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My Death and Rebirth - Chapter 1: Nemesis

I am killing myself.

The realization that I am killing myself just dawned on me. Since fifth grade I have had some extra pounds, I am 28.5 now, so I can safely say that most of my memories are of me being overweight.

Its being a while since I have visited the site. I came across the Physique Clinic articles and read about bartl and novagreg’s adventures. It was interesting seeing them change, especially Bartl his change was phenomenal.

I was hooked, I spend 6 hours reading their posts, cutting and pasting their workouts and nutrition so I can reverse engineer it and use it for my transformation.

Thib’s transformation article is still saved in my bookmarks.

I have been thinking a lot about Shugart’s article on the Psychology of Physical Rebirth. The thing is I do not experience emotional spikes. I am never to happy or sad, which also means I never get angry.

Shit has happened in my life, things that made me uncomfortable or vulnerable…I love the beach yet I never swim, being shirtless really bothers me. I went on a date with a really attractive girl and we were going to go to the Ferris Wheel only to realize that I do not fit in the safety bars so I could not be on the ride.

Things like that just become memories, they suck, but they have never fueled my spark.

I was checking my profile so I was curious to see my 18 posts…and I came across this post of mine written on 10/11/06 (a day after my birthday)

[quote]I am fat. This is not the girly type of fat, its not 5 pounds that I got to lose, I weigh 255 pounds and I am 5’10". What I am trying to do is change my lifestyle.

I have identified my sticking point to cooking. I can make myself go to the gym 5 times a week, but I eat like crap, which produces no body change, which in turn depresses me, which in turn takes my motivation away from working out.

I know its a problem, I keep restarting my work out and I keep messing up my meals. Today was my birthday, the only thing I did was hang out with my roommate…and ate a lot.

Tonight I am going to sleep and tomorrow I am going to get up and try to change my life forever. I am tired of being a loser, I always come last in everything I do. My IQ is 150, classified under super genius, yet I have problems with the way I eat. Its pathetic.

I am getting sidetracked, what I am trying to say is my life sucks, and I know its my fault. Becoming 27 today made me realize that I keep getting older and hide behind excuses.

What pretty much all of you said was, suck it up, if that is what you want to do you should be able to do it, just plan a little and spend some time cooking.

And that is exactly what my plan is going to be.

  • Niko

Sounded pretty convincing right?

…so now I am 28.5, one and a half years later I weight 275…well that is just a guess I am afraid to get on the scale. Maybe I am 280 or more who knows.

And this realization was my click. What has fueled me today. I am getting fatter and fatter soon I will be more than 100 pounds overweight, if I am not already.

I can either give up and become one of those freaks that lie on a bed unable to move or I can do something about it.

I am doing something about it.

This is it.

There is a quote I read once:

“The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want most for what they want at the moment.”

Fuck the moment, I am going to get what I want the most, a six pack.

You have your Phoenix moment.

Now what are you going to do about it? What is the next step?

This is what I am doing about it…

Yesterday night I kept waking up. I was excited for this morning. I knew it was going to be my first strong step towards a leaner me.

I woke up today about an hour and a half earlier than I usually do. Took my Heart Rate, body temperature…and then I looked at my scale. All nice and new, barely used.

I know what happens when I step on the scale. I see my weight, get depressed and do not weigh myself for another year. After taking a deep breath I stepped on it…

HR: 72
Temp: 94.6
Weight: 286.8

This time it was different though. This time I know those damn numbers are going to start going down. I won’t stop, no matter what. I have to do this for myself

In the meantime…damn I am fat.

After that I got dressed and with my brand new snickers that I bought yesterday went for an hour walk. Amusingly I ended up selecting Machine Head - Burning Red as the music to listen to. First song of that album…

Enter the Phoenix

With a spring in my step I started walking. I must admit for walking it was not as easy as I expected. Granted I did walk for about 2.5 miles but still. My right calf muscle started hurting, this used to happen to me when I played Racquetball, its the outside part of my right calf muscle that gets sore the quickest.

I stretch my calf muscles three or four times while I was walking and it helped a little bit. In the end though I just walked with the pain. Its good for me, builds character :slight_smile:

When I was about 500 yds away from home I realized how hungry I was, and tired. Part of me wanted to sit down on the street and order some donuts. That was my old self. My new self said “I am going to do this!” and I did.

Did some stretching when I made it home and debated if I want to take a shower first or eat. Both options were very appealing. I ended up taking a shower first.

For breakfast I ate 4 omega-3 enriched eggs, 1 cup celery and 1 tbsp of organic olive oil, 4 capsules of Flameout. Sounds familiar? Yes its the diet that Bartl and novagreg had to follow. I am just replicating it from the information they posted.

I already have my lunch and dinner prepared. My lunch will be 1 cup of broccoli and 4 oz of ground beef (90%) cooked in 1 tbsp of olive oil. Dinner is 1 cup of lettuce and 4 oz of chicken again cooked in 1 tbsp of olive oil. I also have 4 Flameout capsules that I am going to take with my dinner.

The only thing that bums me out is I have about 8 capsules left for Flameout and now Grow! protein! I have already rush ordered it, so hopefully it will get here tomorrow. In the meantime I will figure something out for my after workout drink.

This is amazing. I am already feeling happier with my life and a slight boost of confidence. I am doing it…I am doing it.

My old fat self would have waited…there is always an excuse. “It’s Friday, I should start my transformation on Monday”. “I do not have a lot of Flameout left…don’t have any Grow!, maybe I should wait to get it first”.

I say, screw that!

I am doing it!

Its 4:00pm and I am having my third meal, 4 oz ground beef, 1 cup of fresh broccoli. I have not been hungry yet, but I usually mess up later in the afternoon.

I have two more hours to go at work, then I will rest for about an hour, get some Surge ready and hit the gym. I have 3 bottles of BCAA so I am planning on mega dosing, 18 tablets which is what Thib recommends. Hopefully I won’t look like a crazy pill popper.

I made it an entire day, followed my schedule to the T.

I had to experiment with the amount of weight I can lift. Some exercises I maxed myself out pretty well. Others I need to raise the weight a little bit.

A note about how I write down my weights. For barbells I write down the weight of the plates and do not include the barbell weight.

For lifting weight with DBs I write the weight of one DB.

A1 Bent Over Row 9x20, 9x30, 7x40, 7x40, 5x50, 5x50
120sec rest
A2 Medium Grip Bench 9x70, 9x80, 7x100, 7x110, 5x120, 5x120
120sec rest
B1 Medium Grip Pulldown 9x100, 8x120,7x140, 6x150
120 sec rest
B2 30 Incline DB Hammer Press 9x30, 9x30, 7x35, 7x35, 5x40, 5x40
C1 Pulldown Supinated Grip 9x130
C2 Standing Shoulder Press 6x35

45 mins on the eliptical trainer.

Pulldown Supinated Grip is an awesome exercise I really like how it made me feel.

Bitch exercise of the day DB Hammer Press…I had to get used to the mechanics of that exercise. Sometimes I would go too vertical and my shoulders would get destroyed if I went too high…my shoulders would get destroyed…After the 2nd set I figured it out, the angle that gives my chest and shoulders a work out.

For my bench press I was surprised I went so high. I am sure it has to do with the grip width allowing my arms to be used more. Since my arms are stronger than my chest muscle that works.

Tempo wise, I am not 100% satisfied with myself. I felt like I was moving too fast at times. I have never worked out with strict tempo so I am sure after a couple of times I am going to get used to it.

Finally, my cardio, it felt good. I really enjoyed listening to Dieselboy and Prodigy it put me in a good repetitive trance. I must admit the last 5 minutes though were torture, not because I was tired, I just wanted to go home. I was starting to feel light headed.

I drank half of my Surge when I was driving to the gym and the other half somewhere around the B exercises. Maybe I should drink it a little bit later so it can carry me through during cardio.

Anyway, came back home, took a shower and drunk my 3 scoops of Metabolic Drive (banana flavor) and 20g glutamine. Oh, and an orange. My roommate brought a bag of oranges from his parents house, they have an orange tree there. It tasted so freaking good.

Based on the time right now I realize I will not get my last meal, which would have been Grow! Whey Protein, which is kind of OK since I am still waiting for it to be delivered (damn back orders :slight_smile: The plan was to drink some more Metabolic Drive but in any case I am about to go to sleep.

The good news about the last meal business is that today I got hungry between my dinner and my Surge drinking, which means I can squeeze in my protein shake in between the two and then have a pre bed protein shake.

I am happy this is working out. Keeping my daily cooking time to 30 mins a day has made this easy.

Off to sleep I go.

HR: 78
Temp: 96.1
Weight: 285.6

That’s right, I already lost a pound. =) Rock on!

Woke up today and went straight for an hour walk. Surprisingly my right calf muscle did not hurt until the very end. I found that kind of bizarre. Perhaps my nutrition is assisting my body in functioning better gasp

For breakfast I had:
4 omega-3 eggs, 1 cup of celery, 1 tbsp of olive oil
4 flame out
1 cup of green tea

What sucks is I have four flame out capsules left after that I need to wait for my Biotest order to come in. They are shipping it on the 2nd, so it should get here on Wednesday. I do not know if I should a) go buy some cheap us fish oil capsules in the meantime or b) just wait.

I have a day to figure it out I guess.

Today was my first real test of commitment my roommate wanted to go to Subway, which of course it was tempting, but I resisted the urge. I am kind of exaggerating, I did not even have an urge, I just knew I had to stick with this so I just did.

Later today when I am having my protein shake I am going to mix 2 scoops of banana flavor Metabolic Drive with 1 scoop of chocolate flavor. Something tells me it will come out real well.

At some point this afternoon I will be hitting the gym for leg day and hopefully another session of 45 minute cardio. Yesterday I burnt 315 calories from my 45 minute cardio alone.

good luck

Congrats on the decision to change your life. I recently took a similar journey from around 265 down to 218 and I’m still pushing hard. You can do it. Just keep your mind focused on success.

Thanks to both comments!

Brick Top how long did it take you to go down to the weight you are in?

I am so proud of myself today. My roommates ordered pizza, my favorite kind. To make things worse they received it 30 mins before my scheduled meal so I was hungry. But I resisted, I did not even have a bite. It smelled damn good.

I think my cheat meal…whenever I allow myself to have one is going to be wings and pizza =) However I will not have a cheat meal for a while so it will have to wait.

Food wise, after my breakfast I ate
1 cup of lettuce, 4 oz chicken, 1 tbsp of olive oil

The chicken came out really good, I applied salt to it by rolling the chicken in my hand that had a pinch of salt in it. I think it made it stick to the chicken better…maybe I just got lucky.

After that I had 3 scoops of Metabolic Drive. I tried my 2 banana one chocolate scoop idea, but it did not come out well. Its like the two tastes were battling and no one won. I have one more meal left which would normally be Grow! but for now it will be another 3 scoops of Metabolic Drive.

I had my chocolate flavored Surge for my workout and 18 BCAA. Actually I thought I had 18 with me for some reason I only found 15. So either I ate more than 6 at some point of my workout or I really did just get only 15.

After work out dinner I had
1 medium orange
1 cup of broccoli, 4 oz of ground beef

Oranges have never tasted so well. Either these are really good oranges or maybe I appreciate them more since I am not on a constant sugar high.

Today’s workout was
A1 Squat: 9x90, 9x90, 7x110, 7x100, 5x120, 5x120
A2 Romanian Deadlift 9x50, 9x50, 7x60, 7x50, 5x70, 5x70
B1 Leg Press 9x270, 8x280, 7x290, 6x310
B2 Leg Curl 9x95, 8x115, 7x120, 6x125
C1 Standing Leg Curl 7x22.5 db
C2 Standing Leg Curl 7x45

My legs have never been my strong point when it comes to dealing with my own body weight. Kind of makes sense since 285 are kind of hard to carry around and squat with them. I did try my best though and my heart was pounding so hard after every set.

Deadlifts I also kind of used to suck doing them. I actually when on youtube to see the difference between Romanian and regular deadlifts. Turns out I always lifted Romanian Deadlifts BUT I was using too much of my back, which would cause a lot of soreness. Thanks to the video though I lifted much better.

Still though the combination of Squats and Deadlifts had its toll on my lower back. I think due to my belly area the bio-mechanics of my body are a bit off so it makes it hard to keep my back straight without my stomach touching my legs a bit uhm…prematurely. Silly bellies.

I was impressed how much I could lift for the leg press even though it makes logical sense. I had just never done that exercise ever before.

The Leg Curls I kind of missed my mark and went too light in the beginning thus the big jump in pounds but at least I will know for next time.

And my standing Leg Curl…man I was way off 45 pounds was way too light.

I finished my work out with 45 mins of cardio on the elliptical trainer on resistance 3, burned about 330 cals from that alone. Elite XC was playing on Showtime so it made my cardio much more enjoyable. I have been a big MMA fine before it ever became popular and to this day its the only sport I follow. Ask me about the main pitcher of the San Diego Padres and I have no idea. Ask me about any MMA fighters in UFC, Pride, Dream, WEC, Elite XC and I will tell you all about them.

After my cardio I knew that my nervous system was overloaded. I could feel my mental capacities and reflexes being lower I cannot even imagine how I would have felt without Surge and my BCAAs.

Random happening of the day was my roommate came with me to the gym with his own car since I spend 2 hours in the gym these past couple of days and his stereo, wallet and a bunch of other stuff got stolen from the parking lot. Which really sucks. Apparently thefts have been happening a lot there.

So I either will start going to a new 24 fitness…which sucks cause I think they are further away or join a small gym that’s closer to my house. I have not made up my mind yet. Lets see if I will be motivated enough tomorrow to go check out the small gym tomorrow.

Anyway, its 12:10am right now and I should head to Vons to buy some eggs because if I end up going for my fasted morning walk and come back I will be starving. I do not want to open myself up for a slip up because of low food availability.

Let me start with Sunday.

Really busy day, but I still managed to keep my schedule. I went for a walk in the morning and my roommate came along with his dog, so it made it a bit more entertaining.

I also went for an hour walk at night. So I did a solid two hours of cardio yesterday.

Food wise I ate the following
breakfast: 4 eggs, 1 cup celery, 1/2 cup feta cheese, 1 tbsp olive oil
lunch: 4 oz chicken, 1 cup letture, 1 tbsp olive oil
dinner: 4 oz sirloin, 1 cup brocolli, 1 tbsp olive oil
meal 4: 1 orange, 3 scoops Metabolic Drive, 20g glutamine, 1 tbsp cream

It seems I can never get my fifth meal in, I probably have to eat a little bit more frequently. Anyway my steak tasted really good. I think its the best steak I have cooked up to date. It was small obviously but perfectly cooked, the pepper and salt really brought out its taste.

Speaking of taste, I have noticed already a difference in the way I smell and taste food. First of all going to the grocery store I could smell the nectarines and strawberries.

Taste wise I have been enjoying my food a lot more. I do not know if its the size or the nutritional content of the food but I have noticed that I eat slower and enjoy the different flavors. I am one of those super fast eaters but ever since I started this, which granted it has not even been a week yet I sit down and enjoy my meals.

On other news I am out of Omega-3s. I think Biotest is sending my Flameout and Grow! Whey today, hopefully it will be here soon. Because of that I added Feta cheese to my breakfast. I checked and its only 2g of carbs so it should be ok. Even though I must admit that my weight today is the same as yesterday 283.8, but that still means I have lost 3 pounds in 3 days. I am at work right now so I will post my morning stats later today.

I did get to check out that gym yesterday. Its more spacious than I expected and its only $19/month compared to my 24 hour fitness which is close to $40/month. I am still a little bit apprehensive about them though. Small size + lots of people could suck. So I will keep both subscriptions open for this month and just go to the new gym.

This whole gym business might be temporary anyway since I am applying to a new job today and its located in Philadelphia. I miss East Coast so this is the perfect opportunity to go back.

You’re doing great. Keep it up. Just my $.02… I’d cut back on how often you weigh yourself. It’s terribly hard to do, I know. But it 1) teaches you self control 2) makes you appreciate your weight loss that much more and 3) doesn’t allow you to get bummed when you hit 3 or 4 day plateaus.

Regarding my weight loss… It took me about 6 months to cut down to my current weight. It was a long struggle with a LOT of mistakes, but I’m still here. You name it I messed it up. Over training, under training, breaking my diet, becoming mentally stressed out, etc etc. But oh well. I got through it. Just think how much faster you’ll lose weight and build muscle if you stick to your guns and take advantage of T-Nation’s endless amount of info. You can blow right past me.

By the way… have you considered doing the Velocity Diet at some point?

Bricktop, thanks for the reply. Yesterday I could not get into my work out. Today I am really hungry for no reason. Couple that with not losing weight for three days I was starting to think about pizza and cheesecake.

One of the things I am trying to do is follow Bartl’s diet and workout regime. I am not sure if its a mistake or not yet. The way I see it, working out, going for walks every day and eating healthy is not going to hurt me even if I do not achieve optimal results.

As far as the Velocity diet goes. I am not sure maybe in time. I am a person of extremes but I have come to realize that going to the extreme tends to burn you out. I am not going to say no to the V-Diet outright, because I might change my mind but for now I rather enjoy my broccoli and chicken.

As an update, I have not been slacking off, my food intake and my walks / workouts have been on the spot. Only thing is I am still waiting for my Flameout. This past couple of days I have felt hungrier more often and yesterday’s arm workout I could not concentrate well.

Anyway I need to post my morning stats and yesterday’s work out when I get home. I am taking today off in terms of doing exercise. I figure having one day off a week will allow my body some rest.

Its feels awesome to feel sore. Makes me feel like I accomplished something.

First of all my stats:
Temp: 95.5
HR: 72
Weight 283.8

Temp: 95.2
HR: 80

Temp: 95.2
HR: 70
Weight: 283.8

Yeah weird, its like my weight is stuck. I do think my heart rate monitor is not very accurate. It sucks because I spent about $70 on it. Anyway, yeah my weight stuck at 283.8 I think I am going to take the advice given to me and I am going to weight myself once a week, along with my measurements.

Diet wise I ate what I have been eating everyday. Only difference is no Flame out. I added some Feta cheese since its low on carbs, 2g per serving and high in fat to kind of keep the fat content there for my breakfast. Other than that I do not know what could be wrong.

Yesterday I walked in the morning and then went to the gym in the afternoon doing the following:

A1) Close Grip Incline Bench – 9x50, 9x60, 7x80, 7x80, 5x90, 5x90
3-0-1-0 tempo, 120 sec rest
A2) Barbell Preacher Curl – 9x20, 9x30, 7x40, 7x40, 5x50…
4-0-1-0 tempo, 120 sec rest

My wrist started hurting here. They always hurt when I do preacher curls. I think the biomechanics of my wrist are a little bit off compared to most people. So I did DB preacher curl 5x30 on each arm

B1) DB Skullcrushers, Hammer Grip – 9x20, 8x30, 7x40, 6x50
4-0-1-0 tempo, 120 sec rest
B2) Standing Rope Curl – 9x40, 8x50, 7x65, 6x75
3-0-1-0 tempo, 120 sec rest
C1) Wrist Curl - 9x20
2-0-1-1 tempo, 90 sec rest
C2) Reverse Grip Curl – 9x10
3-0-1-0 tempo, 90 sec rest

I felt off for this work out. I lacked concentration. The only exercise I feel I did well in was A1.

The preacher exercise hurt my wrists, I even tried using a different grip but it was still painful. It almost feels like someone is twisting my arm or something. I think from now on I will stick with DB preacher curls.

For B1 I ended up going too heavy for my last set of 6. Amusingly for B2 I went too light for the first three sets. Its part of the whole calibration process I guess. Once I start though I do not want to stop change the weight and start from the beginning. I am not savvy enough yet to realize if I will be able to lift a weight for 8 times or 10 with ease.

I really liked the wrist/forearm workout. I tend to not do direct forearm exercise so it was a nice change.

I still think my tempo needs some work. Perhaps I should lower the weight a little bit so I can have more control movements. When I do follow the tempo I do feel a more intense burn in my muscles, it almost feels like they are getting tighter.

I think another thing I need to work on is having better mind to muscle connection. Some muscles I have a bit of a problem concentrating on and tightening them at the proper time. Its a time/practice thing so I am sure it will come in time.

One of my co-workers was impressed that I am sticking to my diet. Its kind of nice that people are slowly not asking me to go out and eat with them, they are being respectful which is a surprise. One of my other co-workers lots about 30 pounds lately on one of his diets so perhaps they got used to him. Whatever the reason its cool.

I brought my omelet to work today because I had time to cook it but not eat it and everyone around me was talking about how good it smelled. I guess I am becoming a better cook since I keep practicing on the same meals.

I definitely make my steak a bit juicer now and my chicken is soft. Speaking of chicken one of my co-workers brought me some smoked chicken they had prepared yesterday so I ate that instead of my chicken and ate what I cooked today instead. It was a nice, different taste while still maintaining my diet.

Temp: 95.1
HR: 70

Temp: 95.7
HR: 80

I have no idea why my heart rate was this high. I did it twice both times it came up that high.

Anyway, yesterday I finally received my Grow! Whey, unfortunately still no Flame Out, its still back ordered…it sucks a lot. The old me would use this as an excuse and stop until it came. But I am killing that part of me.

Yesterday I followed my diet perfectly, even though I must admit Grow was hard to drink…I do not know if it was the glutamine, the milk or the protein shake, but boy was it rough.

I thoroughly enjoyed my orange. Maybe I should throw my orange in the shake, perhaps it will add a bit more taste. I am not sure if that is a good idea the last thing I want is a bad tasting shake and no orange to eat :slight_smile:

Food wise yesterday:

4 eggs, 1 cup celery, 1 tbsp olive oil
4 oz sirloin, 1 cup of raw broccoli, 1 tbsp of olive oil
4 oz chicken, 1 cup of lettuce, 1 tbsp of olive oil
3 scoops Metabolic Drive
1 scoop Surge
3 scoops grow + 20g gluatmine + 1 tbsp of cream
1 orange

sigh, today sucked, I put salt in my omelet twice or something it tasted horrible and I did not realize that until I got to work. I kind of panicked since I was hungry I did not want to get on a rampage. I ended up eating my 4oz of sirloin, 1 cup of broccoli for breakfast.

Then for lunch I was starving, almost felt dizzy my whole schedule was off. I ended up having some Indian food, which obviously is not part of my diet plan, but I did eat a very limited quantity of it, I guess I can consider this a cheat meal.

Then I had
3 scoops Metabolic Drive
1 orange

Yesterday’s workout:
A1) Incline DB Press – reps: 12-15
3-0-1-0 tempo
A2) Leg Press – reps: 15-20
4-0-1-0 tempo
A3) DB Row – reps: 12-15
2-0-1-0 tempo
A4) Lunges – reps: 12-15
2-0-1-0 tempo
A5) Barbell Curl: reps 12-15

A1: 15x32.5, 15x32.5, 15x32.5, 15x32.5
A2: 15x270, 15x270, 15x270, 15x270
A3: 12x40, 15x40, 15x40, 15x40
A4: 12x15, 12x17.5, 12x15, 12x12
A5: 12x25, 15x25, 12x25, 12x25

I did this in a circuit way A1-A5 without rest. I must admit by A5 my heart felt like it was going to explode. There was a really fit marine right next to me, the kind of guy you see and say to yourself “man I wish that was my body” and I kind of felt like he respected me for what I was doing. He did not say anything, but he was kind of I don’t, it felt like he was giving me some respect.

My problem here was I did not know if Bartl took a break between A5 to A1 or not. I went the wuss way and I did for about a minute and then I did the cycle a total of four times. I felt like throwing up.

I remember working on my DB Row for the last round and thinking I was going to pass out…that I can’t do it, but I knew I could. After all my trapezius muscles had plenty of time to rest, it was just my blood flow and my heart having to do more work.

About a gallon of sweat later I got done. I got on the elliptical trainer, resistance 3 again and did steady cardio for 45 minutes. About 340 calories burned from cardio alone.

Today, I did not even go for a walk. I am still really sore from yesterday. I also looked at Bartl’s beginning workout and even though he did cardio on off days that was not always the case. I still want to walk every morning for an hour. I think it gives me a good start and clears up my mind.

Oh I forgot to mention, yesterday I really focused on tempo, I felt a much bigger burn, and perhaps why my work out was so difficult.

Emotionally I feel great. I know I am doing better than I have ever done. I think one of the keys is the simplicity of my meals. Its limited so it makes my choices easy. I play around with spices and style of cooking but is pretty much it.

The habits are starting to form, when it gets 10:00pm I know its time to start getting my meals ready for the next day. I was so proud of myself when I realized that I subconsciously stopped being on my computer to get ready for cooking yesterday. I literary went to the kitchen and thought to myself, why the hell did I come here? It dawned on me that it was 10:00.

So yes good routine :wink: Next week, which for me starts tomorrow I am going to try to focus on tempo. Thib told Bartl to raise the weight even by a little bit. I think in my case if I focus on tempo it will be like I am lifting more. It felt like it at least yesterday. Plus this week I will know how much I can lift a lot better so I will not under or overshoot by more than 5 pounds.

Tomorrow the plan is to walk for an hour in the morning, work out in the afternoon and do my 45 minute cardio. Then I am having my actual cheat meal for doing so well this whole week. After this cheat meal I am not going to have one for another two three weeks.

Hopefully its not a mistake, but then again, I am so terrified that I will fall of the wagon and become even more fat that I will not let myself slip up.


Niko, keep up the good work, things are looking good so far. One thing…take out the Orange. Its un-needed carbs at this point.

And as for the post regarding your cheat meal. I love the idea of giving it to you when you see fit, but wings and pizza? C’mon dude. If you are trying to lose fat, make your cheat meals good the lesser of the evils. Try to make it your self and use fat free ingredients or if you go out, no deep fried food. My first cheat meal was sushi, which while loaded with carbs, is a good cheat meal.

Keep it man…I’m watching you now.

Cheat Meal

I ended up having pizza, no wings. Something happened which I really did not expect…I did not enjoy it. My favorite pizza in the whole wide world and while I was eating it I was thinking about broccoli.

This is surprising, I have been on this diet for a week, not years yet my cheat meal left me unsatisfied. I now realize I am into this lifestyle for life.

I hate how the pizza made me feel when I got done, all heavy, mild heart burn. It made me realize that taste is just that taste. I do not need any more empty carbs ever again.

Bartl you are absolutely right about cheat meals. From now on my cheat meals with be healthy alternatives with perhaps a bit more carbs. Shugs type of recipes, which even though they are healthy they are a little bit higher carb wise for someone like me trying to lose a lot of pounds.

As far as the orange, done deal, no more oranges.

I also need to concentrate a little bit more on making both of my shakes, I almost always end up skipping my Grow Whey shake because I am not hungry and I am getting ready to sleep.

This translates to one thing, I need to eat more frequently. I caught myself at times not eating for four hours. From one point of view that is good, it means I am not hungry, but at the end of the day it builds up to missing a meal. I know that going too low can be just as bad as going to high.

Also I read Thibs Q&A thread, not all of it, but one of the things said was that glutamine makes shakes about 50% better because of absorption issues. So I will be paying more attention to my glutamine additions…even though honestly I have been doing it right up until now.

One of the reason why my measurements are always exactly 4oz etc is because if its 4.1 oz I will cut a sliver off, I am that anal about measurements.