T Nation

My Gym Rant!

Sorry, in need of a rant here, so I apologize in advance. Anyways, I’m at the gym yesterday and this pack of 15 year old kids comes cruising in wearing jeans and skate shoes, every one of them on their cell phones. Don’t get me wrong, skate shoes, jeans, and cell-phones all have their place; just not in the gym.

I immediately just turned up my I-pod and ignored them for a while until something caught my eye. All three of them are now taking their shirts off to work out. I thought for one second I was watching a documentry about holocaust survivors, because I saw more ribs in that second then on all you can eat baby-back night at Tony Romas. So I finish my set, rack the weight, and I see that they are all just standing around the bench (shirts off), talking and pushing each other around, no weight loaded (not that I blame them, the bar had a larger diameter than their legs), occasionally flexing in the mirror. At this point, I had to find out what their conversation was about.

About 10 seconds, and a few hundred brain cells later, I realize that ‘alpha’ of the group is harping on the little one because he can’t bench the bar. So, of course, the little one (maybe 95lbs) comes back with, “oh yea?! well at least I can fight!”. Then the list starts… “I kicked his ass, and his ass, and his ass”… on and on… must have listed more people than were in my graduating class. The ‘alpha’ of course comes back with his list, which was of course, longer and more detailed.

I-pod goes right back on at this point.

Then something happened. That little thing that reminds you every now and again, everything is going to be alright, there is a God, the sun will rise tomorrow, take your pick… At this point they are now standing in a cirle, throwing (yes I said throwing) a 25lb weight around between them, grunting like they are working hard, just basically making fun of anyone who is acting serious at the gym. And then it happened. Clouds parted, angels started singing, I think I even heard harps. The ‘alpha’ drops the 25lb weight on his foot, and breaks it(his foot, not the weight). Staff members are all around, he is crying for mommy, and I am laughing my ass off.

As he is being carried out of the gym, he sees me with this look of delight on my face, and right then, he made my day. Everything shitty went away at just that moment. That very moment when he yelled out, “I’ll kick your ass!”.

Call me a dick, but that was the best thing that has happened to me all week.

The End

I live for days like these; but then I remind myself they are just young, dumb teens surging with testosterone–it’s not their fault. Blame their parents.

We have a ton of these in my “Family Gym”. They talk all day and gather in groups. Plain stupid. There are a few HS football players who actually work out.

My gym is mostly lame. It has about 15 bench presses and 2 power racks. The power racks are in the corner away from it all. This is where I do my most of my work.

Unfortunately the alpha male will be back once his foot is healed

I wish my gym had people like that… my gym has the words “fitness,” “health,” AND “center” in the title, yet the only retards that curl in the squat rack are 30-40 year old men with ARMY sweatshirts.