T Nation

Mini Old Guy Deadpool

First off, no, I don’t wish death upon anyone…BUT…who’s going to kick off first…Helio Gracie or Jack LaLanne???

I was super-bored at work today, and I had just read an interview with Helio in “Grappling” magazine. And it got me thinking of how much longer these 2 physical anomolies will stick around. Here’s the facts (feel free to correct me, if you see the need):

Helio Gracie - 92 years old. Trains Brazilian Jiujitsu for 2-3 hours every day, against guys a third his age. Eats strictly “The Gracie Diet”, which emphasizes meats, fruits, and certain food combining methods.

Jack LaLanne - 90 years old. Weight-trains for 1 hour and swims for 1 hour, every morning. Eats a predominantly lacto-ovo vegetarian diet (no animal products, except for some fish and eggs). Also adheres to the motto “If man made it, don’t eat it.”

Now, I have no ill will towards either gentleman, but I’m saying that Jack’s going first. Every time I see him on t.v., he seems a bit more gone, mentally. I get the impression that Helio is more active mentally, and that’s usually a big key in staying around.

Never heard of the hello kitty person. Maybe your losin’ it mentally & not Jack the badass! Jack will still be around when he’s 110 I’m sure.

The fisrt to go will be Joe Weider or maybe Nautilus Jones.

Gracie is more likely to get injured–?

[quote]BRUCELEEWANNABE wrote:
Never heard of the hello kitty person. Maybe your losin’ it mentally & not Jack the badass! Jack will still be around when he’s 110 I’m sure.

The fisrt to go will be Joe Weider or maybe Nautilus Jones.[/quote]

I’m not going anywhere, thanks…

[quote]BRUCELEEWANNABE wrote:
Never heard of the hello kitty person.[/quote]

This Brazilian Badass created what is arguably the single most effective, well-known, and widely recognized martial art; Gracie JiuJitsu. One of his sons helped to create the UFC. His style has influenced nearly every single professional MMA fighter, in the fact that one of his other sons won the first 3 UFC’s using textbook Brazilian JiuJitsu, which brought it into the light, and proved that in a “no holds barred” situation, effective grappling skills are essential.

If you have any interest in Martial Arts and you’ve never heard of him, that’s like saying…“yeah, that English guy who won Mr. Olympia 7 times, Dorian What’s-his-face.”

He has been quoted as saying “I can’t die, it would be bad for my reputation.” So, you may be onto something there.

[quote]Minotaur wrote:
If you have any interest in Martial Arts and you’ve never heard of him, that’s like saying…“yeah, that English guy who won Mr. Olympia 7 times, Dorian What’s-his-face.”[/quote]

English guy? Dorian?

…that was Dorian Grey, wasn’t it?
I’ve seen his picture. He wasn’t that big.

I don’t know who will be the first to go, as I’m pretty sure they both bathe in the blood of virgins. I will, however, predict that Jack’s demise will come when, for his 100th birthday, he tries to run the Boston Marathon.

While pulling a 747.

And drinking only beet juice.

And wearing a parka.

With a 45# plate secured around his penis.

~Terumo

[quote]Joe Weider wrote:
Minotaur wrote:
If you have any interest in Martial Arts and you’ve never heard of him, that’s like saying…“yeah, that English guy who won Mr. Olympia 7 times, Dorian What’s-his-face.”

English guy? Dorian?

…that was Dorian Grey, wasn’t it?
I’ve seen his picture. He wasn’t that big.[/quote]

Ya, he was going to live forever, but then he went insane and killed this painting that was aging for him, then for some reason he died too…

Orbit, that avatar is the bomb!

[quote]Orbitalboner wrote:
Joe Weider wrote:
Minotaur wrote:
If you have any interest in Martial Arts and you’ve never heard of him, that’s like saying…“yeah, that English guy who won Mr. Olympia 7 times, Dorian What’s-his-face.”

English guy? Dorian?

…that was Dorian Grey, wasn’t it?
I’ve seen his picture. He wasn’t that big.

Ya, he was going to live forever, but then he went insane and killed this painting that was aging for him, then for some reason he died too…[/quote]

couldn’t that explain all of Dorian’s injuries???

:wink:

[quote]Minotaur wrote:
BRUCELEEWANNABE wrote:
Never heard of the hello kitty person.

This Brazilian Badass created what is arguably the single most effective, well-known, and widely recognized martial art; Gracie JiuJitsu. One of his sons helped to create the UFC. His style has influenced nearly every single professional MMA fighter, in the fact that one of his other sons won the first 3 UFC’s using textbook Brazilian JiuJitsu, which brought it into the light, and proved that in a “no holds barred” situation, effective grappling skills are essential.

If you have any interest in Martial Arts and you’ve never heard of him, that’s like saying…“yeah, that English guy who won Mr. Olympia 7 times, Dorian What’s-his-face.”[/quote]

Ok! NOw with some more bio on him, sure I know who your talking about! Yea, that dude IS in great shape & one hell of a go-getter! Both of them will around well past Weider & Jones!

[quote]Terumo wrote:
I don’t know who will be the first to go, as I’m pretty sure they both bathe in the blood of virgins. I will, however, predict that Jack’s demise will come when, for his 100th birthday, he tries to run the Boston Marathon.

While pulling a 747.

And drinking only beet juice.

And wearing a parka.

With a 45# plate secured around his penis.

~Terumo[/quote]

That shit was tooooo funny! Yeah, most likely, Jack is a wild guy full of energy! He said a few yrs. back he still wakes up w/ an erection that a cat couldn’t scratch! Hahahahha! Is that funny as hell or what. His wife says he a sex machine!

[quote]Vegita wrote:
Orbit, that avatar is the bomb![/quote]

Yeah it is! They’re fuckin!

Damn right they are! Interracial cartoon porn is where it’s at…

Guys aren’t you forgetting something, people don’t die unless Al Shades sees them die. Gosh, fricken idiots!