T Nation

Mr. Negativity


I do not like to brag, but recently things have been going real well for me...I met a girl who works at credit suisse and shes trying to get me a job/interview...Im real excited to go to the gym and I say Im going to lift some serious weight (for me) and be intense (I mentally pump myself up)...I even met a girl whose not only pretty, but smart and actually seems like a really cool girl...I try to keep a good outlook and appreciate everything thats going for me...I even reached my first training goal of 200 lbs bodyweight.

I do not have a car. I sacrifice paying for a car so I can save up to start paying school loans and to invest for my future.

Enter Mr. Negativity. Now I met a kid at work who seemed like a cool kid, he even goes to the gym and is nice enough to give me a ride to the gym with him. Over the past 2 months we became pretty close. Now today I was speaking with him about what happened to me this weekend about meeting a girl from credit suisse and a cute girl that I met who is really cool. Off the bat he says, goodluck with getting that job youll need it. And then he says, the girl I met probably wont even call me. He then says I probably wouldnt fuck her and if did she wouldnt call me afterwards cuz she would realize it would be a mistake on her part...I looked at him and was like are u serious bro? What the hell do u know? I put my headphones on in the car and say to myself--cool down anthony you are in his car, he is giving you a ride to the gym dont fuck it up...

Now I have my headphones on and biting my nails cuz thats what I do when I start to get a pissed off. A few moments later he gets my attention and says says why are u biting ur nails like a little bitch...I say what the fuck bro? Talking about little bitches how bout u put some decent weight up...Then he says the only reason why you lift as much as you do is because Ive been lifting longer and because I drink my redline during my workout...Thats all I remember

I almost grabbed the kidd and freaked out...I dont know what I said but screamed something along the lines of "you are a fuckn asshole what the fuck is your problem" and he says something like "you think ur the shit"...Now I had 2 options, grab him because I tend to have a short temper when pushed to the edge..or get out of the car...Thankfully, I jumped out of the car and almost hurt myself cuz the car was moving...To put it simply I didnt get a ride back home from the gym with him...

Am I being too sensitive am I a hotthead? I dunno all his negativity was bringing me down and I just freaked...was he being a toxic person like the article?

I dont know why I wrote all of this, I guess to get some release out...Thx T-men for reading this far.


You shouldn't let stupid people like that get a rise out of you.
Stuff like this bugs me a bit sometimes when I'm not on guard, but most of the time i just shrug it off. Just like the article said, some people are just very negative and you need to put the blinders on...
This reminds me of another off-topic thread about someone getting a bad 'look' and freaking out too. Why the fuck are people going to let every 2-cent punk bitch bother you. Just smile and turn away....

Personally, If I were in the car, I would have told the dude to chill out and let it go from there.
But jumping out of the moving car was my 2nd option :slightly_smiling: haha


You get your feelings hurt by him busting your balls, and he's the little bitch?



Yes, those are definitely signs of a toxic person. Do you have a link to the article? I haven't read it.


search its sabotage or toxic people, you should find it.


wow, and I thought I got angry easily.


Some friendships arent worth continuing. Its just that simple. Dont stress the little stuff.
Fighting over little shit is never worth it in the end. What really do you have to gain?


Screw with him. The dude has some big red buttons that set him off and you just stumbled upon them.

Every time you see him make it a point to tell him about that great chick you met and how good life is.

When he starts fuming and talking shit, just laugh and wish him the best.


Wow. You messed up. Why should you care if he's not your biggest fan?

Good learning experience I think. You have a short temper, and the opinions of others don't always count.

I would've tried to laugh, but I had a mate like that years ago so I know how they can get to you. I hung out with my mate for long enough for him to start bringing me down before I started avoiding him. It's the only way to go with these types of people.

I would what Skyzyks said. If you have a conversation with him, keep it short and sweet, and even if everything in your life sucks, tell him how great it is.


Man, what a nightmare...all of the sudden he started being an asshole ?


Seemed like regular ball busting to me too. Bust his balls right back.


I hate toxic people!
Always trying to bring you down to make themselves feel better.


Ball busting is a regular ritual in male circles. It happens all the time in my circles of friends and no one freaks out.

Don't stress it.

Even good friends are allowed a certain about of ball busting.


While I generally feel you could have handled that better, I think the situation needs some context to be understood better.

Where you and this guy are from, what is normal ball busting? I've heard from people I met that this standard differs greatly depending on where you grew up. In the UK, Australia, and parts of the US, it would be considered normal. Where I come from however, the guy is either a major dick who's trying to put you in "your place", or he's just a miserable SOB.

Seeing as we don't know the backgrounds of you or this guy, we can't be too confident what this guy was doing.

Regardless, you need to treat this as a learning experience, and find a way to cope with that behaviour until you can get out of the situation, and to learn to avoid them from the start.


you jumped out of a moving car? jesus christ


You forgot the best option: just sit there with your headphones on until you got to the gym.

The only thing in life that truly belongs to you is your attitude. People can mess with anything else about you without your consent, but your attitude can never be altered by someone else unless you allow it. Remember this. Learn how to control your attitude.



Good friends are allowed the most. My friends are merciless with each other, always asking when someone's wife will dump his sorry ass or hasn't your boss fired you yet or haven't you cured that herpes yet.

I need new friends.


I have a friend who hit another of our friends with his car. It was "a joke." The kid was knocked back into a bicycle mounted against a wall (this was in a garage,) which cut into his leg deep enough that the doctors were talking about amputation.

I need some new friends.


Zap, i'll be your friend :slight_smile:

But don't piss me off because I'm NOT jumping out of your moving vehicle. WOW!


You know, I can relate. When you have to bum rides off of other people, they tend to get a "I'm better than you" mentality because of it.