T Nation

Muscle Humour


#1

So, my girlfriend and I were farting around, being Canadian, and she cracked a joke that was so lame it was awesome. To reformat, and use the same punchline:

Why are astronauts sore after a set of squats?
Galactic acid.

Which got me thinking, this board is packed with smartass meat-heads. Have at it boys and girls.

My contribution:
Which muscle is kinda gay?
The Biceps.


#2


#3

My favorite one is incredible lame, but always made me laugh.

How many bodybuilders does it take to change a lightbulb?

4: 1 to change the bulb, and 3 to stand around him screaming, "You're huge! YOU'RE HYOOOGE!"

Hehe. Still makes my chuckle.


#4



#5

Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
Because he was squatting


#6

What did the powerlifter say when he saw a basketball flying towards his friends head?

HEAD UUUUUUUUP


#7

Why arn't powerlifting girls slutty?

They're always trying to stay tight


#8


#9

Bodybuilder: Do you have your tickets?

Woman: To what?

Bodybuilder: (Flexes) to the gun show!


#10


I told my gf I was stung by a bee. I then flexed my right arm and pointed with my right hand finger to my bicep. Works everytime.


#11

I thought up a few more on my walk home from the gym tonight.

I just got back from the gym, where I met a female body builder. She had large hands, an adam's apple, and acne on her chest and shoulders. Her name was Tess Tosterone.

What do you call an schizophrenic ass-hole doing olympic lifts?
A split-jerk.

Why did the olympic lifter buy a bottle of summer's eve?
She wanted to clean up her snatch.

Why couldn't the deadlifter get his door open?
He was having trouble with his hinge.

Thank you! I'm here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.


#12



#13

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#14


Here's some muscle humour for you - ridiculous 80's bodybuilding photos...


#15


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#16

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#17


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#18

How do Colombians gain muscle mass?

By pushing drugs...


#19

^hahahaha, funny cuz it's true.


#20


I love it when supplement ads try to make a bodybuilder look "sciency"...

SCIENTIST: "Now Jay, if you would be so good as to look here, you'll see that this supplement contains some of the most groundbreaking ergogenic compounds in science today, including..."

JAY: "BOX!"

SCIENTIST: "Yes Jay, it is indeed in a box. More importantly than its container though are its contents, for example, beta-3-ergosterol, a powerful..."

JAY: "PURPLE!!"

SCIENTIST: ", yes, Jay, the box is predominantly purple in colour. I think you are missing the point though...in several peer-reviewed studies, this supplement....JAY STOP THAT!"