May Have a Kid Out There

Off Topic
21

[quote]Silyak wrote:
A ten year old that is 5’10"?[/quote]

Ha, I nearly posted about this but thought maybe I was being insensitive by focusing on the minutiae.

TTR is reputedly extremely tall, but still, a 5’10" ten-year-old girl is off the growth charts by, like, six inches.

If the mom said “Yes” then I guess TTR should believe her. But still, I had wondered if you maybe saw-what-you-wanted (sort of) to see because the resemblance seemed so striking.

If this was actually more than ten years ago that you were staying near this woman, it’s certainly possible. I’m not trying to poke a hole in your story, just thinking out loud. If it was actually 13 years ago instead of 10, then the idea that she’s yours becomes a lot more plausible. I’ve seen girls that were 5’9" and 5’10" in junior high. I’ve definitely never seen one in fifth grade.

(TTR, I’m not calling you a liar, just trying to flesh it out a little more)

22

[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
just trying to flesh it out a little more)[/quote]

That is what got him in this pickle in the first place

23

[quote]magick wrote:

If both the woman and her husband has white skin and the girl has black skin, wouldn’t that be immediately suspicious to the father?[/quote]

I’m not black. I’m Mescalero Apache, born on the Rez. My biological father was a honky of the Scot-Irish/Norwegian(?) variety.

Basically, I look like a very, very tall upper-class Mexican, but no Aztec or Mayan features, so no flat face or bumpy nose.

Kid looked like a very dark skin white person, with Asiatic (aka Native American) features, but blue eyes.

Mom is petite blond, blue-eyed, Anglo, and the carpet matches the drapes.

24

[quote]Silyak wrote:
A ten year old that is 5’10"?[/quote]

Tall. I’m guessing. I didn’t pull out a measuring tape in Wal-Mart. She was taller than her mom and spindly.

Anything under 6’ is midget to me.

25

Well, this is a tough one.

If it was me, I would want to be involved in my kids life, but I can understand the risk in messing with what may be a pretty good life for her.

The issue I see is that from what the mom said, the father doesn’t know it isn’t his. That, IMHO makes her a despicable piece of shit, who is doubtful to be a good role model for your child.

Of course, messing with that now could go a number of directions depending on custody and who actually ended up influencing her upbringing. Its an unfortunate situation with the right answer only knowable in hindsight.

26

[quote]fraggle wrote:

Of course, messing with that now could go a number of directions depending on custody and who actually ended up influencing her upbringing. Its an unfortunate situation with the right answer only knowable in hindsight.[/quote]

Lawyer said I have basically 0% chance of even obtaining visitation, in that the child was born into a marriage and the father accepted parentage. Also, I was not involved for a decade.

The word was “no standing under SAPSIR or something.” Perhaps one of the lawyers could explain. Said both I and the husband are fucked.

27

[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
TTR is reputedly extremely tall, but still, a 5’10" ten-year-old girl is off the growth charts by, like, six inches.
[/quote]

Well, girls do hit their growth spurts quite a bit faster than boys, and are entering puberty sooner and sooner in recent years…

28

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Before I go into this, my initial and probably remaining, decision for the best interest of the kid, is to keep my mouth shut. Be curious if you agree.

Story:

I have little crappy houses all over the oilfield, in little dusty towns. Generally, I let my senior people use them so they don’t have to stay in crappy hotels. The oilfield has contracted and is back to mainly drilling horizontals in the Permian Basin, and so I found myself back at one of my own crappy houses for a stretch, about 4 hours from my home.

I used to stay there a fair amount 10 years ago. Got to know a very attractive neighbor lady who was separated from her husband. Little waif of a girl, maybe 5’6". Anglo. As these things go, we had a great FWB situation going and had a lot of fun. Mutually bored and horny. Left on great terms, but then she eventually got back together with husband and moved away.

Saw her at WalMart with her daughter. Age 10ish. Probably 5’10", dark skin and blue eyes. (My biological father had blue eyes – I have brown.) Looked remarkably like me. Looked like my mom, in fact, with blue eyes.

Very surprised, in that I was told that I was shooting blanks at the time (and actually had surgery to fix it).

After a bit, I asked "Is she . . . " to which she hissed at me “Yes, but don’t screw things up,” and rapidly made her good-byes.

I was raised by a step-father, who is my father for all intents and purposes. You change the diapers, you’re the parent, IMHO. I am a soon-to-be adoptive father of my brother’s kids (and have custody), because he and his wife were complete losers in many ways. So I really respect the adoptive father thing.

My inclination is to keep my mouth shut (my wife agrees, is mildly disgusted, but my past is known to her). I think that would be the best for the kid.

I had my lawyer do a little work and the husband is listed as the father on the birth certificate. His name is Anglo and he marked “W, Not Hispanic” of the form, so I presume he is white.

No problems with paying child support if it came to that, but I really would not want to interfere with the presumed dad.

Is this the correct move?[/quote]

You should find out if the father knows that it’s not his child. If he is being deceived, it’s your moral responsibility to end the deception, because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.

29

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]Silyak wrote:
A ten year old that is 5’10"?[/quote]

Lol, ya that’s taller than I am…[/quote]

Midget.

30

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
You should find out if the father knows that it’s not his child. If he is being deceived, it’s your moral responsibility to end the deception, because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]

I’m gonna have to disagree. I think an adult finding out her father isn’t her biological father will be way less traumatizing than a 10 year old having her family ripped apart all of a sudden.

31

Send em a christmas card as an old neighbor so they have some means of contacting you in the future, if they choose.

32

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]

No way. The older she is when she finds out the easier it will be to handle.

33

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]

No way. The older she is when she finds out the easier it will be to handle. [/quote]

Not to derail, but remember this is the fella that flew off the handle in the War on Boys thread.

34

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]

No way. The older she is when she finds out the easier it will be to handle. [/quote]

Yeah I have to agree. It really sucks for the dad, as I would absolutely want to know if it was me. I would still be the kids dad but I sure as hell would drop the whore wife. But, kids welfare comes first

35

[quote]fraggle wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]

No way. The older she is when she finds out the easier it will be to handle. [/quote]

Yeah I have to agree. It really sucks for the dad, as I would absolutely want to know if it was me. I would still be the kids dad but I sure as hell would drop the whore wife. But, kids welfare comes first[/quote]

100% agree.

36

[quote]fraggle wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]

No way. The older she is when she finds out the easier it will be to handle. [/quote]

Yeah I have to agree. It really sucks for the dad, as I would absolutely want to know if it was me. I would still be the kids dad but I sure as hell would drop the whore wife. But, kids welfare comes first[/quote]

Depends.

If I knew she had a fling when we were separated… Who am I to judge? We were separated. As long as she wasn’t fucking other people when we were agreed to be exclusive, I can’t call her a whore in any way.

That said, I’d rather not know until the kid was older. If that makes me a “beta” I dont’ give a shit. As long as she isn’t banging other people NOW, I’d rather blissful ignorance so I can enjoy my family. Fuck my whole life up when she is in college, not grade school.

37

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]fraggle wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]

No way. The older she is when she finds out the easier it will be to handle. [/quote]

Yeah I have to agree. It really sucks for the dad, as I would absolutely want to know if it was me. I would still be the kids dad but I sure as hell would drop the whore wife. But, kids welfare comes first[/quote]

Depends.

If I knew she had a fling when we were separated… Who am I to judge? We were separated. As long as she wasn’t fucking other people when we were agreed to be exclusive, I can’t call her a whore in any way.

That said, I’d rather not know until the kid was older. If that makes me a “beta” I dont’ give a shit. As long as she isn’t banging other people NOW, I’d rather blissful ignorance so I can enjoy my family. Fuck my whole life up when she is in college, not grade school. [/quote]

Maybe whore isn’t the right word assuming what you wrote is how it went down. I couldn’t see myself being married to someone that has basically lied to me for 10 years.

Definitely agree though that at this point you wait until the kid’s an adult and preferably out of the house.

38

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]fraggle wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]

No way. The older she is when she finds out the easier it will be to handle. [/quote]

Yeah I have to agree. It really sucks for the dad, as I would absolutely want to know if it was me. I would still be the kids dad but I sure as hell would drop the whore wife. But, kids welfare comes first[/quote]

Depends.

If I knew she had a fling when we were separated… Who am I to judge? We were separated. As long as she wasn’t fucking other people when we were agreed to be exclusive, I can’t call her a whore in any way.

That said, I’d rather not know until the kid was older. If that makes me a “beta” I dont’ give a shit. As long as she isn’t banging other people NOW, I’d rather blissful ignorance so I can enjoy my family. Fuck my whole life up when she is in college, not grade school. [/quote]

Maybe whore isn’t the right word assuming what you wrote is how it went down. I couldn’t see myself being married to someone that has basically lied to me for 10 years.

Definitely agree though that at this point you wait until the kid’s an adult and preferably out of the house. [/quote]

As someone who knows who the father of their kids is, it is really, really easy for me to sit here and speculate how I feel and how I’d want it to go down.

I just want to be clear here. Things might be different if I was actually in the situation.

But irrelevant, I couldn’t get mad at her for having a fling while we were officially separated.

39

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
But irrelevant, I couldn’t get mad at her for having a fling while we were officially separated. [/quote]

I agree if this is in fact the case and she told me pre-birth it might not be mine.

Honestly, this guy sounds like kind of an idiot if he didn’t put two and two together. Unless she got pregnant and got back together with him the next day, like literally the next day.

40

I have no opinion on this matter.

srsly~