Dude! I have been SO through the wringer on this one on another board.
Slowtwitch has been through this over the last few days due to (1) the announcement of Lance Armstrong separating from his wife Kristin, and (2) the posting of an article by one of the regular writers about her split with her husband. It’s been quite a thread, and it ain’t over yet.
Any way, I remember an illlustration on a tape that I’ve listened to many times titled “Kaking Love Last a Lifetime.” It goes like this:
A young man comes to his father and announces that he is getting married. The father asks, “Why? What’s so special about this woman?”
The son says, “She’s beautiful.”
The father, who happens to be by a chalk board, grabs a piece of chalk and draws a “0” on the board. “So,” he says.
The son says, “She’s kind.”
Again, the father draws another “0” on the board. “So.”
The son says, “She’s tolerant, and will make a great mother.”
Again, another “0.”
This goes on for some time, and each time the father draws another “0” on the board.
Finally, in frstration, the son says, “Dad, I love her and I want to marry her.”
The father’s eyes light up, and he draws a “1” in front of all the "0"s. “That, my son, is what makes all the difference in the world.”
My only recommendation is to wait at least 6 months after the initial engagement to even set a wedding date. I don’t know how long you’ve been dating, but there’s that whole “in love” thing to get through. After that, love is a choice that you make every day.
I don’t know what your spiritual convictions are, so maybe this first recommendation won’t help you, but here’s some books to read to help you through the relationship:
“Fit to be tied” by Bill and Lynn Hibels
“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman
“The Art of Understanding Your Mate” By Cecil Osborne
“If Only He Knew” by Gary Smalley