T Nation

Move Your Internal Organs


#1

This morning I was downstairs in my dorm's cafeteria reading the local newspaper and their was an article about a brand new exercise regimen called t-tapp. It was basically a bunch of isometric exercises done in different positions, weird but not retarded till I read on: the inventor claims that by doing weight lifting you work the muscles and make them bigger, but by doing t-tapp you just work the "belly" and it just increases density, like its a different process or something.

So I got irritated and looked up this t-tapp online, and reading through the official site: there is a movement called "putting the organs in place" I thought this was a joke, but as i read on,
oh god i thought i had seen it all...

i really think they are telling people you can lose inches in your stomach by moving your organs. I just cant take this anymore, its so retarded. and does this sound good, from the article about flat stomachs: "At first you may feel some discomfort as you move your internal organs but this does not hurt the body. Degree of discomfort reveals the level of muscle atrophy" oh god, i cant take it, do people really feel this is the way to exercise and change your body?


#2

i was reading on and they also think that you can shrink your ribs....


#3

I find your ideas intriguing, and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.


#4

one night when i was fourteen i concentrated really hard and really wished and really prayed that i would wake up with some pubes and fell asleep with those thoughts. lo and behold, i woke up with a tiny little pube.

coincidence? i think not.


#5

yea, and all the "trainers" that were certified by them were like 40 year old housewives who were out of shape. Sometimes i think that you should be allowed to sue people who put retarded fitness things on the market, or be allowed to file cease and decist orders against them. Anytime you tell someone that you can shrink their ribs through exercise, i dont know, i just dont know.


#6

Don't knock it till you've tried it. I subscribe to the theory that you can lose several pounds by moving your organs around. Get your appendix, spleen, gall bladder, one kidney and half of your liver moved right out of your body to get down in weight immediately. I guarantee you will lose several pounds this way. And for those looking to lose serious pounds fast, you can have one arm and one leg amputated and replaced by lighter prosthetics. So you will be looking at long-term rehab, but think about the dramatic weight loss.

DB


#7

Cutting Phase


#8

Good one Michael......however I recently realized I was getting old when I mentioned a line from that movie and the person, who was 20 I think, had never seen it or heard of Monty Python.


#9

See... You can do anything you put your mind to...

Strong Words.


#10

OMG, our organs are where they belong, who'd want to move them anywhere else?


#11

They now have a Broadway play called Spamalot based on the movie.


#12

I have experienced the same thing on various occasions too. Education gap, or maybe we really are getting old. Well, I'm off, gotta find a shrubbery...


#13

It's a scary world when you mention Pink Floyd and your perky little female companion asks "who's that?"


#14

I'm 22 years old and I believe that every one of my friends, and myself included, could recognize practically every line from 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail.' It isn't an age thing.


#15

Must be an education thing then.

And on the subj. of British humor, has anyone seen the Hitchhikers Guide yet? How does it compare to the book?


#16

SIGH Well, if you've never like totally re-arranged your organs, like, how would you KNOW they can't be like better someplace else? Gawd... some people are SO closed-minded! :wink:

I always wonder how much money these companies make. I mean, their window of opportunity to grab suckers must be incredibly small, but I just can't help but be convinced they do well enough in that window to actually make a go of it. Absolutely frightening.

Kuz
- Return with honor (and with all of my organs right where God placed them, thank you very much).


#17

Right, it's fun. Redesigned my abdominal cavity just yesterday. Took some pics.


#18

Sometimes I want to put my organ in various females.


#19

"Tis only a flesh wound..."


#20

"The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then."