T Nation

My girl doesn't like sex =(

No, it’s not as bad as the tagline may appear, but my girlfriend and I have had sex four times now and she was a virgin before me, so I understand to an extent. She’s still in a lot of pain every time we do the deed, and I was wondering how long this is gonna last. She also doesn’t like it when I finger her, but she does love when I go downtown. Any comments?

You answered your own question. Spend a lot of time “downtown”. It’s one of my favorite places to be!

One, most probable thing-she is not excited enough when you enter her, IE shes dry, and it (presumably) hurts like a bitch. More foreplay could solve your problem. Just dont make sex a bad expirience for her, it could ruin the girls life… Like that CopFan guy. Ugh.

Alternate putting it in her ass and her cunt. That will solve the problem.

Try luricant - lots of lubricant. If you use condoms make sure the lube is oil free. There are some silicone based lubes around which are similar to oil and don’t dry in as the waterbased ones do. Using lube is also fun since you can play around quite a bit, massage her entire pubic area and do other fun stuff :)))

If penetration still hurts she should probably see her gynecologist, might be that she has vaginismus or something like that.


Every woman is different, but I suspect that she is only having sex to please you and not because she really wants to. The pain should’ve gone away by now, unless you are extremely rough in your approach. She may also have emotional issues about the whole sex thing, although then she probably wouldn’t want the downtown either. Is she a great deal smaller than you? Does she initiate the sex? Does she really want to have sex, or is she doing this because she thinks you will be disappointed if she doesn’t? Lots of questions. Downtown is a lot gentler than intercourse and maybe that’s why she prefers it. It takes a while for women to really enjoy sex, so be patient.

I smell a nutcase here. Wait a bit and reasess the situation, if it does not improve, do yourself a favor and dump her. Why should you be someone’s psychiatrist or sexual counselor? Let her find another jackass.

Don’t take Unger’s advice, do NOT alternate putting in her cunt and ass. That is not good.

Just give her a little time and take it slow. Once she gets used to it, she’ll like it. Just don’t force her to do anything that she doesn’t want to do.

Just do what Rookie did…dump her(but to be true to the form, you should have dumped her after the first time).

hmmmm…she seems to like it alot with me!!!..just kidding :slight_smile:

Yeah, you should probably just stick with putting it in her ass. Alternating isn’t as good, unless it’s from her ass into her mouth.

Yeah don’t do what Unger says. There’s all that E Coli up her butt & her cooter will get infected.

here’s a great quote I read somewhere: “Sexual desire is the remmemberance of past experiences.” In other words… make it good and she’ll want more. Course you could change that to any kinda desire as well, say it to a group of friends and have them think youre all so smart. ROXOR ON!

Maybe the bear is too big for his cave, if you know what I mean. Try eating her out for a bit before sliding your bear in! That should improve your chances of causing pleasure, rather than pain. I’m a teenager, I know these things! :wink:

Uh oh… here comes a ‘girl’ comment. How long what is gonna last? The relationship? If she gets an inkling that your realtionship is hinged on her enjoying sex you’re doomed. You were her first, and most women consider that important. If you pressured her into it (and I’m not saying you did) she may be unhappy about her decision and that is not letting her enjoy sex. She likes oral? Start there… make sure she is happy and staisfied and comfortable, then initiate sex. That may help. If she isn’t very wet, get some lube (ID Glide is excellent stuff) friction may be causing her discomfort.


Try talking to her about it. Let her know you don’t have to have sex to be with her. Listen to what she has to say, because if she feels pressured you’re on the way out. Psycological issues can ruin sex for women, especially early on.

Dump Her!!!

“Let her know you don’t have to have sex to be with her” No, he is with her because of her witty character and jolly nature. If there is no sex, he can hang out with his buddies, they are probably much more fun to be around anyway. This would be nothing more than a plain lie - great for a major disaster down the road…

So the absolute ONLY reason you want the company of a girl is for sex and sex alone??? You don’t think they have anything else to offer in terms of companionship??? Are you nuts???