Modest Proposal for Valentine?s Day
What could be more fitting and appropriate for the men and women of T-Nation than for us to provide a different point of view than that presented in the Vagina Monologue. The Vagina Monologue has become a cultural event around Valentine?s Day. ?.. Since most penises are friendlier and out going than many vaginas, our missive could be called something like the PENIS DISCUSSIONS AND DICOTOMIES or, maybe a round table discussion or? something of the sort.
TC would be a natural to lead the charge and provide a counterpoint to Eve Ensler or Jane Fonda. I can just see the tv interviews on THE VIEW or even CBS NEWS with the perky one! If as successful as the monologues are, Biotest could charge a modest fee to all the fraternities using the work as counter programming at their colleges and universities. (The fee would be used to support research in the secret Biotest lab.)
Tim Patterson , Chris Shugart, David Barr, Dr. John Berardi, Alwyn Cosgrove, Eric Cressey, Dan John, Dr. Lonnie Lowery, Charles Poliquin, Mike Robertson Charles Staley, Dave Tate, Christian Thibaudeau, other guest authors and member of T-Nation (including the Vixens) could all share their perspectives. If successful, TC could offer the ensuing book as a follow up to his current best seller. (Several caveats: (1) the compendium must never be sold in paper/soft back? always hard back; (2) all vignettes must be uplifting.) There could also be a video! Think of the possibilities!
What do you say T-Nation? Can we get behind this idea and petition the powers that be to go forward?
I leave for Antarctica tonight to plug the ozone and CO2 hole that keeps us from spinning into outer space. Should I return by Spring, I hope that a new cultural awakening is underway. Remember: Stay strong; press on!
My final thought is a quote from philosopher Ken Wilber ?genuine knowledge must be open to disproof, or else it is simply dogma?
The Vagina Monologues is made up of a varying number of monologues read by a varying number of women (initially, Eve Ensler performed every monologue herself, with subsequent performances featuring three actresses, and more recent versions featuring a different actress for every role). Every monologue somehow relates to the vagina, be it through sex, love, rape, menstruation, mutilation, masturbation, birth, orgasm, the variety of names for the vagina, or simply as a physical aspect of the female body. A recurring theme throughout the piece is the vagina as a tool of female empowerment, and the ultimate embodiment of individuality. Some monologues include:
? I Was Twelve, My Mother Slapped Me: a chorus describing many young women’s and girls’ first menstrual period.
? My Angry Vagina, in which a woman humorously rants about injustices wrought against the vagina, such as tampons, douches, and the tools used by OB/GYNs
? My Vagina Was My Village, a monologue compiled from the testimonies of Bosnian women subjected to rape camps.
? The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could, in which a woman recalls memories of traumatic sexual experiences in her childhood and a self-described “positive healing” sexual experience in her adolescent years with an older woman. In the original version, she is 13, but later versions would change her age to 16. This particular skit has sparked numerous controversies and criticisms due to its content (see below).
? The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy, in which a dominatrix for women discusses the intriguing details of her career and her love of giving women pleasure. In several performances it often comes at the end of the play, literally climaxing with a vocal demonstration of a “triple orgasm.”
? Because He Liked to Look At It, in which a woman describes how she came to love her vagina because of a sexual experience with a man who was in awe of vaginas.
? I Was There In The Room, a monologue in which Eve Ensler describes the birth of her granddaughter.
Every year a new monologue is added to highlight a current issue affecting women around the world. In 2003, for example, a skit was made concerning the plight of women in Afghanistan under Taliban rule.
Eve Ensler wrote the first draft of the monologues in 1996 (there have been several revisions since) following interviews she conducted with 200 women about their views on sex, relationships, and violence against women. The interviews began as casual conversations with her friends, who then brought up anecdotes they themselves had been told by other friends; this began a continuing chain of referrals. In an interview with women.com, Ensler said that her fascination with vaginas began because of “growing up in a violent society.”  “Women’s empowerment is deeply connected to their sexuality.” She also stated, “I’m obsessed with women being violated and raped, and with incest. All of these things are deeply connected to our vaginas.”
Ensler wrote the piece to “celebrate the vagina,” which is described in one monologue as being superior to the penis because it contains the clitoris, which the monologues describe as the only body part in existence that has the sole purpose of giving pleasure. Ensler sees the vagina as being a tool of empowerment through which women can achieve total femininity and individuality. She claims inspiration for the piece came from Tina Turner: “I love Tina Turner. She’s a woman who fully inhabits her vagina.”  Ensler states that in 1998, the purpose of the piece changed from a celebration of vaginas and femininity to a movement to stop violence against women.
The first performance of the play was in the basement of the Cornelia Street Caf? in New York, New York in 1996. The play gained popularity through a word of mouth campaign that culminated with a performance at Madison Square Garden in 2001, which featured Melissa Etheridge and Whoopi Goldberg performing segments of the play.
The Vagina Monologues are the cornerstone of the V-Day movement, whose participants stage benefit performances of the show worldwide each Valentine’s Day. The “V” in V-Day stands for Valentine, Vagina, and Victory, linking love and respect for women to ending violence against women and girls. The proceeds from these performances go to programs that assist victims of domestic violence.
V-Day has raised (and donated) over $30 million dollars and exists in 81 different countries. The organization has worked directly with women in regions like Cairo, Kenya and the Pine Ridge Reservation to build safe houses and support political resistance.
On February 21. 2004, Eve Ensler in conjuction with Jane Fonda and Deep Stealth Productions produced and directed a new series of transgender monologues read by eighteen notable trans women, which documented the experiences of Transgender persons. It debuted in connection with “LA V-DAY until the Violence Stops” with moving monologues documenting the violence against Transgenders. The dialogue entitled “They Beat the Girl out of my Boy or so They Tried” was most moving and representative. Since that debut the Womans’ Centers of many universities and colleges have added these three TG monologues to the original production. It is called The Transgender Vagina Monolgues and may still be produced with permission except at Catholic Colleges.