More Trouble Than I Am Worth: Chaos Is The Plan (T3hPwnisher Log)

Training Log: Entry 2708


5/3/1 KRYPTEIA PHASE 1 Week 1, Workout 2

Log clean and strict press away

Log viper press each rep

KB goblet squat

DB SLDL w/shrug at top of reach rep

Complete in under 20 minutes

20 standing ab wheels
25 pushdowns
4x25 pull aparts
15 monster miniband curls


  • Still working around family time/spring break/in-laws, so getting in the training where I can, and this absolutely answered the mail in that regard. Sub 45 minutes is the goal, so sub 20 is pretty nutty, especially taking each rep off the floor for the supplemental work. Per protocol, got in squats and SLDLs between sets. It’s supposed to be a DB squat vs a goblet, but I feel like this meets intent just fine. 190 was challenging but not world ending. Pushing the pace was excellent.

  • Plan for press is to use the axle for the 5s week and take each rep from the floor, do this workout for the 3s, and for the 1s I’ll use a log for the main work and axle for the supplemental, and in that case clean once and press away.

  • Got my jumps and throws done in the morning. Fasted and just jumped around and slammed a slam ball. Little mini-conditioning workout that way too.

  • Still keeping calories low and protein high.


Hey Pwn, big fan from Aus here.
Just found this. Been following the blog and reddit for a while.
Wanted to say you finally helped me understand 531, been doing the lifting part on and off for 5 years but always skipped the cardio and played bodybuilder with assistance.
Have been making pwn inspired tweaks and seen big gains in conditioning and havent lost any strength, definitely inproved my work capacity.
Running a beefcake run inspired by you right now.


@Deadliftnstill Hey man, great to have you along. Glad to hear you’re finding the magic in conditioning. It really is a gamechanger. Hope beefcake treats you well!

Training Log: Entry 2709

Slept until about 0700, got out of bed around 0800, got in my fasted jumps and throws/micro conditioning workout, did a lot of manual labor stuff and squeeze in a PM workout of

“Bow Your Head For Grace”

Once again, that is burpee chin into burpee into 136lb axle clean and press for 30 rounds. This was my first sub 10 minute time, so that was awesome.

Still relying a lot on shakes while family are in town. The meals I’m eating are keto/paleo as much as they can be. Biggest thing I’m running into is that, since I’m eating less food, I’m taking in less salt, and getting some headspins here and there. I’ve actually taken to adding salt to my Metabolic Drive shakes, which I think actually helps bring out some flavor too (the salt contrasting with the sweetness). Since I take Elitepro Minerals already, I can’t use a lot of electrolyte drinks, since they also double up on Zinc and Magnesium, but I got some Gatorade powder that should keep things simple enough.

I’m definitely seeing rapid leanness responding and can feel clothes fitting better. It’s awesome not walking around bloated all the time, and life is super streamlined. I’m experiencing some cramping and putting away a TON of fluids, but also have come down with a minor cold, which might be another x-factor.


Oh Father God let us bless this piedmontese steak and eggs dinner you have bestowed upon us. We thank you for this food you have provided us and we shall continue to grow with your power and wisdom.


I like the name, it’s clever.

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@tlgains Much appreciated dude! There’s only one way to pray though.

AM WORKOUT (0510 natural wake up)

5/3/1 KRYPTEIA PHASE 1 Week 1, Workout 3

Axle bench press

Close grip axle pause bench

KB goblet squat

DB SLDL w/shrug at top

Time: 24 minutes

Used remaining 20 minutes to accomplish the following

200 band pull aparts
160 Poundstone curls w/axle
60x180 reverse hypers
25 pushdowns
20 standing ab wheels
43 dips
9 chins


  • Took video but the upload screwed up: will post it later. But per protocol, assistance was done between all sets of the main and supplemental work. I flew through this, resting only long enough to change plates or put on straps for the SLDLs. 286 was challenging enough for a topset, but 226 was not for the supplemental work, so I went with close grip and pause to up the difficulty a little. Slamming the assistance as fast as I could in between helped.

  • Digging the goblet squat for teaching me posture. It’s helping me regroove some motor patterns.

  • Ideally, I’ll use that extra time to get a run in on these upper body days. Still working around family visits and life. But I was pleased with how chasing after that assistance kept my heart rate up.

  • Going on a Metabolic Drive heavy day today, since I’m back to work and won’t have family lunches to work around.


Apparently my video is partially, so for those of you that can watch it, enjoy

For PM workout, I did axle Fran. 83lbs axle. Time was like 5:20.

Gonna try my luck on deads tomorrow. Haven’t pulled heavy since before Super Squats. We’ll see if I’m healed. Chaos is the plan.

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I’m really enjoying that you’re signing off most of your posts here with “Chaos is the plan”.

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I can’t do it all the time, for obvious reasons, haha. I’m thinking it’s going to be the next gym poster though, so the Yawgmoth demon turned out so clutch.

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What a great stock signature that would be though.

"Hey if your lifts are stalling and you’re in a gaining phase, maybe try adding 2-3 peanut butter sandwiches to your diet and see how that changes things. Chaos is the plan."

"Can you get those reports done by EOD today? If we submit them before the weekend none of us will have to take call. Chaos is the plan."

"Congrats on your engagement! It’s been too long, looking forward to catching up at your wedding! Chaos is the plan."

I think it works.


Oh for sure, but if I always end a post with the same thing…it’s not very chaotic, haha.

But I LOVE those examples.


This reminds me of the first part of my best man speech for my best man’s upcoming wedding.

“It’s only fitting that I am David’s best man. He was the best man at my wedding, and he will probably be the best man at my next one.”

I admit I have yet to run this joke through my wife for approval…


AM WORKOUT (0510 natural wake up)

5/3/1 KRYPTEIA PHASE 1 Week 1, Workout 4

Axle deadlifts

Weighted chins

Weighted dips

Band pull aparts

Total time: 37:37

20 standing ab wheels
25 pushdowns
25 band curls


  • First heavy deadlift session since I tore my tricep/lat about 3 months ago. I took it very cautious and slow, and used the axle to artificially constrain the load. I’ve got some video to upload later, but this was challenging but not insurmountable. I feel like I’m in a good spot, and can hopefully keep my health together long enough to build back to some solid deadlifting. Part of me is thinking about going 5x5/3/1 for deadlift day, just to groove heavy deadlifts back into my life, but we’ll see.

  • Once again, ideally we’d populate this day with a bit more conditioning, but it’s a family week this week. I’ve got Tang Soo Do later and can most likely squeeze in some jumps/throws.

  • Rounding out my second work week on the Velocity Diet-esque approach. By Friday, I’m looking pretty flat, but that’s my own doing for keeping this so low carb. I’m looking to get some carbs in this weekend, as that seems to be a decent way forward.

  • Picked up Jamie Lewis’ latest book on the Feast/Famine/Ferocity protocol. I think that might be in my future.


Hey Pwn can ABCs be done with dumbbells or nah

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@tlgains I’ve done them when I’ve been traveling and had no KBs. Lots of other great dumbbell movements out there too. Check out the website “wodwell” and use dumbbells in the filter.

Wanted to get down a few more thoughts while I have some downtime

  • It feels good to feel good. I had no concept for just how beat to hell my body was during that second run of Super Squats, but I was definitely the stereotypical car pulling across the finish line with the wheels falling off. I could perform in the gym, but outside I was dragging. Now I’m noticing how easily I handle stairs, how fast I move during my daily conditioning, etc.

  • The “family man Velocity Diet” just keeps having positives. Just digging how much more of my life I have back, how much better my digestion is, how clothes fit better (to say nothing of being able to get my weight belt on without a fight), and the return to simplicity. It’s been a good re-establishment of a baseline and habit disupter. I can definitely see this becoming a regular feature in my life, and might just be my go-to protocol during periods of reduce training intensity.

  • I also dig how much gratitude this protocol has given me. Food smells better and tastes better when I get access to it. It’s no longer a vehicle, but also a small joy.

  • I wrote about this elsewhere, but this protocol is also great for a non-calorie counter like myself. I have my shakes, and I have my meal. If I feel I’m a bit too far ahead in terms of calories, I go with 2 scoop shakes vs 2.5s. For my meals, I can make them bigger or smaller as needed. Stupidly simple.

  • I’m taking in a LOT of fluids in the absence of food, which checks. Food has water in it, and when you’re eating less food, you need to take in more water to still get that hydration. Green tea is one of my preferred sources, as it’s supposed to have some fat burning properties to it as well. Plus, its got a flavor.

  • “Hunger games”. Try to see how long you can go while being hungry. Funny enough: after enough time, the body stops sending the signal. As if to say “Guess it’s just not happening”


Video from the morning

PM workout was TABEARTA and 30 GHRs. I have to get used to feeling strong on the PM workouts again. I was carrying SO much fatigue before.


Slept off an on until 0730, got in 2:30 fasted of alternating burpee broad jumps and sprawls onto a slam ball/slamming it on the return. Good “primal” workout, and got in my jumps and throws.

Before my cheat meal, I ran this iteration of Monument to Non-existence to completely deplete whatever glycogen I had left

10 thrusters
20 front squats
30 squats
20 zerchers
40 deadlifts

All with 135lbs. No set down for any lifts, which I think is awesome. First time doing zercher squats: they really torch the quads. I can see them working into this protocol sometime.

Cheat-ish meal was Orange Chicken, Honey Walnut Shrimp, broccoli, half my fried rice and some of my wife’s chow mein at Panda Express. Next 2 hours after that, felt like I got hit by a bomb. Definitely putting the Indigo-3g to the test with these meals, and I can tell how carb sensitive I am these days. My food relationship is fantastic though. I wasn’t binge eating, but was savoring each bite, enjoying it, and felt zero compulsion to eat all my rice simply because “it was there”. I am thinking I may need to ease a bit more back into carbs though, and aim for less processed stuff if I have the chance on a weekend. I legit love sweet potatoes: wouldn’t mind just having some of those sometime.

Finished out with a daily work workout. Got in 50 chins, 50 dips, 100 pull aparts, 25 pushdowns, 25 band curls, and 20 standing ab wheels.


AM WORKOUT (0440 natural wake up)

5/3/1 KRYPTEIA PHASE 1 Week 2, Workout 1

Front squats
5x295 (re-rack between rep 4 and 5 due to bar slipping)

Weighted chins

Weighted dips

Band pull aparts

Time: Sub 36 minutes

20 standing ab wheels
25 pushdowns
25 band curls


  • Yet again: it’s Krypteia, so the dips and chins are done in between the sets of front squats, and the pull aparts were brought out before the topset of 295. Are front squats part of Krypteia? No: but I’m doing this as part of my “post Super Squats recovery”. I had a bar behind my back for so long that I need to undo that, and this should also gear me up for some heavy buffalo bar squatting next week. The pinched nerve in my back doesn’t seem to be getting any better: it healed to about 85% and is just hanging there, but it doesn’t interfere with my training. Driving and sitting at the dinner table is agonizing, but living and moving is good.

  • Very pleased with squat depth and strength here. Had no TM and just kinda winged it. Experienced a small slip on the topset, and my right hip still doesn’t care for fully locking out, but it was a good day of training, especially considering how “off” life has been schedule/nutrition-wise.

  • The weekly carb-up continues to be the right protocol: filled back out and looking leaner compared to Friday. I like having squats to start the week with that as well. This week will allow for more consistent compliance as well: in-laws have departed and I’m working the full week so fewer “3 meal days”.


First of all, your shoulders look insane in that still preview shot on the video.

I assume you have reasons for not doing a front rack but have you tried using straps to hold onto in a pseudo front rack position? they were a good middle ground of stability and pain free lifting for me

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Thanks for that man! Shoulders can never be big enough, haha.

I don’t do front rack because I can’t. Just don’t have the mobility for it, and the time/energy I would invest in achieving it is an opportunity cost.

I’ve done the strap thing before and never found it as stable as the cross arm. I figure cross arm was good enough for these dudes, so it’s good enough for me



I had the opposite experience but my god, I’m not going to try to tell Ronnie Coleman (or you) anything lol

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