More than a little embarassing

Hello all. This forum has always been great when I’ve had questions, and now I have a small problem, literally. It has been 4 months since a breakup of a 5 year relationship, I’m starting to date again, and have had relations with several girls. My sex life was great with my ex, at least 5-7 times a week, and during this time I never had a problem getting an erection. During the time I was in this relationship, the opportunity to cheat came up several times. In these situations I never got an erection, nor do I think I could have if I wanted to. I always assumed it was because I felt bad about what could happen. But now that I’m single again, my dick is not responding. I have been with 5 girls since this, and it now takes direct stimulation to get an erection, once I get it up and start having sex, I can only hold it for a couple of minutes and then it’s going limp. I have no problem getting an erection watching porn, during the day, when I wake up, etc., but put a hot naked chick in front of me and I’m having problems. I thought the first couple of times it was just no biggie, but now I’m starting to worry and I’m not looking forward to sex because of what could happen. I have tried not whacking it for days on end, tribex, etc, but I know that it’s a mental thing. Do you guys have any suggestions? Don’t really want to go on viagra, should I go to the doc? I’m stuck! I don’t think it’s a low T problem, I’m only 22 so I’ve got to try and fix this. Thanks for reading and your replies in advance.

Maybe you are gay?

Actually, the problem you’re experiencing isn’t all that uncommon, and it is all mental. You’re likely putting a lot of pressure on yourself with new girls – i.e. you want to please them, you want them to be impressed enough to come back for seconds, etc. You were comfortable with your ex, and past that initial tension. Try giving yourself a break, not putting a lot of pressure on yourself, and just looking at it as a good time. Also, be confident with your other skills – the key here is giving her great pleasure (think oral skills) before it’s even time to break out Mr. Happy – if she’s already taken care of, so to speak, there will be less for you to worry about.

Good luck. If the problem is persistent, you may want to go talk to an actual therapist rather than our little message board here.