T Nation

My Girlfriend is Uncomfortably Close with her Coach


#1

I am currently deployed to the middle east, and about 4 months into my deployment I find out my girlfriend of 4 years has a bodybuilding coach. She developed an interest in bodybuilding since I’ve been gone. We had gone to the gym together before I left but it became a bit of an obsession for her while I was gone. She barely even talks to me when we have the chance. Then I find out she made friends with a guy at the gym and then he started coaching her. She tried to hide it that they went out to dinner together but eventually came clean. I looked at our phone records (I know breach of trust and privacy) and she is talking to him multiple times a day and at all hours of the day. When I asked about it she got really defensive and said he’s just a friend. I did apologize for breaking her trust. I also found out he is another Marine which makes me even more uncomfortable. I’ve been reading T-Nation for a while and this is my first post. I just wanted opinions from like minded individuals.


#2

#3

definitely banging. Time to move on.


#4

Coach Jody is fucking your girl, drinking your booze, has your wallet, and driving your truck. Don’t be mad; he saved you much worse heartache down the road.

Move on, soldier (or Marine or whatever you are). Been there, done that, be nice.

The best approach for a chick like this is to ghost her. Just disappear.


#5

Thank you for your service. While I can understand that your wife is stressed and lonely in your absence, it doesn’t sound like she dealing well with those feelings. May I suggest you explore what counseling services are available (does the service offer remote couples counseling? I honestly don’t know). This needs to be done sooner rather than later.

Best of luck, and thanks again.


#6

yeah man like eye dentist mentioned, mflac(if you trust them) can get with you, and get separately. The way I see it is that what ever happened, or is happening or will happen, is gunna happen no matter what you do. I know thats not ideal to hear, but its true. You can’t change it. Is this worth your time, patience, attention? Is she worth it to you to potentially ignore what MIGHT be verse what might NOT be? I take myself out of the situation and view it as if it were somebody else, that way I can be rational and put my personal thoughts aside. The other side of this is that she did develop a friend. And thats all it is. Friends can go out and eat, maybe she didn’t want you to think its anything more than it really is. The point is you’ll never know until she tells you. Don’t jump to ruin something that might be great. Im at the point that I’m obsessed with the gym and fitness, Im capable of having female friends that also do it, or in general and not be anything more than that. Just ask her to be honest with you about it. Take a step back, play out different scenarios in your head, find what works the best for you to resolve the issue with both her and yourself.


#7

Put a GPS tracker in her car.

And go deadlift.


#8

Chicks don’t become secretive and defensive when they just make a new friend…


#9

Coach Jody doing it again. In all seriousness, nothing might have happened, but guys don’t talk to girls on the phone multiple times without trying to get after it. She might just be using him for attention and not even be about it, but it’s still not on the level.

Take it from someone else who was away from home more than not because of work. If she’s got you to the point you’re looking at call records, something ain’t right. Seen more than a few roughnecks in the same spot.


#10

this always irks me. She’s trash, move on


#11

#12

She refuses to do counseling but I’ve been seeking some the best that I can. Thanks


#13

Thanks for all the advice. I will have to think about whether the juice is worth the squeeze at this point. I’ve committed the last 4 years of my life to her but I’m not going to play second fiddle.


#14

Since you’ve gone this far. Call the “coach” and ask him what’s up. You have his phone number. Ask him jarhead to jarhead.

Even if he lies to you, you just made it weird for him to pursue her. Because after having a conversation, now he “knows” you. You aren’t just a concept to him.

Also save all the evidence you’ve collected so far somewhere she can’t wipe or alter it. Might come in handy if this makes it to divorce court.


#15

Thankfully we aren’t married so I won’t have to worry about losing half of my shit. I thought about calling him but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction that it bothers me.


#16

I can see that. Perhaps more of a “just the facts” conversation. No emotion or marking your territory.

“Hey bud, it has come to my attention you’re spending a great deal of time with Susan. Just out of curiosity, is it serious? Are you sleeping with her yet?”

Then shut up. Let him tie himself in knots.


#17

You answered your own questions, it’s over.


#18

Time to move on, Devil.


#19

This (assuming per day)


#20

No, no, no, no, no. MFLAC is not remotely trustworthy. It’s like going to a shrink and they put the results in not only your work record but it becomes a government file where it can impede lots of things, like weapon possession in civilian life.

It’s basically a man-bashing group, run by angry lesbians and feminists who always take the side of the female.

Too many people I know have had their careers ruined by them. They will take the woman’s side and encourage false tales of domestic violence and simply destroy the serviceman.

Moreover, even if MFLAC wasn’t a man-hater society, there is not point in “counseling” with an unfaithful chick. She’s not meant to be with deployed person. She’s selfish and shallow and not worth it.

The best revenge you can have against her is not caring. Cut her ass off and forget her. Have your parents come get your stuff if you share a house or whatever.