T Nation

Motivation/Accountability Partner

Hey guys,
Been working out for ~8 years on and off but have made paltry gains. True ectomorph here. What I really need is a bigger guy that I can look to for motivation and some sort of accountability to stay focused on both diet and training.

For my body type, I need to be ultra focused otherwise I won’t grow. Could be a young guy too, many of you teens are much bigger than I. Probably lots of teens half my age who can push more weight than me.

I can be an accountability partner as well if you have some goals. Just send me an email or PM if you have an inspiring story or pics or can lend a hand.

Here are my stats:
30 yo
5’11"
160lbs
14"biceps
39"chest
29-30"waist
22"legs

Lifts (here’s where a 16yo competes with me :wink:
145x6reps bench
210x20 slow reps squat
110x8 bb row
78x6 bb curl

Here are some pics.


another shot

[quote]training30yo wrote:
Hey guys,
Been working out for ~8 years on and off but have made paltry gains. True ectomorph here. What I really need is a bigger guy that I can look to for motivation [/quote]

If you are looking to others for motivation, then you’ve already lost. If you need to count on someone else, then how will you ever count on YOURSELF?

I find a WO partner to be a hinderance. I can lift when I want, and not worry about someone else’s schedule.

Motivation comes from within. If it came from others, I’d never find my own road.

Good luck.

I’m not looking for a WO partner as such. What I need is someone that can help hold me accountable for my diet and training. I’m not really lacking too much motivation, or I wouldn’t have been putting myself through squat workouts and diets these past years without making significant gains.

But there are times that the rigors of life wear on a guy so much that his motivation alone isn’t enough to push him to stay really focused on his gains. That’s when an accountability partner becomes important. Also, I think two people motivating each other is better than each on his own.

But your remarks are well taken, and I,like you, definately prefer my gym time by myself.

No one can provide the “focus” for you. That has to come from you. If you can’t hold yourself accountable, why should anyone else?

You say, “or I wouldn’t have been putting myself through squat workouts and diets these past years without making significant gains”. What do you mean by diets? Restricted calories? If this is the case the your squat sessions are NOT gonna make a difference.

Judging by your photo you need to, as everybody else says when they see a figure like yours wanting to get bigger, EAT. If your effort and time is there as you say and you’ve been doin this 8 YEARS, lack of calories would be the first place I would look.

You don’t have to be super anal about it right now either. Just stay away from fast food, packaged food, and eat lots of MEAT. You can focus all you want, but if you don’t eat enough, you won’t grow.

Good Luck!

Go to www.amazon.com and find the following book: Scrawny to Brawny by John Berardi.

This will be your new motivation and accountability guide.

Read it. Follow it as written. Believe. Eat. Grow!

[quote]training30yo wrote:
Hey guys,
Been working out for ~8 years on and off but have made paltry gains. True ectomorph here. What I really need is a bigger guy that I can look to for motivation and some sort of accountability to stay focused on both diet and training.

For my body type, I need to be ultra focused otherwise I won’t grow. Could be a young guy too, many of you teens are much bigger than I. Probably lots of teens half my age who can push more weight than me.

I can be an accountability partner as well if you have some goals. Just send me an email or PM if you have an inspiring story or pics or can lend a hand.

Here are my stats:
30 yo
5’11"
160lbs
14"biceps
39"chest
29-30"waist
22"legs

Lifts (here’s where a 16yo competes with me :wink:
145x6reps bench
210x20 slow reps squat
110x8 bb row
78x6 bb curl

Here are some pics. [/quote]

This may sound a little harsh but it will help you more than any pseudo hand holding ever will.

The last thing you need is the motivation to stick with your current training and diet because your current training and diet obviously aren’t working. If after 8 years you have failed to make progress then maybe, just maybe, you need to change what you are doing.

Rather than looking for a bigger guy to be your “accountability partner” you would do better to look for a bigger guy to be your mentor. The difference being that a mentor can show you how to get bigger whereas an “accountability partner” can hold your hand while you tell them about how hard it is for a “true ectomorph” (I’m guessing by the overall tone of your post that you’re not looking for someone to regularly tell you how badly you’re doing).

So if you’re looking for accountability realise that any lack of progress is down to you and not your genetics, also realise that if you would like to break this cycle and accomplish something this will also need to be down to you.

Don’t take this as an attack as it isn’t intended to be one.

Commit, dedicate, visualize, pursue.

Man up.

I don’t get it. If I had been training for 8 whole years and this was as far as I had progressed, I would think I was doing something terribly wrong, not keep doing what I had been doing up to that point. You aren’t eating enough and no one can provide motivation for you. If you can’t handle changing those two areas on your own, don’t expect to make any progress no matter what books you read.

That’s all there is to it. You’ve “worked out” for nearly a decade and look smaller than some people I have seen getting into a gym for the first time. Life didn’t do that to you. Your metabolism didn’t do that to you. Your body type didn’t do that to you. Your lack of commitment did that to you and no one else can change that but YOU.

Either do it or don’t. I don’t know who would want to be held back by working out with someone with as little motivation as you seem to have…at least without getting paid for it.

You are the type of person who gets a personal trainer and still makes very little progress.

[quote]kinein wrote:
Commit, dedicate, visualize, pursue.

Man up.

[/quote]

I have the firm belief that the person who needs to be told this is the person who won’t be able to find it. People who truly work hard towards a goal without stopping until they reach didn’t have to be told to work hard. They did it because of whatever internal motivation got them that far.

My mother-in-law takes evening walks. I’ll put you two in touch, since you seem to train at the same intensity. (Well, she probably trains harder; so we should deep six this idea.)

Thanks CA, I’ll keep that in mind.

You may not believe me, but I don’t even mean this sarcastically. I find it bizarre that you would keep doing something 8 years that wasn’t working. I could see for a while, but 8 years? And THEN ask somebody why it isn’t working.

You almost deserve a prize for upside down perseverance. How long does somebody keep holding down the nozzle on an empty can of spray paint before they believe nothing,s going to come out?

You may not believe me, but I don’t even mean this sarcastically. I find it bizarre that you would keep doing something 8 years that wasn’t working. I could see for a while, but 8 years? And THEN ask somebody why it isn’t working.

I think about 90% of the people that go to my gym are just like this guy.

[quote]softail wrote:
You may not believe me, but I don’t even mean this sarcastically. I find it bizarre that you would keep doing something 8 years that wasn’t working. I could see for a while, but 8 years? And THEN ask somebody why it isn’t working.

I think about 90% of the people that go to my gym are just like this guy.[/quote]

This is also why the statement- “he’s big so he’s gotta be on steroids” is so common. Spending that many years ina gym with no progress could really skew your view of what’s achievable naturally.

Hey guys, how about a little respect here…or do you all with the latter posts get off on degrading comments. I respect the first couple of posts, but I think the rest of you are taking this a bit too far.

First of all, I haven’t said that I think I’ve been doing things right. Yes, I have started a new routine recently that I hope will work, but in response to the guy who wants to give me the perseverence award, I haven’t been doing the same thing for the past 8 years.

I don’t want to surprise you guys, but just in case you haven’t noticed, each person is different genetically. When I was in college I was 135lbs and almost 6’. Now that’s thin.

So in the past 8 years I’ve probably gone through 5-10 programs, and my weight has been all across the board, even getting to 200lbs one time. But at that weight I wasn’t very muscular and surely wasn’t strong.

So I keep trying different routines and different diets to acheive what I would like, but it’s frustrating when I’m in the gym and see guys who are big never touch a squat bar but have big legs and have a 6-pack but don’t watch their diet.

In response to the guys who think I have absolutely no motivation, realize that one needs motivation to stick out 8 years but not seeing the gains you want.

Some of you guys out there have worked really hard to acheive your bodies through workouts that leave you sore for days and through rigorous diets, and you guys are the people I look to for the motivation to keep going when I think its just impossible.

Many others of you, though, either looked to drugs for your size or have the genetics to get there without really having to put forth the effort that the others did.

And I can tell you guys this until you’re blue in the face, but unless you could experience someone else’s genetics for a year, you’ll never be able to understand that.

Remember this forum should be for the benefit of all where people learn from others, so if you don’t have anything to say but to make fun of others, then its not worth saying.

And I graduated HS 6’1 and 150. That’s thin too. I’m 31 now and weigh 215. So waht is your point.

But if you want people to be nice, then a comment like this- “Many others of you, though, either looked to drugs for your size or have the genetics to get there without really having to put forth the effort that the others did” will get a big FUCK YOU from alot of us.

This is exactly what I was talking about in my previous post-“This is also why the statement- “he’s big so he’s gotta be on steroids” is so common. Spending that many years in a gym with no progress could really skew your view of what’s achievable naturally”.

Just because somebody has achieved something you couldn’t, doesn’t mean they had good genetics and didn’t fucking have to work hard or they used drugs. That’s just stupid.

[quote]training30yo wrote:
Many others of you, though, either looked to drugs for your size or have the genetics to get there without really having to put forth the effort that the others did.

And I can tell you guys this until you’re blue in the face, but unless you could experience someone else’s genetics for a year, you’ll never be able to understand that.

Remember this forum should be for the benefit of all where people learn from others, so if you don’t have anything to say but to make fun of others, then its not worth saying. [/quote]

#1 point you are blocking your own potential with thoughts like this.

I’m an Ecto too. Genetics has nothing to do with it…it’s just a body type. Why do people think Ecto’s can’t ever gain.

You are mentally blocking your potential. Maybe read my Newbie bulking thread as I had these same thoughts you did, but crushed them through hard heavy lifting and increased calories.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
kinein wrote:
Commit, dedicate, visualize, pursue.

Man up.

I have the firm belief that the person who needs to be told this is the person who won’t be able to find it. People who truly work hard towards a goal without stopping until they reach didn’t have to be told to work hard. They did it because of whatever internal motivation got them that far.[/quote]

o.O well… I had something similar, to your first reply to him. Then I felt like I was being too tough, So I deleted my tough love post. I was trying to be “motivational”. He used the word accountability. My face scrunched up…

Your Quest should be to add weight to the bar…if you can do that the rest will follow. and EAT BIG!!!