So, she spends about 2 nights a week playing water polo, and 1 or 2 nights per week volunteering with the league? I was thinking this is perfect! You can to the gym and she won’t give you grief about it. As Emily said, it may be more of a complaint that she’s not prioritizing and contributing to the relationship in terms of time, money, and shared work like cooking and cleaning? Differences in socioeconomic and educational goals? And differences in how you want to spend your leisure/ play time?
You mentioned incomes and contributing to shared expenses. No kids. So is it a matter of you making a lot more money, or does she not work very much/ very hard? I assume she’s not in grad school or something? Just wondering if it’s a matter of not respecting her because she doesn’t have a strong work ethic, or something else here.
Just a couple of thoughts. Contentment can be good. We tend to put a high value on self-improvement and striving for something better, pushing for more and bigger. Sometimes we do this at the expense of being happy where you are, being content in the moment. Contentment may be described as laziness or a lack of drive by someone else, right? Not being a super career-oriented woman can be fine, great even, at least for some men. Not being a super materialistic person can also be good. It’s all a matter of compatibility in terms of what you both want. I guess I’m saying that shared priorities and goals don’t always mean that there isn’t a division of labor, but if you feel she isn’t contributing in meaningful ways and you don’t share some fundamental views about what you want out of life, that’s problematic.
Sorry, your post slipped me.
To answer your questions;
You are right, its more of a complaint of socioeconomic goals. I suppose the difference is because how we were brought up. I was brought up by migrant parents who were, and still are hard working, in the aim of making tomorrow better/easier.
We don’t have any kids, and she is defiantly not lazy. To be fair she does probably does more than her fair share of cooking etc., although I feel that I cook better and when I clean, I clean things better. Im going to get flamed for this. I suppose one major concern is that if we do have kids, I want them to be brought up as ambitious, educated etc etc.
You make an interesting point about contentment, and the issue of contentment is something that I have to work out for myself at the moment.