T Nation

Messing with Twilight Fans

I never would have heard of Twilight if it weren’t for this website, which is disappointing given the nature of most of the material here. Still don’t know much about it, except that the town where it was filmed is now a tourist destination which I learned from the nightly news, another disappointing realization that the news isn’t worth watching anymore.

But, in a society where politeness and decency are valued to a high degree, where people are expected to smile at everyone and feign enthusiasm over menial and stupid things, a stunt like this is awesome.

Most assholes are punished to some degree in social situations, unless they have a certain degree of charm or unfuckwithableness, but these guys had neither and managed to pull it off gracefully. The cum in the hair joke was brutal and most of the participants bought into it.

If something like this happened to me, I would be extremely agitated, like kill you, your dog, your whole family agitated. I wouldn’t do it, but I would be fuming and definitely thinking about the unholiness I would like to release on the perpetrator.

However, it does serve as a nice little reminder to not take myself, my identity, and my interests so seriously, in case I find out that my life amounts to some cosmic joke played by someone who knows a little more than I do.

Its really admirable how some people would be laughing after being fucked with so badly, and I think I would like to possess more of these personality characteristics.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=45524

I thought your description was more interesting than the video.

Pretty good, I feel like he could’ve ripped into them a little more though.

WIN

I hate Twilight fans, but to do this to people is wrong, man. Imagine if you did that to Star Wars nerds when Episode 1 or 3 came out. Or when Iron Man 2 comes out.

The fans handled it pretty well. Based on what I imagined the average fan of Twilight to be like, I expected some commiserating to Skinny Puppy music and a great deal of wrist cutting.

I can’t fault people for being obsessed with something I deem retarded, though. If you were to dissect some of the things I’m obsessed with, some people would think I was a retard too.

Example:

Terminator: Instead of using time travelling technology to communicate with the great leaders and thinkers of history, an Austrian-accented robot is assigned to kill a mullet-headed short order waitress.

Craft Beer Appreciation: Groups of middle-aged, typically overweight males gathering in dusty pubs to discuss oaky aftertones, generous lacing and International Bitterness Units.

Squats: Loading weight onto your back, assuming the position in which half the world’s population defecates in, and repeating until no longer possible.

I was amused.

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
The fans handled it pretty well. Based on what I imagined the average fan of Twilight to be like, I expected some commiserating to Skinny Puppy music and a great deal of wrist cutting.

I can’t fault people for being obsessed with something I deem retarded, though. If you were to dissect some of the things I’m obsessed with, some people would think I was a retard too.

Example:

Terminator: Instead of using time travelling technology to communicate with the great leaders and thinkers of history, an Austrian-accented robot is assigned to kill a mullet-headed short order waitress.

Craft Beer Appreciation: Groups of middle-aged, typically overweight males gathering in dusty pubs to discuss oaky aftertones, generous lacing and International Bitterness Units.

Squats: Loading weight onto your back, assuming the position in which half the world’s population defecates in, and repeating until no longer possible.

[/quote]

A story about a vampire who sparkles in the sunlight.

“THEY WILL RAPE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!”
“WOOOOOOOO!!!”
“Why are you CHEERING?!”

If you’ll excuse the plug for my site, I actually reviewed Twilight on my blog. Thought you guys might enjoy it.

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/383/its-not-like-you-can-say-i-didnt-try/

[quote]Petermus wrote:

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
The fans handled it pretty well. Based on what I imagined the average fan of Twilight to be like, I expected some commiserating to Skinny Puppy music and a great deal of wrist cutting.

I can’t fault people for being obsessed with something I deem retarded, though. If you were to dissect some of the things I’m obsessed with, some people would think I was a retard too.

Example:

Terminator: Instead of using time travelling technology to communicate with the great leaders and thinkers of history, an Austrian-accented robot is assigned to kill a mullet-headed short order waitress.

Craft Beer Appreciation: Groups of middle-aged, typically overweight males gathering in dusty pubs to discuss oaky aftertones, generous lacing and International Bitterness Units.

Squats: Loading weight onto your back, assuming the position in which half the world’s population defecates in, and repeating until no longer possible.

[/quote]

A story about a vampire who sparkles in the sunlight.[/quote]

A story about Vampires who sparkle in sunlight and a dumb bitch who loves them even though he will kill her her is 10 times more retarded than any obsession you listed, Pimpbot.

[quote]John Roman wrote:
If you’ll excuse the plug for my site, I actually reviewed Twilight on my blog. Thought you guys might enjoy it.

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/383/its-not-like-you-can-say-i-didnt-try/[/quote]

Least you were honest about the plug.

[quote]John Roman wrote:
If you’ll excuse the plug for my site, I actually reviewed Twilight on my blog. Thought you guys might enjoy it.

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/383/its-not-like-you-can-say-i-didnt-try/[/quote]

I haven’t read them, nor do I really ever plan to. But I do agree based on what little I know of the plot that it’s incredibly dumb. It’s only saving grace in my opinion is that it has people reading… or watching movies and then reading.

[quote]WolBarret wrote:
I hate Twilight fans, but to do this to people is wrong, man. Imagine if you did that to Star Wars nerds when Episode 1 or 3 came out. Or when Iron Man 2 comes out. [/quote]

You would get a light saber to the face.

[quote]John Roman wrote:
If you’ll excuse the plug for my site, I actually reviewed Twilight on my blog. Thought you guys might enjoy it.

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/383/its-not-like-you-can-say-i-didnt-try/[/quote]

Had some good laughs.

[quote]chimera182 wrote:

[quote]John Roman wrote:
If you’ll excuse the plug for my site, I actually reviewed Twilight on my blog. Thought you guys might enjoy it.

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/383/its-not-like-you-can-say-i-didnt-try/[/quote]

I haven’t read them, nor do I really ever plan to. But I do agree based on what little I know of the plot that it’s incredibly dumb. It’s only saving grace in my opinion is that it has people reading… or watching movies and then reading.[/quote]

Gotta agree with you there. It’s like the Harry Potter books suddenly made it popular for kids to not only read but to actually read 500+ page books! Back when I was a kid, I was a nerd for voluntarily reading scifi novels and long books like those by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Since the whole J.K. Rowling phenomenon, the taste for reading fantasy novels (good or bad) hasn’t let up a bit. If you look around a bookstore, those books are coming out of the woodwork and selling to the kids like hotcakes. You’ve got Artemis Fowl, Charlie Bone, Spiderwick Chronicles, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and now Twilight and a slew of other vampire imitators.

Harry Potter really is a wizard. He made it cool for kids to read.

[quote]BobParr wrote:

[quote]chimera182 wrote:

[quote]John Roman wrote:
If you’ll excuse the plug for my site, I actually reviewed Twilight on my blog. Thought you guys might enjoy it.

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/383/its-not-like-you-can-say-i-didnt-try/[/quote]

I haven’t read them, nor do I really ever plan to. But I do agree based on what little I know of the plot that it’s incredibly dumb. It’s only saving grace in my opinion is that it has people reading… or watching movies and then reading.[/quote]

Gotta agree with you there. It’s like the Harry Potter books suddenly made it popular for kids to not only read but to actually read 500+ page books! Back when I was a kid, I was a nerd for voluntarily reading scifi novels and long books like those by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Since the whole J.K. Rowling phenomenon, the taste for reading fantasy novels (good or bad) hasn’t let up a bit. If you look around a bookstore, those books are coming out of the woodwork and selling to the kids like hotcakes. You’ve got Artemis Fowl, Charlie Bone, Spiderwick Chronicles, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and now Twilight and a slew of other vampire imitators.

Harry Potter really is a wizard. He made it cool for kids to read.[/quote]

I look forward to the day when people don’t look at you weird if you they hear that you’ve more than one book in a week.

son of a fuck! this shit again? c’mon now! we don’t do this stuff here. remember, we stay wicked at all times.

Stephen King said her books suck, twilight fans say he’s just jealous, his response. Pretty funny

[quote]BobParr wrote:

[quote]chimera182 wrote:

[quote]John Roman wrote:
If you’ll excuse the plug for my site, I actually reviewed Twilight on my blog. Thought you guys might enjoy it.

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/383/its-not-like-you-can-say-i-didnt-try/[/quote]

I haven’t read them, nor do I really ever plan to. But I do agree based on what little I know of the plot that it’s incredibly dumb. It’s only saving grace in my opinion is that it has people reading… or watching movies and then reading.[/quote]

Gotta agree with you there. It’s like the Harry Potter books suddenly made it popular for kids to not only read but to actually read 500+ page books! Back when I was a kid, I was a nerd for voluntarily reading scifi novels and long books like those by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Since the whole J.K. Rowling phenomenon, the taste for reading fantasy novels (good or bad) hasn’t let up a bit. If you look around a bookstore, those books are coming out of the woodwork and selling to the kids like hotcakes. You’ve got Artemis Fowl, Charlie Bone, Spiderwick Chronicles, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and now Twilight and a slew of other vampire imitators.

Harry Potter really is a wizard. He made it cool for kids to read.[/quote]

You bring up a point I often make when talking about HP and Twilight.

One thing about me is that I am a hopeless bibliophile. Books are my love and scifi/fantasy is my true pleasure–sometimes a guilty one.

I have read LotR once per year, every single year from the time I was 8. I am about to begin again (I normally read it over the holidays).

I believe that it is important to read the Lord of the Rings. Not just because I love it, and not just because it is a great book, but because it influenced literally every single book that has been published since it was written. The fact that it is the second best selling book of all time (after the bible) notwithstanding, LotR is what we’d call a game changer. In addition to creating a Anglican Mythos, it created an entire genre.

Harry Potter, likewise, was more than a series about a boy wizard: it was a full on cultural phenomenon. Not only did Harry inspire an entire generation of children to start reading, he did just what you mentioned: proved that sci-fi fantasy could be cool, and even where kids were concerned, could be a commercially viable prospect–intensely so.

Regarding Twilight: at this point I don’t think we can argue that it’s taken on a life of it’s own, and is a culture phenomenon. And based on that, I think if you are like me and you just love books, it’s worth picking up. When a book gets this much attention, I simply cannot abide not reading it.

One of the only things I enjoy more than reading is pop-culture and social responses to it. Twilight fascinates me, based on that.

I certainly didn’t care for the books, but I have to say this: for someone like me, not reading them wasn’t a possibility.

I’ll say this, though: Harry Potter earned his place–not only did I enjoy those books immensely, I also understand why they became popular.

With Twilight, I’m still a bit befuddled.

Ultimately, I think this: At the end of all of this, Harry Potter and his stories will have a comfortable place on the Bookshelf of Classics. Despite his later arrival, he will have a place on the same shelf as Frodo and Sam, Tom and Huck, Oliver Twist, Holden Caufield, Tyler Durden, John Galt, Robinson Crusoe, Dorothy Gale and Sherlock Holmes.

I say that with confidence.

Edward and Bella will be forgotten.