My Anus is Bleeding


Add fiber+yogurt as part of your daily diet.

1-2 teaspoons of mineral oil every now and then. It makes shit come out really easy (specially when turds start getting the size of bricks.) *

  • caveat: don’t take mineral oil regulary; you’ll become dependent on that (that’s bad juju). Also, don’t take it more than two days in a row; that tends to give you intestinal craps from hell.

I think the problem is usually more from having to wipe all the time. Well, at least it was in my case, 'cause my shits are always nice and soft, but I go multiple times per day and all the wiping wreaked havoc on my ass. Never thought I would actually like having one, but here in Argentina all the bathrooms have bidets, and it has saved my asshole. So get a bidet!

[quote]spyoptic wrote:
nothing is as underrated as a good shit, are you taking your time? Do you have a television or a ping-pong table in your bathroom?[/quote]

If you have time for either, then you aren’t doing it right.

A shit should be quick, and if you get enough fiber, only one wipe is necessary…to ensure that you don’t actually need to wipe.

I have this problem as well.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Real men don’t shit. Real men eat 15lbs of meat, wait 6 hours and then cut their stomachs open to remove the remains.[/quote]

Oh fuck! prof x has made a good joke for once

lmfao! nice one old school!!

prof x has me laughing so hard!!

dude, you’re fucking vicious!!

Kind of a strange question, but can you get butt hole calluses from that?

i’m running at 100% efficiency = no shits.

i had this, psyllium husks take them with every meal and your asshole will love you.

Stop eating Chipotle

[quote]artw wrote:
Stop eating Chipotle[/quote]

Or just get chipotlaway!

[quote]waldo21212 wrote:
artw wrote:
Stop eating Chipotle

Or just get chipotlaway![/quote]

lol beat me to it… i was gonna say that

x2 on the baby wipes. never tried them until had to go on extended trips into the field. yo those are the shit.

i’d do like two baby wipe ‘wipes’ followed by some dry regualr toilet paper wipes.

then party after

My spoon is too big!

Eat more fiber. Fruit would work well.

Asshole prehab with RRJC.

If you don’t take your morning shit before you shower, after you dry off and get dressed, dab some preparation H on your butthole before you leave the house. If you have a messy shit and you’re not home to shower, it usually fends off ‘itchy burny asshole’ for a few hours so you can get home to shower.

My fruit/vegie intake per meal is around half a pound. Works wonders. Clean and easy wiping.

I also drink at least a gallon per day. Lots of fiber with no water would lead to massive constipation so beware.

[quote]UFgator11 wrote:
i’m running at 100% efficiency = no shits. [/quote]

always sunny in Philadelphia? haha