T Nation

Meat: Making Global Warming Worse

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1839995,00.html?cnn=yes

Proof that the GW activists have lost their fucking minds!

The only interesting tidbit in the story is the stat that says the industrial world produces less greenhouse gasses than cattle. Hence, get your self muscle car and be guilt free.

Now, if you try to take away my meat, there will be a war. The 2nd amendment is there to protect my meat! I don’t give shit if the mean temperature goes up 50 degrees 'cause of it.

Damn.

Surprise, it’s from the geniuses at the UN IPCC. Maybe one day America will be as environmentally friendly as Africa… oh, wait…

(To the tune of Elmer Fudd singing “Kill the Wabbit,” aka Ride of the Valkyries)

“Kill the cattle, kill the cattle, kill the cattle, kill the cattle! Kill the cattle, kill the cattle, kill the CAT-tle… KILL-THE-CATTLE!!!”

Can’t even kill 'em, though. The rotting corpses would emit greenhouse gasses. And heaven forbid we eat them, that would be barbaric. We can’t launch them all into space since that would burn up tons of fossil fuels. I guess we’ll have to catapult all edible farm animals into the sun, and then live our remaining glorious days as vegetarian subsistence farmers, barely surviving on grasses and roots.

[quote]MrRezister wrote:
Can’t even kill 'em, though. The rotting corpses would emit greenhouse gasses. And heaven forbid we eat them, that would be barbaric. We can’t launch them all into space since that would burn up tons of fossil fuels. I guess we’ll have to catapult all edible farm animals into the sun, and then live our remaining glorious days as vegetarian subsistence farmers, barely surviving on grasses and roots.[/quote]

Yes, but then we’d fart as much as the cattle, so the problem would just continue…Oh the injustice!

Sure is a good thing then, as opposed to barbaric as we’ve viewed it till now, that the vast herds of American bison were all needlessly slaughtered. The greenhouse gases from that vast number of bison would undoubtedly have destroyed the planet had they been allowed to live.

Exactly how the planet survived till we killed those bison is not clear.

That’s probably what killed the dinosaurs. They just couldn’t quit eating meat. If those stupid peanut-brained T-rexes had just switched to bamboo, maybe they’d be around today to eat some of those stupid libs at the UN.

[quote]Bill Roberts wrote:
(To the tune of Elmer Fudd singing “Kill the Wabbit,” aka Ride of the Valkyries)

“Kill the cattle, kill the cattle, kill the cattle, kill the cattle! Kill the cattle, kill the cattle, kill the CAT-tle… KILL-THE-CATTLE!!!”[/quote]

Not so fast!

[quote]pat wrote:
MrRezister wrote:
Can’t even kill 'em, though. The rotting corpses would emit greenhouse gasses. And heaven forbid we eat them, that would be barbaric. We can’t launch them all into space since that would burn up tons of fossil fuels. I guess we’ll have to catapult all edible farm animals into the sun, and then live our remaining glorious days as vegetarian subsistence farmers, barely surviving on grasses and roots.

Yes, but then we’d fart as much as the cattle, so the problem would just continue…Oh the injustice![/quote]

It seems then that the UN neglected to study the global warming effects of human vegetarians from how much they fart as a consequence of their wussy diet.

Quite possibly they are a worse global warming problem than the cattle (which in turn are, the UN admits, worse than all of human industry combined) so the real solution may be to get rid of the vegetarians.

[quote]Bill Roberts wrote:
It seems then that the UN neglected to study the global warming effects of human vegetarians from how much they fart as a consequence of their wussy diet.
[/quote]

Holy hell, can you imagine the methane produced from black beans AND tofu?

Not to mention the stench?

[quote]rainjack wrote:
Bill Roberts wrote:
It seems then that the UN neglected to study the global warming effects of human vegetarians from how much they fart as a consequence of their wussy diet.

Holy hell, can you imagine the methane produced from black beans AND tofu?

Not to mention the stench? [/quote]

Go write a paper. Your “Farting = GW” theory could actually get you a PhD.
It worked for Stan’s dad, why not for you?
I’m not kidding.

If I go for a PhD again (did everything needed for one in medicinal chemistry except ever get around to writing the last few chapters of my thesis, though all the material had already been published in peer-reviewed journals: my professor says I’m probably the only person in the world who has ever gotten all their research published but not written the thesis) it would be in psychology, the research being on structure and function of ego states in the non-dissociative individual. Not that I would have a professor or school that wanted such research, the dissertation would have to be on something stupid, but I would justify myself the resulting phony doctorate from also having this genuinely sound research that I would do in addition on the side.

Though what you suggest is indeed true I think: a global-warming-related PhD is undoubtedly easy to get and would require no good science behind it whatsoever, plus grant money is probably in vast supply.

When oh when oh when, (I said it again) will we ever learn how utterly worthless the UN is to the US and excise the damn thing from our borders? Let Lixy and Schwarz… whatever the hell his name is build them a chateau somewhere in their neighborhood.

[quote]Bill Roberts wrote:

Though what you suggest is indeed true I think: a global-warming-related PhD is undoubtedly easy to get and would require no good science behind it whatsoever, plus grant money is probably in vast supply.[/quote]

Global warming is a cash cow for researchers. It is such a joke now it is impossible to trust anything.

Maybe they can use all the cows to stop the real villian here…volcanos. we plug up all the volcanos with cows and we would cut greenhouse gasses by like 80%.

Well, i plan to go warm up the planet this weekend, my brother is going to fire up his charcol grill, put some steaks, ribs, brats, and even some burger patties and some hot dogs on it while we contaminate the backyard with empty beer bottles and listen to loud music, have friends over, play darts, pool, horseshoes, etc

What are the G.W people going to be doing this weekend? Have a cookout consisting of all thier favorites, no meat tofu that tastes like meat but only better, soy shit that takes like milk, but only better, and seaweed cause it’s better than vegetables and whatever other processed vegan shit they eat.

While they do this, they’ll bitch and moan about how people eat meat, drink, drive cars, go to work that isn’t environmentally acceptable, lift weights, dont look malnourished and come up with a plan that will make all of us conform to their ways.

Actually, what the main GW person is going to be doing this weekend is running up a $1200 (just for the two days) electric bill for his house, while burning thousands of gallons of jet fuel in a Gulfstream jet, and then at his destination have a fleet of Yukons idling their engines for hours while he gives a speech on how all the rest of us need to reduce carbon output.

(If it’s a typical weekend for him.)

[quote]Bill Roberts wrote:
Sure is a good thing then, as opposed to barbaric as we’ve viewed it till now, that the vast herds of American bison were all needlessly slaughtered.

The greenhouse gases from that vast number of bison would undoubtedly have destroyed the planet had they been allowed to live.

Exactly how the planet survived till we killed those bison is not clear.[/quote]

And, don’t forget that the Indians would start massive forest fires, so that the resulting minimally treed pastures would attract deer.

Very selfish of them, in my opinion.

Just think of the carbon emissions from that.

Plus, less trees to soak up CO2.

It’s a wonder the planet didn’t go into positive-feedback global-warming self-immolation/incineration as a consequence.

Actually, it’s a real puzzler that it did not.