T Nation

Meltdown 2004

This is rich, just too rich. The word Schadenfreude can’t do it justice.

The Something for Nothing Club gears up to whoop up on an incumbent blessed with high negatives in the polls, a sticky situation in Iraq, some so-so economic numbers, and the usual hostile NYT, WaPo, ABCBSNBC media mob. Probably not the easiest job for them to do, but not nearly the hardest either.

So they start with Howard “Primeval Scream” Dean way out in front and boy, is he PISSED. Problem is , he’s pissed off at the Beltway Democratic Establishment as well. They ain’t goin’ for that. Play games with his mic, let him be himself- problem solved.

It’s better to go with a safer pick, one that won’t alienate the base or the establishment. Into the fray goes Lurch. True, he’s a backbenching pompous, wooden Massachusetts Lib who doesn’t have much at all to show for 20 years in the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body. Then again, hey, he doesn’t have a drinking problem either, so why not? True again, he is a self-confessed war criminal who served in a police action that vast swaths of the older Democratic base regard as a criminal war. He is the best chance, though. Hooray!

How to sell this guy to a voting block big enough to get him elected? Bay State liberalism ain’t gonna fill the bill. Besides, the only real difference between the two is tax and spend verses tax cut and spend more. Can’t win on that.

War Hero, that’s the ticket. Dubbya spent time hod-rodding around in a dangerous, obsolete interceptor for the TANG, and then didn’t, while War Hero spent 18 weeks in the NAM mixing it up close and personal with Victor Charlie. Plus, he’s got (count 'em) five medals pinned on his chest. Just ask him about it. Sweet, bro. The Dems drew a little, but obviously not enough, blood on Dubbya and the contrast should be enough to DO THIS THING!

Now, I remember one night channel surfing and coming across one of those political shows that bores viewers to death. Carville was on, and he wasn’t going ballistic all the time as usual. Now, he was quite reasonable and actually had something to say. When you are doing Oppositon Research, put your most intrepid sleuth ON YOUR OWN GUY. Makes perfect sense if you’re pimping Bubba to the Heartland. Check your six as Dubbya was probably cautioned again and again. Check it very well indeed.

Great advice, but did the DNC or the Kerry campaign, or their liberal allies heed it? Had they done so, they might have seen a young officer in the Naval Reserve on camera in front of Congress under oath calling his comrades in arms war criminals and leveling unproven allegations of tacit approval of such all the way up the chain of command. Could this not be construed as giving aid and comfort adi to those Uncle Sam was dropping more bombs on than he did them Naziis back in the second BIG ONE? They might have checked into memories of Christmas '68 in Cambodia under the orders of a CIC not yet in office. They might have checked on the first ever V for valor awarded with his Silver Star, and the multiple reports that went with it, and that the Navy is now investigating. They might have checked on the ‘minor flesh wound,’ accounts of how is was recieved, and the angling to get the Purple Heart for it. They might have poured over the records of Kerry’s fulfillment of drill requirements for the Naval Reserve when he got back to the World. They might have taken a gander at his home-made, dress-up war movies. They might have run some focus-group polls on what the two and a half million Vietnam Vets might think about Kerry and his antics. They might have gotten in touch with those in his Band of Brothers that he doesn’t keep in five star hotels for his dog and pony show. They might have chatted up a few former POW’s and asked them about Kerry’s Congressional testimony. It might have saved them a wee bit of trouble.

On to the media the story goes. You kind of knew it must when Susan Dumbbitch,oops, I mean Estrich, goes on the attack like that. Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore indeed. It’s on! Anyway, the GOP has a dandy convention with a nice poll bump, the Swifties are scoring hits, Kerry’s numbers are dropping. Something has to be done. No worries, Danger Dan to the rescue.

Um, yeah, so what’s the story now? What are the media talking points? Watch some tube, surf the web. Something about a documentation problem concerning some memos, and some partisan Kerry guy (not identified as such by Danger Dan) whose own daughter is calling him a liar, Barnes might be the name? And how 'bout that Kitty Kelly?

Could anybody make this shit up? Aren’t these folks the best and the brightest the Donkey’s got? Isn’t this the most important election in blah, blah, blah? So maybe Dubbya ain’t packin’ a whole lotta gray matter under that ten gallon hat. But then again, does he need to up against this crew?

Advice to Kerry- fire everybody, even the Clinton people (especially them- they will stab you in the back for sure), gather up the Meal Ticket and get thee pronto to Froggyville. Make yourself at home and settle in for a while, a long while. Absence is your only hope in the polls, if history is any guide.

tme, elk, RSU, especially you, Lumpy, help me out with this. By the way Lumpy, haven’t seen too many posts from you lately. Haven’t been writing memos for Danger Dan Rather in MS Word, have you?

The Republicans, being what they are, could really F up and shitcan this thing yet. At this point, thought, it’s tough to see them doing so, no matter how hard they try.

hahhaha

this is priceles…nice work…i wish i could make this my away message.

Very nicely written…contains indictments of both parties really, but perfectly nails the den of thieves that the democratic party has become.

I’m starting to have my doubts that this is going to be a tight race.

Bush has a real opportunity to run away with this election if he starts getting into more detail about his plans for the next four years. Actually, he doesn’t need all that much detail, just enough to give people something to chew on.

People are starting to get tired of who served honorably or not. The saturation is getting to the point that Americans won’t care anymore. But is Kerry going to figure that out? No. He’s seen the damage that the Swiftboat vets have done and is now convinced that he can dish out the same. And when the polls don’t react to his attacks on Bush, then he’s going to double his efforts even more. So while Kerry rides his attacks until the wheels fall off, Americans are going to drift more towards Bush. When all is said and done, the Dems will still reply that they didn’t get their message out.

It still could be a tight race - at least in terms of the overal percent of vote - however, it’s trending toward a decent Bush win in the electoral college.

That said, the trends have gone back and forth, and the Republicans could still do something stupid to screw it up and let Kerry get off the mat – perhaps not as stupid as supplying forged memos to a news network, but each party is perfectly capable of mucking things up.

I just don’t want anyone to let up and allow Kerry to sneak back in.

Also, re: tight race,

Remember this: The media is in this for the story. They have a pre-tested meme that John Kerry is “a good closer.” So, any gains he makes in the polls are going to be trumpeted loudly with headlines such as “Kerry Closing In!” or “Bush Lead Evaporating in the Face of Kerry’s Late Run!” These will start at the first gains Kerry makes in the polls, or whenever the media talking heads tire of talking about how Kerry is imploding, whichever comes first (they can manufacture the story whenever they want just by looking at different polls or by looking at registered voters instead of likely voters).

[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
Also, re: tight race,

Remember this: The media is in this for the story. They have a pre-tested meme that John Kerry is “a good closer.” So, any gains he makes in the polls are going to be trumpeted loudly with headlines such as “Kerry Closing In!” or “Bush Lead Evaporating in the Face of Kerry’s Late Run!” These will start at the first gains Kerry makes in the polls, or whenever the media talking heads tire of talking about how Kerry is imploding, whichever comes first (they can manufacture the story whenever they want just by looking at different polls or by looking at registered voters instead of likely voters).[/quote]

True! I can already hear it now. When Kerry gains 2 points in the polls, the media will announce that Kerry is back and Bush is losing traction and in trouble.