There I am, getting my morning cup of coffee and cruising the magazine rack when I finally arrive to the section I was looking for… and nestled comfortably inbetween FHM, Maxim, Men’s Health, and Low Rider I see something that just doesn’t fit. I see the pearly white smile of Tiger Woods staring back at me with the letters “MEN’S VOGUE” printed above his shiney head.
Now while I am a huge advocate of not judging a book by its’ cover, I opted to leave this one alone, and back away slowly. Thoughts came streaming into my head about the articles of this “men’s” magazine, and what they may be about…
“Take our dating quiz…”
“How to be a better metro-sexual?”
“Are you too manly?”
“Nude Brad Pitt photos inside!”
While half of me wanted to yank the Bic our of my pocket and light the entire rack on fire, I seemingly controlled my anger and reminded myself that I had not yet recieved my coffee and maybe I was just seeing things.
Walking away I glanced back and realized that the magazine is actually real. Tiger’s scantily clad outfit and ridiculous little smirk made me want to puke.
Someone please tell me this is an isolated test case and there were scientists behind a glass window somewhere monitoring my reactions in hope of finding a cure for cancer or something… Someone?