T Nation

Me So Ugly

Man, I am just accepting the world's truth. I am very ugly, real ugly. My past two girlfriends have told me, I remind them of a caveman... My facial features are somewhere between homoerectus and habilis. I am 5'9, built but portly, and seem to genetically grow in all the wrong places, and lag in others.

I am so damn ugly, I guess that’s why I lift weights. If I keep on lifting perhaps, I’ll alter my genetic material into something aesthetic and get laid more often. Girls don’t seem to like me :/. I need to become a muscular beast, I am so angry about my apperance.

Haha, you’ll find a girl that loves you no matter how ugly you are, guaranteed.

She may not be much to look at either, though.

Sorry.

Cool story bro

Girls are very forgiving about physical appearance…much more so than guys. I have a friend (girl) who is very hot and has been dating the same guy for 4+ years and he weighs about 350lbs so there is hope for everyone.

[quote]Petermus wrote:
Girls are very forgiving about physical appearance…much more so than guys. I have a friend (girl) who is very hot and has been dating the same guy for 4+ years and he weighs about 350lbs so there is hope for everyone.[/quote]

Yeah, man. I know I’m not the only one who sees hot chicks walking around with dudes that look like they should have been thrown into the Aegean at birth.

Of course it helps if you have a personality.

[quote]Petermus wrote:
Girls are very forgiving about physical appearance…much more so than guys. I have a friend (girl) who is very hot and has been dating the same guy for 4+ years and he weighs about 350lbs so there is hope for everyone.[/quote]

Damn 350lbs he must an IFBB pro. Whats his contest weight?[/jk]

You so ugly, your momma has to tie a porkchop around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

DB

You’re so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with a job application.

DB

You’re so ugly, that when you were born, they put tinted glass on your incubator.

You’re so ugly that when you sit in the sand, the cats try to bury you.

You’re so ugly, you have to trick or treat by phone.

You’re so ugly, you make onions cry.

You’re so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

You’re so ugly, you give Freddy Kruger nightmares.

DB

[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
You so ugly, your momma has to tie a porkchop around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

DB[/quote]

lol, this one’s funny

[quote]SpartanX wrote:

Man, I am just accepting the world’s truth. I am very ugly, real ugly. My past two girlfriends have told me, I remind them of a caveman… My facial features are somewhere between homoerectus and habilis. I am 5’9, built but portly, and seem to genetically grow in all the wrong places, and lag in others.

I am so damn ugly, I guess that’s why I lift weights. If I keep on lifting perhaps, I’ll alter my genetic material into something aesthetic and get laid more often. Girls don’t seem to like me :/. I need to become a muscular beast, I am so angry about my apperance.[/quote]

As long something motivates ya to keep on lifting,being you feel ugly etc than it’s ok. Just hit the weights man. Also you did mention that you had girlfriends, so what’s the big deal. You lift weights, you still get poonani life is good then.

try to be rich too.

[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
You’re so ugly, that when you were born, they put tinted glass on your incubator.

You’re so ugly that when you sit in the sand, the cats try to bury you.

You’re so ugly, you have to trick or treat by phone.

You’re so ugly, you make onions cry.

You’re so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

You’re so ugly, you give Freddy Kruger nightmares.

DB[/quote]

Been watching Bebe’s Kids ?

lower the bar, shut the lights and have a good imagination.

[quote]WS4JB wrote:
dollarbill44 wrote:
You’re so ugly, that when you were born, they put tinted glass on your incubator.

You’re so ugly that when you sit in the sand, the cats try to bury you.

You’re so ugly, you have to trick or treat by phone.

You’re so ugly, you make onions cry.

You’re so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

You’re so ugly, you give Freddy Kruger nightmares.

DB

Been watching Bebe’s Kids ?[/quote]

No, Google search for ugly jokes.

DB

Beauty is only a light switch away!

[quote]JGerman wrote:
Beauty is only a light switch away! [/quote]

…and about 6 shots of tequila.

[quote]JGerman wrote:
Beauty is only a light switch away! [/quote]

Sometimes you just can’t get it dark enough though.

If you have a Cro-magnon look to you (excessive hair, pronounced brow, sunken, confused eyes) then hitting the weights is only going to repel the ladies. When girls see a built caveman-type they think “he is going to rape me, bludgeon me and feast upon my bone marrow”.

You might take measures to distance yourself from your ice-age ancestry. Get some flattering clothes which draw attention away from the awkward limb to torso ratio. Avoid random, unprovoked gutteral noises. If you feel agitated with simple tasks like uncapping a peanut butter jar or opening a coconut…HIDE THE FRUSTRATION.

There is hope for cro-magnon man. Just look at John C. Reilly. Scientific fact…the base-pairs of his DNA were haphazardly and crudely attached by tree sap and resin. I’ve heard that between movie scenes he forages the studio for berries and edible lichen. John C. Reilly gets women.

Informative thread, would definitely read again.