T Nation

Morbid Things That Make You Laugh

Or things you find funny but you’re not really sure why.

Here’s mine;

Yesterday I was walking past my deaf neighbors house when I saw his cat meowing at the front door. I’m still chuckling.

[quote]on edge wrote:
Yesterday I was walking past my deaf neighbors house when I saw his cat meowing at the front door. I’m still chuckling.[/quote]

LOL!

Here’s one (another cat related).

A mate who is a police officer got called out by an old lady when a lorry driver pulled up in his truck outside her house, got out of his cab and grabbed a spade and beat her cat to death with it (The cat had just run out of the house and was sunning itself on it’s back).

She took the vehicles number and it was traced.

My mate went to the lorry depot to find out what was going on. Apparently the driver had tried to swerve to miss the cat and had hit it so he thought the kindest thing to do was to give it a swift ending.

Only problem was, that when the checked his vehicle, there was another dead cat that had been minced and caught up behind his mud flap.

To this day I can just imagine the look on that old girls face when some hairy assed lorry driver murdered her perfectly healthy cat. Not to mention the surprise the cat must have felt.

For some reason I love seeing people fall up/down stairs. Last year I was walking back from lunch with my friend when we started going down a staircase while some girl was walking up it. The staircase was too narrow to fit two people side by side so she tried to step off onto the gravel side, but caught her foot on the side of the staircase and fell over and made this squeal as she hit the ground. We burst out laughing and ran away crying.

It’s also funny to watch people slip and fall on ice, especially when they drag their friends down with them. I think the best I have seen was a group of three girls walking arm in arm when one went down and took her friends down with her. It was glorious.

renton that’s a hilarious story haha

[quote]Renton wrote:
on edge wrote:
Yesterday I was walking past my deaf neighbors house when I saw his cat meowing at the front door. I’m still chuckling.

LOL!

Here’s one (another cat related).

A mate who is a police officer got called out by an old lady when a lorry driver pulled up in his truck outside her house, got out of his cab and grabbed a spade and beat her cat to death with it (The cat had just run out of the house and was sunning itself on it’s back).

She took the vehicles number and it was traced.

My mate went to the lorry depot to find out what was going on. Apparently the driver had tried to swerve to miss the cat and had hit it so he thought the kindest thing to do was to give it a swift ending.

Only problem was, that when the checked his vehicle, there was another dead cat that had been minced and caught up behind his mud flap.

To this day I can just imagine the look on that old girls face when some hairy assed lorry driver murdered her perfectly healthy cat. Not to mention the surprise the cat must have felt.[/quote]

That sounds like a scripted joke. Hilarious!

When someone loses one of their limbs to el Cocodrilo.

Note: losing more than one limb is NOT funny at all, and in fact I would consider one a douchebag for even considering laughing at someone in THAT situation.

Hahaha. I’m horrible when it comes to things like that. When somebody says something like “I have good news” I often cheerfully ask “What, did somebody die?”

And I really, really hate cats!

People slipping on ice are always good, too.

[quote]Chewie wrote:
Renton wrote:
on edge wrote:
Yesterday I was walking past my deaf neighbors house when I saw his cat meowing at the front door. I’m still chuckling.

LOL!

Here’s one (another cat related).

A mate who is a police officer got called out by an old lady when a lorry driver pulled up in his truck outside her house, got out of his cab and grabbed a spade and beat her cat to death with it (The cat had just run out of the house and was sunning itself on it’s back).

She took the vehicles number and it was traced.

My mate went to the lorry depot to find out what was going on. Apparently the driver had tried to swerve to miss the cat and had hit it so he thought the kindest thing to do was to give it a swift ending.

Only problem was, that when the checked his vehicle, there was another dead cat that had been minced and caught up behind his mud flap.

To this day I can just imagine the look on that old girls face when some hairy assed lorry driver murdered her perfectly healthy cat. Not to mention the surprise the cat must have felt.

That sounds like a scripted joke. Hilarious!

[/quote]

Agreed, that’s a classic.

LOL. Yeah, people falling in general usually sends me into convulsions of laughter.

One time I was riding my road bike (skinny tires) home from from work one night when I hit a broken up curb and I went head over heels right in front of a five corners stoplight.

I can imagine how hard everyone was laughing at me, and to this day if I had it on tape I’d still laugh my ass off.

[quote]DSmolken wrote:
People slipping on ice are always good, too.[/quote]

Stop…Hammer-time.

I thought that pic needed a translation – which makes it that much more funny.

Still to this day seeing a kid on a dip/chin machine with more than his bodyweight assisting him, and then falling off is the funniest thing I’ve seen. Didn’t even bother to hide my laughter.

Staying with the cat theme, Reno 911 had a hilarious scene about a cat rescue once. The officers were trying to get a cat down from a rooftop, and it was going to be shown on some kids educational show so that kids could see some of the good things that police do. So, officer Junior climbs the ladder, picks up the cat, and says “got 'em.” Everybody claps and celebrates.

Just then, the cat starts scratching the hell out of him, and as a reflex, he throws the cat down off the roof, and directly into a high-powered fan. You hear a quick paper-shredding sound mixed with meowing and blood instantly spatters about 10 feet up the wall of the house. Then there’s the awkward silence, followed by “you know, we could get another cat, we could do it again.”

[quote]escot4 wrote:
Staying with the cat theme, Reno 911 had a hilarious scene about a cat rescue once. The officers were trying to get a cat down from a rooftop, and it was going to be shown on some kids educational show so that kids could see some of the good things that police do. So, officer Junior climbs the ladder, picks up the cat, and says “got 'em.” Everybody claps and celebrates. Just then, the cat starts scratching the hell out of him, and as a reflex, he throws the cat down off the roof, and directly into a high-powered fan. You hear a quick paper-shredding sound mixed with meowing and blood instantly spatters about 10 feet up the wall of the house. Then there’s the awkward silence, followed by “you know, we could get another cat, we could do it again.”[/quote]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Reno 911 is fucking histerical.

I remember one episode where they answer a call at a house, and a guy in a bath robe comes out and is talking to the officers about how his dog has been sick for a long time but he doesnt have enough money to put it to sleep, so he asks them to shoot the dog.

They finally agree, and walk to the side of the house where the dog is sitting behind a garbage can… They shoot it.

The neighbor comes out, angry, asking “What the hell is going on over here?” Then looks shocked.

The guy who asked the cops to shoot the dog then screams “I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT DOG OFF OF MY PROPERTY!!!”

Hahahhaah. I was laughing SO hard.

Animal abuse always makes me laugh.

I was at a group sex party once where this guy was taking this other guy’s wife from behind and he slipped it up her butt…she vocally let him know that she wasn’t into that by screaming ‘ow…ow…ow…get it outta my butt…get it owwwwwwwwwt’…her husband jumped the guy, pushed him off his wife…

he then grabbed his wife’s hand and stormed out of the room…they put on their clothes and the guy popped his head back in the room and yelled at the guy some more…kind of killed the party…made me laugh like hell though and to this day She Say and I will crack up everytime we remember it…

Yeah, this is the type I’m talking about. You know you shouldn’t laugh, maybe you don’t even want too, but it’s just too damn funny.

[quote]Renton wrote:
on edge wrote:
Yesterday I was walking past my deaf neighbors house when I saw his cat meowing at the front door. I’m still chuckling.

LOL!

Here’s one (another cat related).

A mate who is a police officer got called out by an old lady when a lorry driver pulled up in his truck outside her house, got out of his cab and grabbed a spade and beat her cat to death with it (The cat had just run out of the house and was sunning itself on it’s back).

She took the vehicles number and it was traced.

My mate went to the lorry depot to find out what was going on. Apparently the driver had tried to swerve to miss the cat and had hit it so he thought the kindest thing to do was to give it a swift ending.

Only problem was, that when the checked his vehicle, there was another dead cat that had been minced and caught up behind his mud flap.

To this day I can just imagine the look on that old girls face when some hairy assed lorry driver murdered her perfectly healthy cat. Not to mention the surprise the cat must have felt.[/quote]

50 cal vs. prairie dog… outcome?

The infamous “Grape Stomp” is not to be forgotten, but I can’t get the link to paste correctly…little help anyone?

I watched Sweeney Todd about a month ago. Some of you may remember the scene where he rigs his barber’s chair to where the bodies fall violently on their heads once they fall through the facade on the floor.

I saw it in theatre, and I got the most bizarre look when I realized I was the only one laughing hysterically at the violent crunch made when the bodies hit the floor.

Oh, and insurgents hiding inside buildings that get turned to Swiss cheese via the grace of 1,000 rounds of 7.62mm sweetness never fails to arouse me.

I laugh like a little kid when I see this.