dollar bills collect.

According to snopes, one 1985 study done by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration on the money machines in a U.S. Federal Reserve district bank, random samples of $50 and $100 bills revealed that a third to a half of all the currency tested bore traces of cocaine.

Either way, I am sure she got high that night.

Of course, I heard all of this from someone else as I was never involved and would never associate with such heathenistic actions.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
chinadoll wrote:
Professor X wrote:
chinadoll wrote:
Petedacook wrote:
A bit of advice about strippers in general can be gained from the Duke rape case…the girl had DNA from 2 different men in her, and the 2 men were not involved in the rape case.

I was at a bachelor party where a stripper stuck a lollipop in her vagina, then into this guys mouth, as well as other things like taking a life saver off his nose and dropping it in his mouth. I reminded him of what the girl may have been doing prior to the show, and he promptly vomited.

oh that’s so gross

I’ve seen worse. It involves a stripper, a coke bottle, a 20 dollar bill, a string of pearls, and about 6 fraternity brothers.

Do tell, please.

Cool:

I believe Jay-Z was playing on the stereo when it was discovered that she had the pearls already stuffed up her vagina. As she contorted her body and jiggled her bootie to “Big Pimpin’” and hit the widest spread eagle known to God and man, she slowly gave birth the longest necklace I’ve seen since Jibbs “Chain Hang low” video. She proceeded to throw the pearls around the neck of “frat brother #1” as she gave him a 20 dollar lap dance…that he tried to take for a 60 dollar ride…and nearly reached his detination.

Being the nasty brother that he is, he also took her on the challenge of reverse drinking the coke she had taken from “brother #2” and slammed into her southern region. She “drank” the whole thing…and he drank the whole thing back. He then shoved another Andrew jackson up her snatch when she decided it would be a great time to impersonate an ATM machine…so she retracted the bill and rejected it a few times. She then licked it…with purpose. I don’t have to tell you how much random crap dollar bills collect.

According to snopes, one 1985 study done by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration on the money machines in a U.S. Federal Reserve district bank, random samples of $50 and $100 bills revealed that a third to a half of all the currency tested bore traces of cocaine.

Either way, I am sure she got high that night.

Of course, I heard all of this from someone else as I was never involved and would never associate with such heathenistic actions.[/quote]

Now that is a good story.

huh… so she gave the frat guy a pearl necklace… that’s different.

[quote]Imen de Naars wrote:
BigRagoo wrote:
Imen de Naars wrote:
Yeah. Women like boners.

Well it’s kinda hard to have sex without one.

Yes, that’s why they like them.
[/quote]
The Sisters of Sappho have been doing just fine having sex without boners for centuries, or havent you heard? (Modern technology has produced rubber faux phalli for the cultists of Lesbos, however if they must use a physical substitute, E.D. will not be tolerated)…

Who can remember 18?

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Cool:

I believe Jay-Z was playing on the stereo when it was discovered that she had the pearls already stuffed up her vagina. As she contorted her body and jiggled her bootie to “Big Pimpin’” and hit the widest spread eagle known to God and man, she slowly gave birth the longest necklace I’ve seen since Jibbs “Chain Hang low” video. She proceeded to throw the pearls around the neck of “frat brother #1” as she gave him a 20 dollar lap dance…that he tried to take for a 60 dollar ride…and nearly reached his destination.

Being the nasty brother that he is, he also took her on the challenge of reverse drinking the coke she had taken from “brother #2” and slammed into her southern region. She “drank” the whole thing…and he drank the whole thing back. He then shoved another Andrew jackson up her snatch when she decided it would be a great time to impersonate an ATM machine…so she retracted the bill and rejected it a few times. She then licked it…with purpose. I don’t have to tell you how much random crap dollar bills collect.

According to snopes, one 1985 study done by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration on the money machines in a U.S. Federal Reserve district bank, random samples of $50 and $100 bills revealed that a third to a half of all the currency tested bore traces of cocaine.

Either way, I am sure she got high that night.

Of course, I heard all of this from someone else as I was never involved and would never associate with such heathenistic actions.[/quote]

OMG, thank you Professor X for sharing. Not having any idea what goes on in strip clubs, I’ve always wondered what p*ssy tricks occur there. What amazing feats of superhuman skill those girls have!

[quote]chinadoll wrote:
OMG, thank you Professor X for sharing. Not having any idea what goes on in strip clubs, I’ve always wondered what p*ssy tricks occur there. What amazing feats of superhuman skill those girls have!
[/quote]

Who said anything about a stripclub?

Here’s the big question…was it a 20oz. Coke, or a two liter???

I’m thirsty now.

listen here you fuckass bitch…i spent my 21ST BIRTHDAY sitting here at home in a dark room at the computer, because i have no one at all. don’t give me that shit…

[quote]lifter85 wrote:
listen here you fuckass bitch…i spent my 21ST BIRTHDAY sitting here at home in a dark room at the computer, because i have no one at all. don’t give me that shit…[/quote]

LOL
That was the funniest shit I have read in a long time.

haha im with lazyaxus, that definately was funny shit.
Oh and Peatadock (sorry for spellin) story that was funny shit 2. AND haha I liked professor X…good thread.