T Nation

Men vs. Women



I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


If you really did that, it is great! Props man. Good thinking.


Great retelling of a classic internet email bit that has been around for 8 to 10 years.

I would love to see soemone actually try and pull this move, get it on video. My money says she would freak and start throwing punches.


Nope just an email I got. Thought it was funny so I shared.


It would be a great way to dump someone if she was a real bitch.


This is why women should be financially independent and be able to buy their own motorcycles, er, I mean jewelery.


Amen, Amen.


I had a good chuckle, thanks.


WOWW!! highly needed laugh . . . what an awesome story, man. wish I could see that one happen. well done!


Yeah, except then "her" money is her money, but "his" money is "their" money.


That was awesome! HA!!


That's why "my money" will go into a seperate account.


I thought it was "I'm pregnant".

Great story man, thanks for sharing.


If you were married, you'd have separate accounts?


Isn't it possible to make a seperate account that no one else knows about but him?




I know people who do and it saves much of the trouble being talked about here. It is even more likely if both people make decent incomes. If my wife is pulling near as much, or hell, even more than me, why the hell would my money be used for "us"? I personally am not ok with being used in a relationship. Maybe others are.


Actually we did this for about the first seven years of our marriage until we bought a house together. After seven years you've pretty much figured out if someone is going to be a slacker or not. We never fight over money. Actually, we rarely fight period.


Prolly because you'd kick his japenese ass.