T Nation

Motivation? What Seperates You?


Not sure where to post this so I went here. Thought about Beginners but, I've been training for a long time.

My question/comment:

Why do you think so many people settle for a less then ideal body even though they complain/think/worry about it everyday?

That is my current dilemma, I've been overweight for for nearly 5 years now.

I just can't chock up the answer to it being "hard" to look good.

I am successful in every other aspect of my life. And alot of the aspects in my life are hard: my job, my relationship, coaching, etc..... These are all things that take a major amount of time and effort.

So, why is the working out and eating right part so difficult for some and not others? You could say Math comes easily for some but, not others but, not everyone cares about math. Everyone usually wants to look good.

I am the constant excuse maker when it comes to looking good: I'll start next Monday, after the New Year, after the SuperBowl.

I would never do this at my job or with my significant other. Why so much with the food and workouts?

What is seperating me from those who can be consistent in the gym and eat right?

Why have I settled for looking like a baby elephant and being unhealthy. Why do some care more about their look then their jobs? And who are those special people that do both so well?

Answers. Advice on motivation. Anything will help as I embark on my umpteen attempt to get back in shape.

Thanks for reading this difficult question that I barely understood how to pose never mind answer.


You don't care enough. Simple as that.

For my friend's birthday, I gave him a workout log and a simple program. He said he wanted this. I brought him to the gym before we parted ways for second semester to show him proper form and to not quit when it starts to get difficult. He promised to continue and pledged he would be 20lbs lighter when I next see him (in May).

One month in, I see how he's doing. His response? "I went to the gym twice. I've been really busy and will wait until the summer to do this" He's been saying this for two years now.

He doesn't care enough. You don't care enough. And if that seems harsh or judgemental, I don't care. Because it's the truth.


Because I can't control my school load. I can't control if it rains, if its sunny, if its -30 outside for 2 straight weeks.

I can't control which girls I meet, if it's her period, or what the crazy chick is thinking.

I can't control what I already did, where I've already been, or how hard it was to get here.

I control how much weight I put on the bar. How often I lift, how many times I eat. I control what I put in me, even if I don't pick the ingredients. I pick the timing of food, the frequency of eating. How fast I lift, what the exercises are, the supplements I remember to take every day.

So if i walk to the gym thinking, "I made an ass outta myself last night" or "I'm not getting the girl acting like this" I get to the gym thinkin "fuck it, the iron doesn't care. It just wants me to move it"


Dayum, son. That was, well, damn near poetic.


Ran across this the other day:

This irritates the hell out of me, because my brother just started the police academy and the guy is a twig, 6 foot 2 maybe 155. He's also getting married in 6 months. I've bent over backwards offering him free personal training in my home gym and have done everything I can do, but I can't do it for him.

He has to decide he wants it, and what he has on his plate, would be all the motivation in the world to me, but he rather hunch over a laptop or TV all night eating cereal than look badass for his wedding pics or kick some ass on the force.

Its mind boggling to me, but it comes down to changing habits and routines and the until you get it down for a few months its going to be a struggle for them. He even has shitloads of supplements from the vitamin shoppe he used to work at, so what does he do start a routine, no he continues to stockpile supplements telling me he's getting more. He is suppose to start training tonight for sure, if he don't I may just have to kick the shit out of him!


You've probably not had the success that becomes the inherent drive in the rest of us here.

A little bit of initial change and success makes most crave a lot more of it.


I don't find it harsh at all. I feel the same about people who bitch about their jobs, the money they make and how they blow it, their women, etc.... and don't do anything about it. That's drives me nuts/

But, I do care. Looking like shit is CONSTANTLY on my mind but, again, I don't do anything about it. That's the rub.

How I get over that hump is the problem. How some do and don't do it is a mystery to me.

In college and shortly after I had no problem with motivation and looking good. I didn't have much else to do but, study and party. But, things are different now when your older.

And yes I know that is yet another excuse. The biggest one.

Hopefully, this verbal barrage will help. I appreciate the constructive criticism and the downright mean responses alike.

I'm starting back at it tomorrow so hopefully my posts in the future will be about training and not self-loathing.



That makes a lot of sense. That's what I'm looking for. Alot of the success in my life generally comes from things I'm successful at- duh.

That may have seemed simple but, I hadn't thought of it like that. I will try to change and hopefully crave more.

Thank you


I can understand why you don't make any effort. 90% of normal people make the minimal amount of effort. Being out of shape doesn't affect too much of the rest of your life. You just might not get laid as often as possible. To be honest with you my motivation now comes from seeing normal people.

I don't every want to be skinny or fat. I want to scare little kids when I walk down the street! Training is such a personal thing, you'll need something to spark that desire to train. Just dig a little deeper and you'll find all the motivation you need.


Good. That's the response I was hoping to hear. If you want to keep a log to hear other's responses, that's available on this site (to the right under forums)


Wishing you looked different is not the same as having the desire to change yourself.

The value of living a comfortable lifestyle that ruins your physique is more important to you deep down than the sacrifices it would take to achieve a nice looking body.

Prove me wrong.


for most here it's a bit of an obsession, however obsession makes it sound negative.

it is what i like to do, there are other things, but training is my favorite.

when you start planning meals while your eating meals, thinking out supplement loads and combos, and tweaking exercises, rep ranges, etc. that's when it's part of you.

hope you decide to do what suits you.


Wow. You may have hit it on the head. The comfort level is very important to me. Hell, I was just thinking about when is the best time to start all this because I have so many things going on: dinners, parties, trips, etc.... That's the comfort level your talking about that I would need to sacrifice.

Thank you that is very helpful. I hope I can prove you wrong. I've been very comfortable and mostly happy for 32 years. But, maybe the great body and healthier lifestyle can become my new comfort. Well, I know it will I just gotta get there.


Once you see the hardwork and dedication that you've put forth start to make a difference everything changes. You will continually strive to achieve the physique that you desired from the beginning.


Reading the article "Merry Christmas, Bob" is pretty motivating.


You just don't want it bad enough. You say your looks are on your mind all day.. and they could be.. but you do not have the burning desire to do something about it. You DON'T want it enough. Right now it sounds like your looks are an inconvienence.. that you don't like.. but you can still live with it anyway.

You talk of self-loathing.. and sorry... but I'm kind of doubting the extent of your self-loathing. Self-loathing is one of the reasons I picked up improving my physique and getting stronger. Self-loathing is still one of the main motivations behind leaving myself on the floor every day...

Ronnie Coleman is a great example. He took it all the way and won the Mr.Olympia like what? 8 times (or was that Haney and coleman had 6?)? while he still worked as an Arlington police officer.

My guidance counselor from school is another good example.

Hell, Professor X is another good example. The world is full of examples.. if you look;)


dont know dude i just keep doing it.

one day i decided to lift and its been that way ever since. plus it makes me look better and i got to a point where i was pretty fed up with my apperance and didnt feel "worthy" enough.


[quote]krazykoukides wrote:
What is seperating me from those who can be consistent in the gym and eat right?

You just don't want it bad enough. You say your looks are on your mind all day.. and they could be.. but you do not have the burning desire to do something about it. You DON'T want it enough. Right now it sounds like your looks are an inconvienence.. that you don't like.. but you can still live with it anyway.

Great point. I can still live with it. And I do make a ton of excuses to live with it: "I'm stocky not fat", "Wait till next month and how good I look" etc...

Wearing black all the time. Not going to places I would love to go to because I don't like the way I look.

I appreciate the response. Eye-opeining and true.



Sound's like your problem is a case of external motivation rather than internal motivation. I'm just guessing here, but it seems like you need other people to motivate you (at least to get fit) - that's probably why you posted this thread in the first place. You want people to egg you on. External motivation will work upt to a point, but it doesn't always succeed long term.

If you want to succeed in the long haul, you're going to have to be internally motivated. You need to want to do it purely for the sake of doing it. Take a look at most of the successful people on this board and you'll realize that they're not pumping iron so that they look good for other people (hell, the general public may in fact be appalled by their physiques), they're doing it for themselves and only themselves.


That's it for me as well. Hell, I look better than pretty much everyone I know, but I still don't feel 'worthy'. I'm better than this and I know it. That's all I need. It's not about other people. I just know that I'm fucking better than the body I have now.

That's why I feel insulted when other people tell me I look good. Fuck you. Do you have any idea how good I SHOULD look? Do you know what I SHOULD be capable of? Because I do. And I'll get there.